#mitm headcanons

[augdawg888]

dating reese wilkerson (headcanons)

im branching out from just normal headcanons

enjoy!

you had to ask him out because he's sooo oblivious

then it took lots of convincing that you actually like him

"okay, be honest, you actually like me?"

ALL the reassurance

"i'm just checking."

he's obsessed with you

and he cooks for you all the time

every snack you like, he's memorized

his love language is obviously acts of service

besides cooking, he'll do whatever he can

carry your things, beat up people for you, and he'd even clean for you

he's learned how to do a lot of things from how he grew up

just like francis, he is AMAZING at laundry

he also loves physical touch

constantly has an arm around you

and he gives the comfiest hugs

he loves his hair being played with

literally melts

if you're shorter, he always kisses the top of your head, but if your closer to his height then he kisses your cheek

the family loves you

everyone swears that since he met you he's calmed down

dewey and hal were the easiest ones to talk to

malcolm didn't really care at first, he was more shocked

same with lois, after the shock she was a little doubtful

she was worried you were wild like reese

but when she notices how he was around you, you grew on her

reese gets TERRIFIED when he sees you talking to his mom

bros paranoid

it weirds him out even more when you hang out with malcolm

but he loves that you were able to fit in with his crazy-ass family

he loves sharing his music with you

if you have a walkman he constantly brings you different cds

he even burns a couple for you

if you like cassettes he'll spend a shit ton of time getting ones for you

he doesnt let you steal his clothes because he's already giving them to you

as long as you keep wearing them he'll give them to you

his favorite hoodie? dont matter

the comfiest sweats he owns? they somehow ended up in your bag when you left

he just loves the way you look in his clothes

-

i hope this was good, it's not what i usually do. hopefully you enjoy it!!!!

[imptired]

If Malcolm in the Middle kids were 2000's babies, how would they navigate social media?

LOIS

Uses instagram and facebook

Only posts family pictures

A lot of posts with 5-20 likes, following and followers list all family that she hates but cant unfollow

Spends a good amount of time trying to pick pictures so people think theyre a better family than they are

Accidentally posts stories and cannot delete them

Stalks her kids' instagram accounts under a fake account

HAL

Had one viral post as a parent, has been trying to reclaim that fame by getting following but hasn't had that success ever again

Clout chaser

Has over one thousand posts, shifting from whats popular amongst kids and then sometimes has a few posts in a row about government conspiracies then goes back to normal

Posts Lois&his pics more than he posts family pictures

Panics when he accidentally follows other women influencers

Actually very loud and open about social injustice

About 2k followers, about 10k following list

Uses instagram, tiktok and facebook; posts on all three at once

Has a side account for celebrity gossip, is actually kind of popular there, 50k followers

FRANCIS

Used to post all kinds of emo stuff as a rebellious teenager, has deleted them all

Knows all the niche internet stuff

Used to have a tumblr account which was actually pretty popular, ranting about his life and his mom, deleted it after Piama found it bcs he was too emo in his speeches and felt cringe

Posts pictures about Piama and him, and the ranch life, nothing else

About 500 follows, and 20 followings

Piama doesn't have an account, doesn't like social media. Uses Francis' to post and scroll sometimes but that's it

REESE

Self reports his crimes by posting them online bcs he thinks theyre funny

Posts bad pictures of malcolm

Has been catfished a few times

Doesnt post his face

Barely uses the apps and forgets they exist bcs breaks his phone regularly

About 80 followers, and same amount followings

Used only instagram

Concerningly into the chinese dramas on tiktok

Follows celebrity gossip pages

MALCOLM

Takes social media and digital footprint VERY seriously

Uses twitter, instagram, facebook, discord, tiktok, tumblr to keep up with the trends so the kids don't think he doesn't know anything

Knows every reference but cannot make any of it

Posts about whoever he likes' interests

Makes his account private everytime he gets rejected

Used to put on emo anime profiles because he thought girls found them cool

Warns people about digital footprints and reposts

Blocked all his family

DEWEY

Has two accounts; one all his family follows him on, about 20 followers. Private account. Only instagram

The second account he has all his family blocked, even his moms secret account, where he has over 800k followers and is a micro celebrity.

Is friends with a couple influencers

Posts about his days and his piano recitals like a digital diary, people eat it up

Doesn't post his face at all to not get tracked

Accidentally does follow Hal's celebrity gossip page, neither knows it

Pretends to have a different life than he does

[malcolmshigh]

i love cannibalism fics. mitm needs more cannibalism fics. is my mic on can you guys hear me?

