May 22, 2023
Vielleicht bist du nicht immer mein erster Gedanke des Tages, aber Ich beende jeden Tag mit dem Gedanken du bist jetzt für immer bei mir... 🙏🏻 naja ich wünsche es mir zumindest
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Vielleicht bist du nicht immer mein erster Gedanke des Tages, aber Ich beende jeden Tag mit dem Gedanken du bist jetzt für immer bei mir... 🙏🏻 naja ich wünsche es mir zumindest
alcohol you later when i’m drunk
i don’t know when i became the girl that cried over a stupid boy when she got drunk. when she let all of her emotions take over and she couldn’t control herself anymore. i don’t know when i allowed you to have that much control over me. i can’t even enjoy myself when i’m drunk because i think of you.
when i’m sober i’m okay because i can remind myself of every bad thing that you ever did or said to me, but when i’m drunk...
i think about how i used to crawl into bed with you after a long night out and fall asleep with my head on your chest. i think about how you would run your fingers through my hair and say “tell me something i don’t know about you already.”
when i’m drunk i want so desperately to call you and tell you about my day... and sometimes i do.
when i’m sober i can stop myself. “THINK OF HOW MISERABLE HE MADE YOU FEEL,” my subconscious screams. but when i’m drunk it’s like her voice turns to yours and my chest aches at the thought of never seeing you again, or telling you the minor details that i’ve never dared to tell anyone else.
when i’m sober i can act like i’m fine, but when i’m drunk i can’t fake it and that’s why i quit drinking. so i can finally quit missing you.
Here you are, giving up the fight. Here I am begging you to try. Talk to me, let me in.. But you just put your wall back up again. Oh when's it gonna end? There's a chance I could change my mind.. But I won't, not till you decide. What you want, what you need. Do you even care if I stay or leave?.. Oh, what's it gonna be? How far do I have to go to make you understand ? I wanna make this work so much it hurts, but I just can't Keep on giving, go on living with the way things are So I'm gonna walk away And it's up to you to say how far...
"i will stay forever for my beautiful girl" was the biggest fucking lie.