The 5 Stages of Grief A theory developed by psychiatrist Elisabeth Kübler-Ross suggests that we go through five distinct stages of grief after the loss of a loved one: Denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and finally acceptance. I disagree on the sequence, respectfully. Mandisa's grandmother phoned me today and her kind words broke me down. I have been going through the activities of the day my mom was buried and what was prominent in my memory was how some people made it about them. I went to bed around 8pm the night before but they kept on waking me up. The focus was on the cow and the booze. It was a lekker jol seemingly. I wrote my to do list for the morning and tried to rest my feet atleast. I had so much anxiety, I couldn't sleep. Sharing a bed with the bundles didn't help either, they have strong legs. I love and miss them. Around 2am I finally gave up on trying to sleep. Pinky was still up baking and Tinkie was keeping her company. I forced Tinkie to go sleep and walked Pinky and her bundles to the gate(they refused to sleep over). I took over the oven. I kept busy and tried my best to be helpful and to gracefully take the jabs and punches thrown my way. I seem to land the position of enemy number 1 without even trying. My natural talent I guess. Breaking down and crying was not an option. I got shouted at for cooking samp to be served to those digging the grave and for not serving tea on time... But none wondered where their warm bath water came from. They had clearly checked into a 5 star hotel, judging by the demands. So before the official stages of grief comes the sorting through the BS pre-stage. The BS being fake concern, opportunistic stage actors, empty promises, unnecessary pageantry & crocodile tears. I know how to switch to autopilot mode. I do it with flair. I miss my mom. I am probably going to grieve her until the day I die. I have accepted that she's gone, so we can tick that one off. #healing #grief #missingmymommy 💔 https://www.instagram.com/p/CThrdYUiqnc/?utm_medium=tumblr
