Hope
Poe Dameron x Reader
Masterlist
A/N - Sadly, I don’t own any characters other than (y/n)! This is a angsty one for y’all! It’s super long, so I apologize! I just kept on writing! At least it ends happily.... or does it? Read to find out!
Summary: You were sent on a secret mission by General Organa herself, and your husband, Poe, was not happy about it. When you don’t make contact on schedule, he wants to go after you, but can’t because the First Order is patrolling nearby planets, searching for the Resistance.
Warnings: slight violence, mentions of blood, fluff, angst, mentions of death
(y/n) - your name
(y/l/n) - your last name
(y/n/n) - your nickname
(y/h/c) - your hair color
When General Organa pulled you inside her office, you expected the worst. Poe Dameron, your husband, was on a mission, and you thought she was going to tell you he was captured, or dead. Tears started welling in your eyes, and when Leia saw this, she had a confused look on her face.
“Captain, what’s wrong? The General looked at you in concern. “It’s Poe, isn’t it?” You were barely holding it together. At your words, her expression softened. She shook her head, saying, “No (y/n), Poe is fine. He checked in earlier today, actually.” You let out a breath you didn’t realize you were holding. “Thank the maker.” You wondered why she wanted you to come to the command center of the base. “So, how can I help you, General?”
Leia went on to explain a mission she was giving you. You were going to be tailing a suspected First Order spy for a few weeks. She also informed you that Poe would be coming home the next day, which made you giddy. You hadn’t seen him in a month, and you missed him terribly. The mission started in four days, so you’d be able to spend some time with your husband before you had to leave.
~
When you woke up the next morning, your heart skipped a beat when you saw him. Poe. He was sitting on the edge of the bed, just watching you silently. “Hey (y/n/n),” he started with a soft voice, “I’ve missed you so much. I wanted to wake you up but you looked so peaceful. And beautiful, of course.” He smirked at the last part.
There he was, your Poe. You took in his features as if it was the last time you’d see them.
You smiled in your sleepy state. “Come hold me?”
“I thought you’d never ask.”
He climbed in the bed next to you and wrapped his arms around you. Your head rested on his chest, and the moment felt perfect. Looking up at him, you smile again. Before you know it, he leans down and kisses you, then smiles himself.
You sigh in content when you pull away. Poe rests his forehead on yours and you wished it could last forever, but it couldn’t.
“Poe. I have a mission. I’m going to be gone for a while.” You said with a shaky voice, trying to hold back tears. His brows furrowed and a confused expression painted his face.
“What? (y/n), I just got back and you’re leaving? Did Leia give you the mission?”
You slowly nod, letting a lonely tear fall down your face. He gently slid out from under you and stormed towards the door of your quarters. “Poe! Wait!” You were too late. He was out of the room.
You quickly changed out of your pajamas and into the resistance uniform you were given when you came to base. Rushing out the door, you prepare yourself for the scene you’re sure is playing out in command. You hear your husband yelling before you even get to the door. “General! I haven’t seen my wife in a month and now she’s leaving in three days!? How could you do this to us Leia?” Oh maker, it was worse than you thought.
Before walking in, you hear the General’s calm voice, “Poe, (y/n) is more than capable of com-“
“I know she is!” He interrupted with anger, “I just want to be able to be with my wife for more than a few days at a time! Marriage isn’t supposed to be like this. Just because yours is, doesn’t mean that we should be doomed to the same fate.”
This was your time to step in. “Poe! That’s enough!”
He looked at you with shame as he realized what he just said.
“Lei-“
She pointed at Poe and turned to you, “Get him out of my command.”
Nodding, you grabbed your husband by his arm and pulled him out of the room. “What are you thinking?” You yelled.
“I’m sorry, sweetheart. I’m selfish when it comes to you. I just miss you so much when I’m gone, and I expected to get to spend more time with you than 2 days.” He started to tear up, so you reached out and held his hands.
“I know. I miss you too. Poe, as much as I hate it, we are fighting a war. War doesn’t care about marriage or love. I have to do this mission.”
Sighing, he admits, “I know you do.”
~
The next few days were perfect. You spent every second with Poe and had the time of your life. You’ve only been married 6 months, so it was kind of like the really short honeymoon you never got. As you put on your flight suit, you dreaded what you’d have to do next; say goodbye.
You and Poe walked in silence, hand in hand, towards your A-Wing. He let go of one of your hands, turning you towards him. “I love you so much. Be safe, Captain Dameron.”
“I will. I promise. And,” you say, pulling him close to you, “I love you too, Commander Dameron.” This made the smirk you love appear on his rugged face. Cupping your cheeks, he leaned in and kissed you.
After pulling away, your foreheads rested against each other. “Come back to me.” He whispered, eyes closed.
“Roger that, commander.”
His eyes opened and you could see the fear behind them. “I’m serious, (y/n). Don’t do anything risky.”
“I’ll be alright. I won’t do anything you wouldn’t.”
He hugged you tightly and pressed a kiss to your forehead before you climbed into the cockpit. Nodding at him, you closed the hatch and took off.
Poe’s pov:
It’s been a month since I’ve seen (y/n). I think about her every second of every day. Actually, I worry about her every second of every day. I hate that I can’t be there to protect her, but I know she can fend for herself, especially in her fighter.
