#milloux allard

[aethersmoke-and-ash]

FFXIVWrite 2020 - #12 - Tooth and Nail

Tooth and Nail

"I don't see why things have to change." Even now, turns later, Milloux wasn't certain why those words haunted her more than the other careless and dangerous things that had been spoken during the course of that erstwhile courtship. Eight words, encompassing a struggle, a lingering and aching hurt that had left her feeling more alone than what she had originally tried to drown in seeking it out. In hindsight she wasn't certain if she was angrier at him for caring so little, or herself for caring so much.  That she had allowed herself to be so vulnerable with him and seen it gathered up, examined, and tossed away.

Why hadn't she left then and there?  Had she truly believed herself worthy of so little? Had the idea of that struggle, of clawing for approval and acceptance and love been so ingrained to her that to claw and scrabble for scraps of affection was all there was for her? Worse, why was it tugging at her now, an anchor she wished nothing more than to jettison? He was gone. Eventually she had walked away. Her body hurt, bruised and depleted, all blooms of sickly purples and yellows over ashen skin.  She'd taken the beating rather than cause harm, tried to steer an old friend from the course they'd set.  It hadn't worked, and the guilt had kept her awake for the bells that stretched from midnight until dawn. Sleepless. Restless.

Yet despite it, she stretched and twined closer to the figure sleeping fitfully next to her; protective of his rest, though Twelve knew there wasn't a damned thing she could do in such a state. Getting away from Sparrow had taken was few reserves she'd had left.

He'd been angry at her, rightfully so.  Those pale eyes filled with hurt and concern as she'd crumpled back against the door frame. Breathless, injured, doubled over on herself.  The excuses had tried to pour from her, tasting like ash on her tongue, like fingers tightening around bruised ribs and rattling them in her lungs.

If he wouldn't understand those impulses, that need to keep in motion, who would?  She had tempered them, once. Molded herself into something quieter, more sedate. They both had, and failed. Several times. Was to do so for the hope of love worse than doing so than the fear of retribution? A tangle of ghosts and sharp edges and high walls. Both of them.

"I want to share your life, not limit it."

Nine words, spoken softly. Things changed. They had to. He understood. Of course he did. Apology, not confession, fell from her lips. And he'd gathered her up, examined her hurts as best he could, and held her close. No small part of her remained wary that things could come so easily, that feelings and intentions could be spoken plainly.

It scared her, how swiftly they'd become entangled and entwined, making up for lost time as though they were racing an unseen clock.  But there was also calm, a lack of struggle that should have scared her even more.

"Okay."

A single word, tumbled from her own lips. Hells, she could scarce remember the precise words that had tumbled from him next, in such a flurry. A fleeting impulse on both their parts. A promise Foolish, utterly. Sealed with a sweet kiss and laughter that rattled bruised ribs.

Tangled limbs pulled her closer, words mumbled and unwaking. Finally, she closed her eyes. If she couldn't sleep, she could at least put those lingering ghosts to bed, sever their mooring. 

---

(( @khalil-nasari​​ and @dietkoalawithlime​ for mentions. And for enabling Mill’s recklessness. And certain parties for being her partner in real impulsive decisions. >.>

I’m so behind on these, but taking them as I can. This is already more than I’ve written for any FFXIVwrite, and even though I am not posting a drabble every day, I’m at least outlining stuff, thinking about the prompts, and feel excited about writing again. Which is honestly no small feat.

2020 has been an absolute shit year for my health. Some of you already know I had covid at the beginning of the year, and have been recovering from the symptoms since. I might post more about that experience eventually, idk.

Phew. Be gentle with yourself, and each other, pls. ))

[snarksonomy]

Milloux Allard~

Advocate of the Ashen Enclave; Good Samaritan, reluctant noble, sometimes vigilante. My bby. Her old headshot was woefully out of date. Needed to change that.

I’ll probably be offering more polished headshots like these soon, stay tuned! (A huge ♥ ♥ ♥  to my supporters on patreon, b/c without you guys, I wouldn’t be able to devote at least a day of each week to art for myself!)

♥ ko-fi // patreon // my art // twitter ♥

[heavens-light-and-hells-ice]

Note to Milloux

To Lady Milloux Allard this note be delivered.

