i literally cannot eat a thing on adderal. in fact, i actually feel like i'm going to throw up. really gross huh? probably has something to do with the large ice coffee i drank with extra coconut flavoring. yup i'm definitely going to throw up just thinking about it . i've become so busy gah. today i didn't even go to school because there's just so much to do. got up around 11, went to h's and cleaned his room and took care of my bunny. came back, got some coffees, put some gas in my car, and filled the tirees with air. came home, washed my car, showered, dropped h off at work. i was supposed to go to my dad's for dinner, but now i need to spend the whole day working on my portfolio. everyone is saying how easy this is but i still need to write my speech, write my community service reflection, edit my summative reflection, and then put together the whole dam thing on rieps. not to mention half the shit in it isn't even graded. like thanks teachers, way to fuck up everything. i'm not even sure what i should be presenting. like 5 things.. i don't know. gah there's just a giant lump in my stomach making me sick. almost like butterflies, i've never had so much anxiety. need to go buy a pretty outfit too that won't make me look like a prostitute, that's promising because regardless, i'm going to and i'm sure one of the teachers will say something. nothing i can do about that. wish i could just sleep and curl up into a ball. i don't need this. i've been sleeping so much but regardless, i'm always just tired. i could probably sleep right now too. i give up, how can i survive in the future when i'm struggling now?