Hi!!! I wanted to send in my atla oc, Lee, because I've been pondering whether or not I should hit them with the intersex beam, since their whole deal seemed a little bit intersex coded. And I wanted feedback since I'm not intersex, and to show them to anyone lmao.
For context, they're a 16yo aroace and agender. And they're kind of an outlandish oc, especially for atla, because their whole deal is that they're cursed to turn into a dragon from time to time.
So anyways, here's my proof and things that incline me towards going all out with the intersex beam!! (Tw for torture, mutilation and IGM mention)
1) Their curse is tied to some bet or pact their mother made one time, with the moon spirit. Somehow. So they usually turn into a dragon once a month, upon the new moon mostly.
This just read to me as very much related to puberty, especially period. Alongside the fact that they'd often miss having fur over certain parts of their body, or that it'd grant them some kind of gender euphoria, and the whole concept of growing a ton of body hair overnight or having a distinct mood due to internal factors.
2) Lee's agender identity. They've basically struggled to fit in for their whole life. They were AFAB and treated as such for their early life but always under certain a scrutinizing gaze. Since people would know that there was something "wrong" with them, or that it'd made them "not girly enough". Or "not manly enough" later on, when they turned to the incredibly common name "Lee", and tried to fit in with men whilst running away from an arranged marriage.
3) The concept of the "odd middle ground" that was their curse. Since Lee would be too "weird" or wouldn't physically fit the societal criteria for men/women. (Like being too tall for girls, having a higher pitched voice than any male teens, having wider shoulders than most girls and wider hips that most boys, etc). Especially the whole analogy of "not being a real human nor being a real dragon" (my favorite examples are their body temperature being lower and also related to their unspecified disability/chronic illness, their teeth being sharper and having their retinas reflect light at night)
But overall the thematic and literal dissonance between the typical "two boxes" everyone tries to shove Lee in.
4) They also end up losing their curse after severe physical and psychological distress caused by torture and being a war prisoner. It'd basically get blocked out, or severely reduced due to some funky curse mechanics that I can't really explain quickly. But they had many traits that changed with their appearance mutilated. Such as ears, fangs, nails...
It particularly reminded me of IGM, and extremely heavy intersexism alongside how they were clearly raised as one gender but never quite fit into any gender at all.
(Plus how I've also seen a very cool "defanged intersex flag" for IGM survivors)
5) Their unspecified chronic illness is already tied to their curse, and completely ongoing even if the former isn't present anymore. It's was just really badly accentuated thanks to it's transformations. So it made me think that maybe some aspects of their chronic illness could also be tied to certain intersex traits. However, I mostly pull back from this reason since both their illness and hypothetical intersex traits that I had in mind are both really really unspecified. In the sense that this is my first intersex oc and I'm just throwing things around for now, but keeping things ambiguous also sounds fun.
6) Their possible intersex coding being capable of really tightly linking towards Lee's other internalized "isms". The most notable being their body dysphoria, internalized acephobia and intersexism going hand in hand for some issues they have. (Especially in regard to trauma and thinking that they're unlearning these behaviors when being just as wrong if not worse than before). And overall how fun and thematically fitting being intersex could be for them.
7) The existence of their intersexuality just completely breaking through their bigoted views and what they thought (and were raised to believe) that made them "inadequate/a monster/wrong" etc. Because at first, if they were 100% confirmed as intersex, and shown to have a curse that supposedly makes them a "monster", can be misleading, and even look like an archetype, (a harmful one too if the whole intersex thing is looked as a "curse" when it obviously), which also applies to their in canon like of thought.
Until they realize that they've ALWAYS felt like that. They've always had a dissonance between being anything, they've always had no real attraction in the sexual nor romantic sense, they never fit in, getting too tired or too sick that they're be "useless" in most people's eyes. All of that. Not because of a "curse", but because that's just how they are.
And I think that them being intersex would be especially interesting for them. Due to the entire "I can't fit in because the curse twisted my body and emotions, and made them too weird" those of stuff, when in reality, it was never a curse, or something that could be "fixed". Plus, also a fun subversion of the possible "x character is intersex because it's forced upon them via other means" archetype. Since Lee would just have ALWAYS been intersex.
(They'd spiral and have an identity crisis for a while about it, since they'd think that their intersex traits were an irreversible byproduct of the curse. Until realizing that upon "losing" the curse, they've never ever retained any characteristics from it such as fur, fangs, scales, etc. Hence realizing that they've always been like that, by use of logic)
So that's mostly it!! Lee being intersex has practically been canon to me for what, six months? Maybe more? (For context, I've had Lee in my mind for about two years now)
And I think that upon accidentally seeing some intersex coded readings on them, that it might be fun and thematically appropriate for them. But I've been pulled back from fully canonizing it due to fear of not being able to write them appropriately. (especially if I fail at the whole "subversion of archetypes" thing)
With all that said, I've mostly thought of Lee having clitoromegaly with a phallus structure similar to a micro penis. But I'm still mulling on whether or not to make it just a micro penis instead. Alongside maybe an abnormal vagina sort of structure, but I'm not as sure on that one.
But they DEFINITELY have tubular breasts. They mostly bind to hide them away as much as possible, even while they were raised as female. It was a very scrutinized aspect of their body that they were shamed for. But they eventually managed to accept themselves, and even love having them rather than the standard breasts!
I really linger on that one because I'd LOVE to make some nice scenes or designs of them just being happily topless without a care in the world. This is mostly because I love how many artists paint characters showing breasts as something natural rather than taboo! So I'd love to give the same kind of positivity towards more intersex specific body attributes. Plus they have some AU designs where they're just shirtless and very much a diva and it looks so sick on them.
So anyways! That's all. I'd just like to hear some feedback on this, because I get the feeling that maybe they're best when they're intersex coded rather than canonically intersex, since maybe they're too cluttered with stuff to deal with or that I won't handle it well enough, or if it even ends up being redundant and not making sense if to coexists with their curse. That's symbolically A LOT of stuff.
I'd like to hear if it's better to keep their variation as undisclosed or give them a particular one. Plus if my reasoning or ideas are misguided with some intersexism, or if they sound iffy and could be made better. Anything! (also forgive me if I have any typos or I explain myself badly, or just happens for too long)
(Have a very nice portrait of Lee in their late 20's after The Horrors™ a.k.a the prettiest agan in town <3/lh.)
(And one last thing! I actually post about them in my side blog @just-a-useless-atla-oc-au that's pretty much dead because studies STILL have a chokehold on me. dumblr just won't let me send the ask from the side blog):
after reading through all of this, my thoughts are you dont need a reason to make a character intersex, but i really do enjoy this metaphor for it with lees story. i dont particuarly think theres a risk of doing things "wrong" since its pretty clear youve done your research. i dont think much will change whether you decide to give them a specific variation or not, you dont need to have one in order to write a good story. i think leaving it up to interpretation or even lee not knowing it themself can be a tool to help the story/metaphor stuff but its not bad to have a specific one in mind either. i think unless people have like really bad reading comprehension i dont think it would come off as offensive either, even with it being a "curse" and all. intersex people can feel like theyre cursed or a burden to friends/family due to their conditions and it feels like lees story is more about self acceptance and whatnot instead of just "youre cursed and youre evil and horrible for it"
my thoughts are very much all over the place but i do think lee is very neat and i enjoy their story greatly.. hopefully the response is coherent enough as well lol -mod revenant
