mimicofmodes replied to your post: I got my hair cut today and I look really cute and...
I am absolutely not thinking those things! <<<<<<<3 We are much the same creatures. (I know it doesn’t help much as I’m another female friend, but …)
Nah, it does help because every strike is a blow against the indifference of men! Is a reminder of what is really important. I think that’s probably a good thing and probably helpful. <3
thebarefootflapper replied to your post:
I got my hair cut today and I look really cute and...
Boy is this post relatable. I mean, except from the accomplished in other areas of life bit (which I’m just not - I’m not very smart and/or interesting in any way, shape or form), I feel exactly the same way. Internet dating is scary af, (especially when even that seems to be based on an initial physical attraction of sorts) but it just seems like the only way to meet anyone these days. I also wish I had a therapist but I’m so broke right now!
Well, for what it’s worth, I think you’re pretty accomplished! I am amazed by what you can do with make-up. I feel panicked and out of place just walking through the make-up sections of department stores and never actually try to learn more because I’m too ashamed of my ignorance to ask! And you always look amazing and have such knowledge about it. I don’t know if you’ll believe but I’m completely sincere!
Internet dating is ... yeah. Something else to examine with a therapist! I wonder if I should try again but I think I need someone to write my profile for me (because the ones I’ve got are clearly crap) and hold my hand through the process. Not someone who has a very different attitude to dating to me, however, and simply cannot appreciate my very real hang-ups over it. Because one of the worst things has been people trying to tell me how to do it and how it works in a way that might work for them but just makes me feel even worst because I am not like that. (Nothing wrong with people who are confident going on dates, even bad dates, and who can use it as many people clearly do use it - all power to them, but they’re not the right person to help me.)
I will try to pass on anything from my therapist that seems helpful; I know I’m in a fortunate position financially at the moment to be able to afford a therapist. Though tbh I haven’t been overly impressed so far. I mean, she’s nice and encouraging and I just go and spill all the stuff that’s on my mind but basically I just talk a lot and she asks a few prompts, some of which have provoked some interesting thoughts but others haven’t really. But I’ve only had a few sessions and perhaps it takes a bit of time. After all, it’s not like when I saw the school counsellor a few years back when my uncle died and I was deeply distressed and it was sort of obvious what the problem was and how I could be supported. This is much more “there’s stuff that’s holding me back in life and I want to try to resolve it but I’m not sure what or how and I’m not actively in a bad place mental health-wise but I know I’m not quite right either” and that’s trickier to tease out. Especially considering I’m so self-aware so in some ways I’ve already anticipated and answered her questions before she asks them. But knowing myself isn’t the same as being able to change and that’s what I really want! *sigh* I’ll get there!
