#minimal ones

[grifters-bone]

lemme just take a second to

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

thank you

[minipliny]

bizarre anxiety dreams

My friend is staying with me, but she’s also with her cousin, who is now a tumblr user she knows but 11 years old and very enthusiastic about antique planes and solving crimes.

I take her cousin for a walk, and she insists we climb in a Sopwith Camel with a tough beat cop and the pilot to fly along the canal. I hesitate to climb into the cockpit, and then both the cousin and i promptly fall out of it mid-flight into the canal and swim to safety because she was too excited and there shouldn’t have been four people in the plane.

The tough beat cop turns out to be a physiotherapist from my work place, but she’s now a tough beat cop, and she wants me to be a tough beat cop, and go on the beat. She takes the cousin home to be looked after by my grandma, who is also my friend’s grandma now, and we go for a walk with her and my friend and find a corpse in a tunnel. 

Beat cop does not understand why I am freaked out! This is just one of MANY corpses you can go find as a beat cop! We don’t do anything with it per se apart from awkwardly step on it and note the tragic backstory of the corpse, which we can tell by looking. Also, it’s now the 1950s.

We then go and find corpse #3 after a further awkward corpse incident in a cave. This one is mostly bones, and the beat cop wants me to...look at the nice quilt that the corpse made that’s still lying on the floor with them and...make my own version as an arts and crafts project, because this is how you solve crimes. I am really unsure about this. I also don’t want to take all three corpses for a ride with me in the Sopwith Camel, dressed in Roman clothes, but apparently this is just what being a beat cop involves, and I agree to it.

My friend’s cousin is making a documentary about me being a beat cop. My friend now has all her cousins staying with her in her house. There are about 20 and they are fighting over who gets to use the refrigerator and now I have to help take care of some children which was DEFINITELY the moment of peak horror at which I woke up.