She’s checks in once a week with Leia using a secure channel. As much as I want to talk to her, I know she can’t be distracted. I think she is due to check in soon.
Often, I find myself thinking back to the first time I met (y/n). She was a new pilot on the base, and she immediately caught my eye. I watched her from afar until I had the courage to ask her out. I walked up to her and she looked like a blergg in headlights.
“Commander. How can I help you?”
“Well, (y/l/n), I was wondering if you’d want to go to dinner with me sometime?”
Her expression changed from shock to confusion. “Me? You want to go out with me?”
“Yes, you. That’s why I came over here.” I chuckled and she smiled.
“Sure. That sounds like fun.”
Everything after that was a blur. Before We knew it, I was down on one knee. I gave her my mother’s ring that I wore around my neck. Our wedding was small but perfect. My best friend, Snap, was my best man, and Tallie was (y/n)’s maid of honor. She looked so beautiful as she walked down the isle on the arm of her father. Her gorgeous (y/h/c) flowed down her back. Her dress. Wow. It accentuated her figure in all the right places. I could barely hold it together, but surprisingly made it through the ceremony.
We didn’t get a honeymoon, so life pretty much continued as normal. We spent as much time together as we could, but we both had responsibilities. The past 7 months have been amazing, but being away from (y/n) on missions is so hard. Now, she is gone and I’m stuck here alone. Leia’s voice over the comms pulled me from my thoughts.
“Commander Dameron, please report to command.” Maybe (y/n) has a message for me! I run to command and am met my a solemn looking Leia.
“Poe, (y/n) didn’t check in at her scheduled time today. She’s probably fine, but I wanted to fill you in on the situation.” My heart dropped at her words. (y/n). The love of my life. My wife. She’s missing.
“We have to find her!” I yell, my voice beginning to break.
“Poe, I do too, but the First Order has increased patrols in this sector and we can’t risk it.” General Organa responds.
“You’re joking. There’s nothing stopping me from finding her!” I start to run out of the command center, but am stopped by a blue stun blast that is shot my way. Everything goes black.
~
(Y/n) hasn’t been in contact with the Resistance in a month. I calmed down after my incident last month, but I still want to go look for her more than anything. Every day, I sit by the communication board praying she’ll send a message. I want to have hope, but I know the chances that she’s still alive are slim. Honestly, I don’t know why I still do this, but I could never give up on her. I know she would want me to grieve and then get on with my life.
Honestly, I don’t think I could ever move on from her. She is my everything. The pure exhaustion of sitting by the comm board 24/7 is starting to get to me, so I doze off thinking of (y/n).
3rd person pov:
3 months later...
The Resistance hasn’t had any contact from (y/n) in four months. Poe has given up hope and rarely comes out of what was once their shared room. Tallie has been delivering him food every day, and everyone is starting to seriously worry about him.
Leia decided they had to do something about him. She walked to his quarters and knocked. “Go away, Tallie!” Poe yelled through the door. “Poe, it’s not Tallie.” “With all due respect General, please leave me be.” He heard a clicking noise, and looked at the door to see Leia walking into his room.
She took a few moments to take in the state of his room. Overturned furniture and broken decor littered the floor. All that remained intact was the bed and a picture of (y/n) and Poe on their wedding day, which he was staring at.
“Poe,” Leia started, “(y/n) wouldn’t want you to shut down like this. She’d want you to avenge her by defeating the First Order that she died fighting.”
“I know she would. I-I just d-don’t know if I-I can do this without her.” He said, his voice breaking every word or so. She walked towards where he sat at the foot of his bed.
“You can, and you’re going to have to. We need you if we are going to win th-“
She was interrupted by her comm going off. “General! We have an unidentified spacecraft entering the atmosphere! What should we do!?” Leia and Poe made eye contact.
“(y/n),” he whispered under his breath. Before she could blink, he was racing towards the hanger. “Do NOT shoot it down! I repeat, do NOT shoot the spacecraft down! It could be Captain Dameron!”
As Poe sprinted towards the hanger, he couldn’t help but think of her. His legs were moving faster without being told to, and he was developing a deep ache in his heart that told him he was getting his hopes up to be broken.
When he reached the hanger, a large crowd had gathered in anticipation. Poe pushed to the front as Leia arrived behind him. His heart was beating out of his chest as he watched the small craft land. When the hatch opened, he held his breath, praying to the maker it was (y/n).
A small hooded figure hobbled out of the ship, and he couldn’t tell who it was. When they looked up at him, his heart started to beat for what felt like the first time in months. “(Y/n)! Baby! You’re alive!!” He ran to her and engulfed her in a hug, picking her up in doing so.
“Poe!” She yelled and hugged him even harder. She winced as she felt him squeeze her ribs. He noticed and pulled back to look her over. She had a busted lip, black eye, and a bloods gash on her forehead. “What happened to you, sweetheart?” They both didn’t even realize they were crying when he gently placed his lips on hers, careful not to hurt her.
When they separated, she looked him over as he did her. “Maker, Poe, you look horrible.”
“I couldn’t operate witho-“
He was cut off by her hugging him again. “I don’t care. I love you so much. I’m never going on a solo mission again.”
“I love you too. We go on missions together now, okay?” She nodded in response, knowing he would always be there for her when she needed him.