This boy. This painfully caring, beautifully emotional, ridiculously bright, desperately sensitive, alarmingly astute, perfectly boy, turned 10 years old today. : And it’s been a goddamn tough day (I took his dad to hospital yesterday; I feared he either had pneumonia or had punctured a lung or cracked a rib). : Today this boy had his family come and visit, bringing presents, celebrating his birthday; he shared Birthday Doughnuts with them (@krispykreme - as IF anything else would do. Also, WAY better than regular cake), chose tv programmes for his young cousins to watch on tv, opened his gifts, carefully read every word in his cards, and thanked everyone for spending time with him. : I feel like I missed out on today, a little bit. I tried to shut out the outside world, but I’m in full on stress mode right now, and that bastarding fucking stupid depression is hot on my heels (it was inevitable - I’m on such a high, the crash always follows). : But this kid. Sweet Jesus this kid is incredible. I *KNOW* every mom on the planet is all “yeah my kid is THE BEST”. But with Big Small, at just 10 years old, I feel like the luckiest mom alive that I’m the one he calls Mummy. I feel like I don’t deserve it sometimes. : I work hard for him (for BOTH of them); last night I was up until 1:30am on our minecraft realm, creating a big cake outside his “house”, filling it with “gifts”, and then creating a redstone circuit to trigger fireworks when he opened the chest of goodies. I didn’t finish it (too complicated), but gave it another go this morning, in between making sure The Mr was still alive and Big Small enjoying his birthday. It worked, and he was SO. DAMN. HAPPY. : This boy made everything ok, today. I don’t know how, but he did. I feel terrible that I missed his “Official Birthday Portrait” this year, but as long as I get just one photo, I’m happy. I think he’s happy, too. : Actually, I really genuinely hope he’s happy, because if he is, then I think I’m doing my job right. •~~~~• : : : : #Polaroid @impossibleprojectid #ImpossibleProject #Spectra #IShootFilm #BelieveInFilm #PolaroidSpectra #BigSmall #BirthdayBoy #BirthdayPortrait #Minecraft #MinecraftMom (at Solihull)