Francis biting into Malcolm's cheek and tearing it right off. It pulls away in a mess of blood and stains their childhood bed.

Reese being taken apart from the inside out by Malcolm like a biology project. He cuts a careful incision, just like dissecting a frog. Then he guts him, brutally, meticulously, like a butcher born to be a surgeon.

Both Malcolm and Reese devouring Francis because they're so scared he wont come back from Alaska, that he's leaving them alone in a world that seems so against them. They want a part of him to stay forever, so they tear him apart together. And in their empty house, amidst a blood-soaked kitchen, Reese cooks him, and plates their brother for the both of them. Its their first silent dinner, and the two find it hard to breath.

[panicangelscience777]

Reese’s Mixtape & Music Headcanons

Tracklist

Moon Baby - Godsmack

Stress - Godsmack

Whatever - Godsmack

The Morticians Flame - Acid Bath

Cheap Vodka - Acid Bath

Nomadic - Slipknot

What I Always Wanted - Kittie

Snot - Snot

Joy Ride - Snot

The Box - Snot

Suck - Kittie

Same In The End - Sublime

Santeria - Sublime

Smoke Two Joints - Sublime

Garden Grove - Sublime

Caress Me Down - Sublime

Lotion - Deftones

Wicked - Korn ft. Chino Moreno

Hello Kitty Kat - The Smashing Pumpkins

Bodies - The Smashing Pumpkins

Eddie Vedder - Local H

Hot Dog - Limp Bizkit

Re-Arranged - Limp Bizkit

Almost Over - Limp Bizkit

Hold On - Limp Bizkit

Break Stuff - Limp Bizkit (I had to do it)

SpottieOttieDopaliscious - Outkast

Electric Relaxation - A Tribe Called Quest

Two Dope Boyz (In a Cadillac) - Outkast

Southernplayalisticdillacmuzik - Outkast

Man in the Box - Alice In Chains

We Die Young - Alice In Chains

Pretty Fly (For A White Guy) - The Offspring

Why Don't You Get A Job - The Offspring

Want You Bad - The Offspring

In Too Deep - Sum 41

Tubthumping - Chumbawamba

She's Got All The Friends Money Can Buy - Chumbawamba

ATLiens - Outkast

Tear da Club Up - Three 6 Mafia

Half On a Sack - Three 6 Mafia

Body Parts - Three 6 Mafia

Still D.R.E - Dr. Dre, Snoop Dogg

So Fresh, So Clean - Outkast

My Plague (New Abuse Mix) - Slipknot

Kabuki Girl - Descendents

Pervert - Descendents

I'm Not a Loser - Descendents

Suburban Home - Descendents

Silly Girl - Descendents

I 100% think he'd love going to shows in their local punk & hardcore scene. Whether it's to actually enjoy the music or use it as an excuse to beat people up.

· · ─ ·✶· ─ · ·

I've seen so many people say they think Deftones would be his favorite band which I just cannot agree with. While I do think he'd dabble in their music (even put one of their songs in here), I totally see him as a Sublime, Sum 41, Snot, and Limp Bizkit kinda guy instead.

"REESE?! TURN IT DOWN NOWWW."

"Huh? Did you hear something?"

He would fucking loveee the rap & rnb that was charting at the time (2000-2006). I don't know how people have completely disregarded this idea. He's a teenage boy in the 2000s lets get real plsss. I assigned Outkast as his favorite artists because I can and 'cause I said so.

(That headcanon is probably my favorite out of all the others)

· · ─ ·✶· ─ · ·

There's a scene in S4 Ep.6 (Forbidden Girlfriend) where Hal is being Hal and dancing around their living room, but he's listening to what sounds like Show & Tell by Al Wilson which leads me to believe that all the boys grew up listening to artists like Al Wilson, which also leads me to my next point.

Even though I think he'd listen to rap more, I think he'd still have major respect for R&B/Soul Artists like Lauryn Hill, Marvin Gaye, Sade, Luther Vandross, or Aretha Franklin (though he'd never admit he stole all the older artists from Hal).

Probably uses that shit to impress a girl 😭

Definitely stole all of Francis' CDs when he left.

MP3 Player >>> CDs.

CDs >>> Vinyl.

Vinyl >>> Cassettes.

Prove me wrong.

