#missingpagesfrommynotebook

[outofmychelle]

Dress Shopping

Finished tracking down my clients and booking them super early (it's really only 12:25 right now smh) sooooooo I'm looking for options for the Marine Ball!

Yayness!!

[outofmychelle]

Lowkey...

I miss my baby. I spent four and a half hours talking to him last night, and I still miss him. The fuck bro?

[outofmychelle]

Babe has a tumblr now!

and I am fully prepared to be flooded with his Marine humor and sarcasm... I think.

Maybe...? Oy vey, this should be interesting!

[outofmychelle]

The Royal We

Grace: as defined by the walk of the poised

whose poisoned lips whisper withered secrets of weathered tales to any willing ears,

Hastening to measure the pace at which to stride

Inside of the lines as is expected of all color but rhyme died when its hues were told to hide and reside elsewhere til the change of the winds and the welcoming of a new tide

embraced its original, pure form, a

Newborn still warm from the womb where love and adoration were worn as if a blanket

as only a mother could.

Class: seen here as is to be practiced

never heard, but full of wits kept about oneself as if failure to do so would result in a rift comparable to the event know as the continental drift,

is in session with the pupils all paying rapt attention and

Dues to the who of who's and betting on the loose edges of the sanity that comes apart in twos to masters and art so easily confused

With Conceit.

Yet if balanced perfectly, Grace and Class collide and never

collapse into the dangers of perhaps the steps lead to mishaps or a possible lapse in the taptaptaps of the routine of the High Society.

Regality is a concept for the few, as naturally,

at a time, there is only one King and Queen apiece.

[outofmychelle]

Why not?

I can leave my heels on. Just like I could leave the light on. I'm not necessarily opposed to rugburn. Or bites. Or scratches. I could cook afterwards, or before, or I could skip the meal altogether. I may even find a new appreciation for chocolate or whipped cream under the right circumstances. Perhaps I can just lay back and enjoy the ride, but maybe I just want to run the show. I could prolong this, or get right down to business. I'm game.

Question isn't about me. It's actually referring to whether or not you can keep up.

[outofmychelle]

Introspect

We've been down this road before

That's for damn sure

But like the waves we return with the ocean's roar

As if we could be so pure

You can't let go and I always let you back in

A more foolish thing I've never known

And even when we shouldn't we take pleasure in our sin

We couldn't begin to tame the monstrous seeds we've sown

Strange that our explanations never included the term lovers

That's not passion that is building

Yet still the situation always drove away significant others

Wait till attention comes to the drops of disaster we're spilling

Drugging kisses and addictive embraces that can never be permanent

That fire in your veins is this relationship's poison

Forbidden meetings given with barely legal consent

Those sweet nothings leaking from the Devil's own voice and grin

 In this taboo remains all our ecstasy unbidden

The facade is leaking in tears that ruin makeup

And we forsake the consequences and continue guilt ridden

The worst is the best to happen but we still won't break up

Unclean and impure never mind the euphoria each tryst

This was doomed from the start, but what a story we tell

Against all odds it was written in the flames for this love to exist

And residing in the darkness we made our own heaven out of hell

[outofmychelle]

No Signal

You’re a PC.

And, being from the Apple, I should’ve known better than to put my trust in anything less than that which is equal to my own capabilities,

But for whatever reason, my system reacted to your pretty lights with the only glitch that I have thus far been susceptible to.

Maybe because the smooth tones coming from those deceptively clear speakers of yours flew out in such a concise manner that my

Superior programming got intrigued for a moment, needing to decipher the binary codes behind such amazing new intelligence.

Your processes took me on Safaris that opened new tabs in my mindset, left me speechless and in awe and in need of more:

The basic edition was no longer good enough.

Suddenly I was downloading all your emotions and antics into my psyche,

Your words transferred into my daily vocabulary, and I was constantly a user of all the applications you provided, never realizing the implications of what your actions that kept you so pretty and appealing would eventually do to my entire sanity.

Our magnetism was hot like fire and when you overheated, it was always me that had to make sure your hard drive was handled,

And it drove me crazy that your design left no room for your own disaster, but my own was distantly looming: deciding upon the perfect dissertation to discuss the dilemma your diluted fantasies had lead me into.

Slowly but surely, it became clearer and clearer that something was not right.

Every moment of trying to spend quality time was met with a firewall saying not this time

And all conversations and explorations into emotion ended in unable to load, unable to care, unable to give two give two short circuit-worthy moments of time.

Now, there were the viruses that seemed to always be around,

Sneaky little bastards that left evidence of the presence but you thought I was so dense where your only defense was, “So I can’t have friends?”

The trouble was mounting.

Our massive miscommunications made mass media look mediocre in the mishandling of misconceptions so easily mistaken for the truth.

It took me too long to find that another could be just as fly to abide by the standards I was built to maintain,

But once that network appeared on my wifi, my preferences changed back to accommodate the partner that should have been my match from the start.

Not even saying it to be mean

Deleting your data was the smartest shit I’ve ever done.

I took my modifications back and was startled to see you left with only a blue screen blinking No Signal back at me.

Upgraded and happy, I think back and see I was always a Mac and the one you stole your color from.

[outofmychelle]

#CHELLYTAUGHTYOU

**DISCLIAMER** It is not normally in my nature to be vindictive or bitter. This rant is not fighting for custidy of the subject; rather, it is fighting for respect where respect is due.

I have a hard tim letting go. I'll admit to it - first step to recovery and all that. But getting over certain things tends to become increasingly more difficult when these things seem to resfuse to go away. Recently, i went through a period of cleansing, where I let go of all the people in my life that i knew were toxic to my growth, one of them being a certain Jersey-lovin', Atlanta reppin', T.I. look-a-like who swept into my world with a Southern drawl and flair that I was in no way prepared for. Leaving out details, I was lied  to, and I do not tolerate such fuckery. 

Upon being set loose, however, this . . . dog sees fit to continue to come back into my life, his enitre style completely changed and reminiscent of yours truly. -____- Really though?! And the icing on top of it all - everyone recognized the change and he accepts it simply as, and i quote, "My style doesn't stop."

Are you fucking me? ARE YOU FUCKING ME?! Hun, you didn't know the meaning of swag before I got to you. So please, exit stage left, and take your ass back to bitch ass Seton Hall where you belong. kthxbye.