#missingafriend

[stygian-memories]

I don't post on here much, and I don't really plan to, but I feel like I just need to message the aether and scream. A good friend of mine just committed suicide. I'm not okay, but I'm in no hurry to meet him in the afterlife. But I'm also not sure how I feel. The past few days I've just been tired, but that I expected, I've had depression for a long time and this definitely is in alignment with that, but then there are the days where I'm pissed beyond reason and I'm so mad at him for doing it. For leaving. I know it's selfish for me to be mad, but how could he!? We used to talk all the time, we were talking and messaging and laughing just two weeks beforehand! He was getting married this week! He was starting a new chapter in his life by moving to a different state with his fianceé! He knew he could talk to me, or to her (his fianceé) any of us. Instead he cut himself off!, and chose to leave us behind. I know it's selfish to be as mad at him as I am sometimes, I know it's selfish for me to think I or any of us knew everything, but I still can't help but be mad. And I feel fucking horrid for being mad, and guilty. It's stupid for me to think that there's anything I could have done better from across the country, but I can't help but wondering that I could have done. Some sign I missed, or if I was just a terrible friend, or. I don't know. I just feel so lost. I keep replaying old memories in my head, and reading old texts, and breaking my own heart by going through them, trying to think of where everything went wrong, but I can't find anything. I just don't know anymore. If anyone is reading this, I'm sorry for unloading my burden on you on this site, but I just needed to air my feelings out to the abyss. I'll miss my friend dearly, and I know there's nothing I can do to bring him back, and I know it'll hurt less with time, but right now I just feel so raw and run down by the events of the past week. I just hope he finds peace in the afterlife that he wasn't able to find in this one.

[theorchid]

Thinking of @mishellereine, yesterday I went to work with an all purple stationery set and wearing a purple dress. 💜 . From left to right, top down: • @AtelierMusubi Seigaiha (waves) A5 TR notebook in Murasaki • @Blackwing 54 pencil • Visconti Rembrandt with a B nib inked with Montblanc Beatles Psychedelic Purple • PenBBS 309 inked with Stars ink Shi-Huo • @AtelierMusubi Pen Case also in Seigaiha Murasaki • Purple crab from the PenBBS Etsy store • @MT_Masking_Tape mujinagiku sumire . . . #MissingAFriend #PurpleForever #AtelieMusubi #Murasaki #Violet #Morado #Blackwing54 #Blackwing #ViscontiPen #PurplePen #MTWashiTape #Penbbs #Penbbs309 #Crab #Penaddict #FPAddict #Inkantadora #Fountainpengeeks #StationeryAddict #FountainPens #StylosPlume #PlumaFuente #Stilografica #Füller #Estilografica #CanetaTinteiro #만년필 #万年筆 #钢笔 #鋼筆 (at Paris, France) https://www.instagram.com/inkantadora/p/BwajoOFDY64/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1o5rsgw70nfbj

[namelessgalfriend]

I miss my Tumblr bestie.

She deactivated her account after years of us being in contact, and sadly, I have no other way to contact her.

Sadness.

[t-ginger-bear]

Dad... Where's Roger...? #dogsofinstagram #dogslife #missingafriend (at Rancho Mirage, California)

[foxwoodforest-blog]

I still miss you. I still think about you, and love you. I still wish we could be those two girls again. It was a simpler time for us.

The problem is that I see life much differently from you. That has always been our problem.

I’m optimistic and take life as it comes at me. If I have a problem I handle it, overcome it, conquer it.

Your lack of drive frustrated me. Not because you didn’t have one necessarily, but because I always felt like you didn’t give yourself enough credit. Like you were selling yourself short. You have as good a chance as anyone- we were in the same boat you and I. But I feel like I learned to swim… but you’re still hoping for some wave to carry you to a shore.

Here’s the truth. I want you to make it. I want you to wake up every day happy, and fulfilled. I want you to smile, and feel joy. I want you to be passionate and complete. I want you to be successful and have more love than you know what to do with. I want someone to cherish you and wrap you in blankets and cook you food. I want you to have a family that is supportive and strong, and I hope that you find people to be that for you.

I hope you grow. Mentally and emotionally.

I hope you grow.

And I miss you so fucking much, but I don’t think it’s possible anymore. I have felt loss and pain, and I can honestly say that you are one of those people to teach me what it is. In fact I know it, because every time I see you, either a picture or in person, it hits me. It hits me right in the chest and it makes me sad, it makes me wilt, and I become frustrated.

Because I will always love you. We will always love you. We will always wish you were apart of our lives again, always want good things for you, and will always be sending emotional support from afar.

Even if you don’t ever think of me, or him, or us.

We will keep thinking of you.

Wolff.s.e

[blancha-jane]

It’s not the distance that madders , it’s if you will forget me .

J.B

[manja717704-blog]

#AllahKnowsBest #LetsLiveLifeAsAllahIntend4Us #MissingAFriend Surah Ar-rad Ayat 11 لَهُۥمُعَقِّبَٰتٌ مِّنۢ بَيْنِ يَدَيْهِ وَمِنْ خَلْفِهِۦ يَحْفَظُونَهُۥ مِنْ أَمْرِ ٱللَّهِ إِنَّ ٱللَّهَ لَايُغَيِّرُ مَا بِقَوْمٍ حَتَّىٰ يُغَيِّرُوا۟ مَا بِأَنفُسِهِمْ وَإِذَآ أَرَادَ ٱللَّهُ بِقَوْمٍ سُوٓءًافَلَا مَرَدَّ لَهُۥ وَمَا لَهُم مِّن دُونِهِۦ مِن وَالٍ Artinya: Bagi manusia ada malaikat-malaikat yang selalu mengikutinya bergiliran, di muka dan di belakangnya, mereka menjaganya atas perintah Allah. Sesungguhnya Allah tidak merubah keadaan sesuatu kaum sehingga mereka merubah keadaan yang ada pada diri mereka sendiri. Dan apabila Allah menghendaki keburukan terhadap sesuatu kaum, maka tak ada yang dapat menolaknya; dan sekali-kali tak ada pelindung bagi mereka selain Dia. (at Melaka)

[nerjateen]

Missing you @ms.karenkate #missingafriend #distance #abudhabifamily ☹️☹️ (at Doha)