I wanted to deny it so hard but he would definitely be one of those guys that would complain about some alternative bands not being "hard enough".

The words Poser & Sell out are tired of coming out of his mouth.

Tries to put Malcolm onto his music Taste. He doesn't fuck with it. At all.

I tried to keep the playlist as historically accurate as I could by only putting songs that came out in 2006 or older but I put Acid Bath on there because..yes.

︶⊹︶︶୨୧︶︶⊹︶︶⊹︶︶୨୧︶︶⊹︶︶⊹︶︶୨୧︶︶⊹︶

Tbh I really used being both black and alternative to the best of my abilities on this post lmfao!

Let me know if you guys want modern mixtapes or modern head canons!!!

Might make a Malcolm one if this does well.

[augdawg888]

Could you do Reese headcanons with a punk S/O (gender neutral or female) and maybe how his family would react too? Like they are punk style and ideal wise but really multifaceted and even smart. Everyone that I ask for punk hcs writes the punk character as stupid 😔

im not very punk, but imma try my best !

reese wilkerson x punk s/o

he was super interested when he first saw you

woah. cool

when yall started dating lois freaked out

but youre cool and hella respectful

and reese even started learning things about punk culture

he lets you do his makeup

guyliner.

and liberty spikes

he eventually even lets you dye his hair

ofc yall match colors

he likes gifting you cds he likes (rap & rock)

you get to introduce him to new music, and explain the deeper meanings

bros attention span sucks, but he listens to everything you say

concerts are super fun together ! yall keep the tickets and try to attend as many as you can

he feels super seen with punk people lowkey

hes odd shines bright lol

you let him wear your battle vest and it takes him a while to realize how important it is

he even tries to gift you more patches to add to it

meeting his family was realllllyyy scary

just lois

hal thinks youre dope asf

the episode where he makes the killer robot and has a whole different attitude

yeah he kinda cracks into that

might even offer you a beer if lois isnt around

but def wants to be cool around you

malcolm thinks youre an idiot at first, but you prob went on some tangent during a dinner and he was like 'oh shit, they're smart!'

you guys read anti-government books and talk about them

george orwell gets brought up more than he should ever btw

dewey doesnt know what to think

you guys bond a bit over music

classical punk is most definetly a thing btw

francis thinks youre super cool

talks about what happened when he got piercings

overall everyone undermines you, you may be punk but youre a whole person

reese is so down to commit some crimes

esp to make a statment

he knows where to get the best spray paint

loves a good fire

and even enjoys getting into a fight every once and a while

if you smoke weed, hes joining 100%

hes a clumsy ass roller, but ofc all he wants is joints

shotgunning >>>>

yall share cigarettes too

this was super fun actually, but if its inaccurate my bad.

i feel like this might have come off anti-lois btw, and i love her, trust. shes just looking out for her psycho kids <3

[augdawg888]

Can you do reese headcannons with a taller S/O

im so so sorry for this late ass response, but here you go!!!

reese wilkerson x taller s/o

he's unbothered by it

but he's a shit so he's gonna make some jokes here and there

"hows the weather up there?"

he cracks himself up lol

will beat up anyone who makes fun of you though

he thinks you're beautiful

literally worships the ground you walk on

but he compares you to models

and you've got legs for days which is sexy asf

he'll rest his head on your shoulder when you stand or sit next to each other

jaw & neck kisses cuz it just lines up right :)

he's on his tippy toes

when you guys go to prom together malcolm gives reese so much shit

you wear heels and are even taller !! (which fuck yeah do your thing)

reese eats them up

you're a little leaned over in all the pictures but you guys look great

there's a few candid ones and he's just looking at you with love in his eyes

no one thought they could get him in a suit tbh

he holds your hands while walking down any stairs

yall drive your car to the venue and he has to move the seat forward

youre the perfect height to spoon him

and he loves it on the dl

he'll never admit it to anyone

if he spoons you, your feet hang off the bed a lil

but who cares cuz its so cozy

he eats up spooning you anyway cuz he finally gets to kiss your forehead

this was really fun ! im a short dude w a tall gf so i tried to kinda base it off that idkkkkk, this was def an attempt tho so it's not the greatest lol.

also, i know this is more fem!reader. i try to be more gn with my headcanons, but lmk if you want anything more masc leaning/specific!!!

[malcolmshigh]

dont ask questions im having visions

[malcolmshigh]

Thinking about Malcolm to The Competition by Kimya Dawson