That time I needed Chris Harrison to save me
I, along with most girls, would be lying if I said that every time a guy suggests a run of the mill wine bar date, I am secretly hoping for something exciting and unique. That being said, execution is everything, and while all of the pieces for a great date with Mike were in place, it quickly turned disastrous.
After an unremarkable date to Amelie with Mike, he asked me if I would be free for a daytime adventure date. I was immediately intrigued and accepted. Although Date #1 wasn't great, it wasn't terrible either and was willing to give him a second shot. As the date approached, I got scant details. Wear athletic shoes. Ferry Building. 1 pm. It was all very Bachelor-esque to me, and wished that Chris Harrison would make an appearance too.
I arrived at the appointed time, and asked him where my Date Card had been. He laughed, kissed me on the cheek and escorted me to our rented bikes. Active date, check.
Despite the fact I wasn't sure what Mike had in store, he made me go in front so he could "check out my ass in yoga pants" while I pedaled. Our first stop was Ghiradelli Square for a sundae break. Now that we were face to face, it was painfully obvious we had nothing to talk about. With chocolate fudge in my stomach, I was able to look past the mild creepiness, but no amount of sugar could make up for the fact that there was zero chemistry between us.
After our ice cream, we hopped back on our bikes and I enjoyed the reprieve from talking to Mike. Our next stop was Ft. Mason. It was a gorgeous, unseasonably warm January day, and the park was filled with sunbathers and picnickers. I caught myself checking out a group of guys tossing a frisbee, and reminded myself that I was on a date.
We sat down under a tree - again, all very cute but awkwardly silent - until he grabbed my hand and dragged me down a path. He pointed to the tree above us and innocently asked me if I knew what kind of tree we were standing under. I’m not a botanist, but know a thing or two about trees, and seeing the pile of acorns we were standing in, replied “an oak.”
“Haha, no, it’s a mistletoe tree!” and kissed me. I got sweaty and started looking around, hoping no one I knew was around to have overheard that terrible line and see me have a giant smooch laid on me.
I immediately went from bored to fully over the date. After suggesting we return to our bikes and bags, checked my phone and noted that I needed to meet a friend in an hour, so maybe we should head back.
Trying to salvage the date, Mike asked me if I were hungry, and when I said no, asked if I minded watching him eat. Yep, I did. He said he would just grab a quick salad from Safeway, and I told him that if he wanted to get a snack, I was going home. I realized then that I probably sounded like a huge bitch, and made a joke before pedaling off ahead of him toward the Ferry Building. (Note to guys - if you really want to get a girl to indulge your snack habit, don’t give her an escape vehicle.) I returned the bike and feigned a phone call with a friend to get away ASAP.
When Mistletoe Mike followed up the next day to ask me what went wrong on our date, I politely responded that I didn’t feel any chemistry. When he insisted that the third date would be the charm, I declined, and hoped he retired his arborist line before he sent another girl frantically biking away.