Right worthy lady, I greet you well and with prayers for your wellbeing and that of all the Ashen Clinic’s people and patients. I write this sun to ask your advice on another matter pertaining to the health of our Alpine Greening Institute’s workers in Dravania. It was reported to me that during the high heat of Rhalgr’s moon several of our workers, who, as you know, are largely of the Brume in Ishgard and thus used to weathering extremes of cold, overexerted themselves in the sun and suffered heat exhaustion as a result. I thank the Fury that all cases were quickly tended and no one has suffered long-term complications, but that the people in our charge have suffered at all dismays me.

Already I have ordered another block delivered to the Greenfeather icehouse and temporary workers hired so that each need work fewer bells each sun; I would, however, that we could have prevented these incidents altogether, and thus I write to you to ask the Ashen Clinic’s advice. As no cases became acute, and the workers are all presently in health, I do not think it strictly necessary that any healers be dispatched to the site, though if you believe it prudent we may arrange it together in-person. But I desire rather to know how we may mitigate the possibility of a repeat next year by building shelters, equipping our workers differently, or even simply providing them with education. On this matter I beg you and your clinicians’ guidance, as the safety of our workers is extremely important to me, and I am truly loath to see them exposed to such hazards while in our care.

No more from me at this time though my lady and I continue to await word of your next outreach and remain in eagerness to assist you. May the Fury have you and all yours in Her keeping.

Written at — on this, the 5th Sun of the 5th Astral Moon of the 11th year of the 7th Umbral Era. Your servant, Rosaire Ledigne.

(( @aethersmoke-and-ash ))

[heretic-borne]

I managed to grab an open commission spot (half body) with the wonderful @ha5h who was not only incredibly easy to work (and fast!) but they were very communicative as well! Armand and @aethersmoke-and-ash look amazing!

Check them out because they just re-opened commissions again!

[rose-in-the-stone-moved]

Letter to Milloux - 6/18

It’s a rather harassed-looking Postmoogle who arrives at the Ashen Clinic to see a delivery made to one Lady Allard.  Were the creature not masked by a glamour to keep it out of sight, one might catch a glimpse of an expression so thoroughly grumpy that it’s a wonder the courier’s face hasn’t frozen that way.

But the mail is delivered, and the courier gone, and the letter borne to Milloux Allard seen to have been penned by a neat hand on faintly floral-scented parchment, sealed by white wax. 

To Lady Milloux Allard, written on this 15th Sun of the Third Umbral Moon,

I write you in hopes that this letter finds you well, and if I have been unfortunate to have missed the duration of your stay in Ishgard with its tardiness, that your journey home has been without incident and that the cold of our City-State has since been chased from your bones.

I regret that I was unable to speak with you longer over the course of the ball this last sennight, but as I understand the inconvenient necessity of escort and guard that occupied you all the evening, I am certain you likewise understand what it is to have a job to do.  Doubtless so, really, as it is your job and that of your associates that provided for us one of the primary reasons to have hosted a celebratory dance at all!

And it is because of this, in largest part, that I do write to you now: for the gratitude I feel toward you and yours for your work throughout the course of the Tournament, when I know that there have been matters both mundane and otherwise that have required your attention these last moons, and surely shall in the moons to come. If ever there is anything we can do to repay your generosity, please know that it will be done.

And if, perhaps, your invitation has not expired in the time that has since passed, I would still very much like to meet you for tea and so further express my gratitude in person.  If you are not to return to Ishgard for some time, I would be happy to call when next business takes me southward for our southern offices.

Until then, may you go with the blessings of the Fury, and keep the winds ever to your back.

Sincerely,

G. Gilrouis

Accompanying the letter (and thankfully not destroyed in transit) is a small bouquet of agrimony and marsh mallow, tied ‘round with yellow ribbon.

@aethersmoke-and-ash

[aethersmoke-and-ash]

Waiting for the moment When the night becomes kind There's a shadow creeping through here Will it reach your heart and mind?

[aethersmoke-and-ash]

I'm beginning to wake myself up. I've been dreaming of monsters in love. Now I can't get out the taste of blood. I'm beginning to wake myself up.

[aethersmoke-and-ash]

That was something your father had burned in me Twenty hours out of Homestake eternity You can go anywhere but you are where you came from