hi hi !! i’ve been working on an intersex oc and while i’m intersex myself my variation(s) and experiences are quite different from this character’s so i wanted to ask for feedback if that is okay!!!
cw for mentions of genitals (nothing explicit just describing the characters intersex traits) and childbirth/pregnancy (also not graphic it’s just something that happened)
to prevent confusion i will just be using their name even tho i might change it (which is dara). i call them by they/them but i dont imagine they care much about pronouns,, generally i view them as gender apathetic with being intersex impacting their gender a lot. they are a bit older (not Actually Old but like late 30s or early 40s) and i dont think they’d spend much time in spaces that use more modern/niche labels so they wouldn’t describe their gender how most of tumblr would … but like they view their gender as matching their sex (so cis in a sense) its just that their sex is “ambiguous” due to being intersex. they will pretty much respond to anything though and are used to being read as all kinds of genders.
anyway i am still in the researching process so a lot of this stuff is subject to change. i guess i just wanted to talk abt them and if anything is glaringly wrong or offensive id love feedback, especially from specific groups they are a part of (like people with CAH).
so they have CAH (i dont have my notes with me so forgive me if i don’t use the specific terminology but they have a severe, “classic” salt-wasting type). i was intending for them to have been identified as intersex at birth because of ambiguous genitalia and assigned male but not given any surgeries / undergoing any form of IGM. basically they have an enlarged clitoris/micropenis/whatever you’d want to call it as well as a vagina & labia (possibly with their labia being fused or partially fused at birth), as well as a uterus and ovaries. from what i’ve gathered most people with CAH that have such anatomy (as in uterus, ovaries, vagina) are AFAB but i’ve seen in some sources that babies with severe CAH may be assigned male with doctors classifying them as having a bifold scrotum and undescended testes (once again don’t have my notes out but i know there’s an official term), as a lot of it is fairly arbitrary (like what is a micropenis vs clitoromegaly?)
growing up they always knew they were intersex and while they were assigned male, they were treated sort of inconsistently when it came to gender because they were always visibly intersex. their name, dara, is masculine in their dad’s culture (indian/hindi) but feminine in their mom’s (irish; they also grew up in ireland), which is another thing i intended to contribute to their gender ambiguity, because when talking to their indian relatives or other indian immigrants their name is read as male but to most people in their country their name reads feminine.
dara went through puberty fairly typical of their type of CAH (afaik, not an expert ofc!!) like a higher amount of testosterone than if they were perisex causing them to develop to look pretty androgynous once again. they do have multiple children and that lore is sort of Conplicated but basically they had their first kid a bit young on accident (i think they would be aware that it’s possible that they can get pregnant bc they would probably have a period, but i don’t know if they thought it was at all likely or not) and then planned a second pregnancy with the same father, then dara later had another kid (accident) with another person, and then had 3 kids with their spouse that are biologically dara’s but were conceived through IVF and with a surrogate (to be clear i know the surrogacy industry is dubious they are not meant to be a moral example)
for various reasons they were never a very active parent. currently in the story only their third kid (who’s about 15) lives with them, and he is in boarding school.. the eldest 2 were mostly raised by dara’s sister and the youngest 3 are with dara’s ex.
present day dara is a successful surgeon, there is a lot of universe-specific lore around that, just know they are pretty well-known. the universe mostly has real-world standards but there may be some suspension of disbelief. it is not a universe i created, this is a story multiple people are involved in, and in this universe there is a lot more flexibility when it comes to things like LGBTQ+ acceptance. so like will there be a world famous irish-indian intersex non-binary doctor/surgeon in the real world? maybe not, but that is not the most “unrealistic” thing happening in this story and while i want the representation to be accurate the universe is not realistic exactly!!
soo sorry this is long i tend to ramble but i guess i don’t exactly have questions but i am just wanting to check in with other intersex people and make sure i am going in the right direction. my main concerns are:
- i don’t want to imply all intersex people are androgynous, sexually ambiguous, or non-binary just because dara is. i do have other intersex characters who are not, i also am a nonbinary intersex woman who is not androgynous at all, but this character is for like a series of roleplays (like a community that does various short term rp’s) where i will usually only roleplay one character at a time so usually they will be the only intersex character
- a lot of the time people take characters that don’t present as cis women (dara is somewhat feminine but would be more likely to be viewed as someone who is not cis by most people) getting pregnant badly, especially because it’s associated with kink/fetish content and i’m not trying to yuck anyone’s yum or whatever but that’s really not my intention and i want to make sure that i approach it respectfully
- i’ll never intentionally add lore that’s biologically impossible but it’s hard to find info on how prevalent certain things are, and i don’t want to end up going with extremely rare situations to fit what i’ve already decided i want if that makes sense?
- i know CAH is quite common and since i don’t have CAH i wanted to reach out to the rest of the community for feedback! my experience as an intersex person (i am on the agenital spectrum as well as a few other traits although i dont have a specific diagnosis) doesn’t really help here bc dara is very different than me in a lot of ways, not just related to their condition.
of course not even talking gender there are things about dara that i will never relate to, like i am a white american and they are a wasian irish-indian w/ a hindu background. if you are desi, hindu, live in ireland, or are an intersex person of color id ofc love to hear feedback as well!!!
THIS IS SO LONG IM SORRY BUT to anyone who reads this all and gives feedback i greatly appreciate you taking time out of your day to both listen to what i have to say AND give me a response anyone who does so is awesome!!
I (Judas) consider myself to be on the CAH spectrum as of current so I think my input will be solid? not to say just cause someone's apart of a group they're automatically an expert yadayada
- ya salt-wasting is a subtype of the classic type of CAH (meaning symptoms are present at birth), and iirc salt-wasting is both cortisol and aldosterone deficient meanwhile simple-virilizing is just cortisol deficient?
- generally babies with CAH and virilized genitalia graded further down on the Prader scale where at first or second glance it might be taken as otherwise typical penoscrotal genitalia with cryptorchidism, and likely hypospadias (and/or persistent urogenital sinus with an exit hole closer to urethra size?) if less virilized. and they could get AMAB as a result but often a lot of those folks with CAH get reassigned female after anyway, because at least in a more modern medicine-involved situation the cryptorchidism would be investigated after a while since no balls dropped, and all those internal structures would probably get discovered anyway. even if that was neglected it's possible to be discovered again when menstrual blood comes out the urogenital sinus?
- personally I classify micropenis vs clitoromegaly as "smaller than typical phallus on genitalia assumed as penoscrotal" vs "larger than typical phallus on genitalia assumed as vulvovaginal". if it helps anybody. obviously idgaf about self-affirming labeling otherwise especially because ambiguous genitalia is... ambiguous. who'da thunk
okay now in regards to Your bullet point list just so we're clear
- just because you have an androgynous or non-binary or sex/gender ambiguous intersex character doesn't suddenly mean? you're implying all intersex characters are? and I'm genuinely wondering where you connected those dots? I would Reeeeaaaally would enjoy for people to firmly grasp Why exactly certain intersexist stereotypes in fiction are bad instead of this false surface level understanding of "androgyny + intersex = bad must avoid at all costs". first part is replaceable with what you like but still
- literally who cares. viewer's issue if they see intersex character being pregnant in a clearly non-pornographic lens and Make it pornographic.
- I mean I think it's plausible? I really don't see any glaring issues about it. whart evar
