An update for the record, I'm mostly okay now. It's been a good few days, the emotional aspect of my friends loss is less extreme, at the very least it's no longer one extreme to the other. Most days I feel normal now. There are still songs I'm going to have to avoid for a while, and there are weird random moments where I'll think of something that my friend and I would have found absolutely fuckin' hilarious, and feel my heart break a little, but on the whole I'm alright now. That being said, his celebration of life is coming up soon, and... I don't think I can go by myself. I don't think I'm strong enough for that. It's strange, really, because I've been to more than a couple funerals to support my family and I know how to be the pillar for them, but I don't know how to be my own support in this. And there will definitely be people I know there, and I know I won't be alone in my grief, but I don't know how to face them or interact with them now. At best it'll end up with at least three of us in a sniveling wreck. So. Yeah. I don't know what to do about that. But I know that I have to go, or I'll regret it.
