I didn't like Make Your Mark, so I rewrote it. Information under the cut!
Chapter 1, Part 1 - Chapter 1, Part 2
Chapter 1, Part 3 - Chapter 1, Part 4
Chapter 1, Part 5 - Chapter 1, Part 6
Chapter 1, Part 7
This is four chapters, just like the actual show(so far). Each chapter is 8 episodes. Chapter 1 is just entirely build-up, but once we spring into Chapter 2, things heat up. This is much more of an adventure based written show than a slice-of-life town show. I wanted to delve a lot more into certain things while straying away from certain themes the show focused on.
Major Changes
Sunny is a permanent alicorn
Sunny is a holographical alicorn in Make Your Mark. In this, she's just an alicorn. I think it's unfair that only unicorn born ponies have the opportunity to become alicorns. So when it happened to Sunny in the movie, it felt like a great step away from the normal standard. But then it just felt unfair that the only Earth Pony born alicorn got non-permanent wings that she didn't always have the ability to access. It just felt like it was ruining the entire point of the Equality allegory. So in this rewrite she's just a simple alicorn.
Sprout will become a main character.
Sprout is a character I've always loved to psychoanalze. I believe the writers do not understand how amazing of a character they've created. With this rewrite, I'd love to explore more of his relationships with Hitch, Sunny, and especially Phyllis. Of course, this wouldn't be the main part of the show, but I'd like for it to be a part of it. I'd also like to explore a "Redemption Arc" of some sorts, diving deep into Sprout's self-worth and undeniable generational trauma.
Twilight is a more improtant character
I feel as if her cameo in the show is very brushed over. Getting a message from a well-known alicorn is a big deal, and I want her to be more of a guide to Sunny. Her appearances in the Prisbeam are going to be live conversations rather than left messages. Celestia, Luna, and Candence have all chosen to pass on. Twilight and Opaline are the last alicorns left(that we know of). So Twilight is going to be playing a bigger role in the defeating of Opaline.
Opaline is redesigned and more evil
Opaline and Misty's evil arc in the show tends to come off as anticlimactic, especially knowing Opaline as the alicorn who almost succeeded at draining all of Equestria of it's magic. I want to make her more scary, powerful and raise the stakes. Instead of her being Opaline Arcana, I've written her to be Opaline Luminary, a forgotten Princess of the stars. Jealous of her Sun and Moon counterparts, she ventured out to get the love and power she deserves. The dragon stone will also become a bigger part of the story. The dragon stone is powered by, as you know, dragon fire. Which brings me to my next change!
Dragons will become a key part
In the show it's mentioned that Dragons haven't been seen in Equestria for generations. And then the show skips over that and moves on. I want to delve into the disappearance of Dragons, Hippogriffs, Seaponies/Sirens, Griffons, etc. Dragons specifically have been continuously captured and enslaved by Opaline to power her dragon stone and herself. My ultimate goal here is to make Opaline a much scarier villain.
Misty Brightdawn will be evil
Misty's character was given a redemption arc in the show when, in reality, she was never really evil in the first place. Opaline is Misty's adoptive mother, I intend for her to encourage Misty to really want to rule all of Equestria alongside Opaline. I feel like for a character to have a satisfying redemption arc, they need to be truly evil at first. And though I do intend for her to receive that arc in the future, she will be a genuinely evil character first. No worries, she's still cute as can be, just evil!
LGBT Representation
What I always want for children targeted shows is healthy representation and also realistic representation. Shows tend to stray away from saying the words "gay", "transgender", etc, because those words have been poisoned by the public eye. There is nothing wrong with these words, and I want to be able to say them outright in this rewrite. I want to be able to represent it, crack jokes, and idolize it in a completely healthy way. Children aren't born prejudice, we teach them to be. And if kid shows give them realistic and great examples from an early age, there will be nothing unordinary about it.
Diversity/Racism allegories
As a person of color, allegories like this need to be done right. Even when it comes to oppressors breaking out of racist habits. I feel the show did a great job with representing cultural differences and learning how to grow out of being prejudiced. But after that, it sort of was forgotten about. They had one episode centered on Earth Ponies having trouble getting used to other species living with them, but it was dropped after that. Though this won't be a gigantic main part of this rewrite, I'd love to delve into it a little more. After all, racism wasn't solved after one big adventure. It took time for these things to happen. You have to teach, learn, and be willing to listen. I'm not saying I'm making anyone straight up still racist(besides Phyllis Cloverleaf kinda), but I want to represent reformed people still making small mistakes and being willing to listen and learn from them.
Elements of Harmony return
This is the main reason as to why this rewrite was named "Elemental". After Chapter 1, this show will mainly focus on the current main six venturing off and finding the broken shards of the elements of Harmony(as destroyed by King Sombra) and reconnecting with them. Finding themselves in those elements and working together as a group to strengthen that power once more. As the stakes have been risen with Opaline, they'll need these to take her down.
New Ponies and Characters!
While the current main six are venturing out, there will be new original characters and friends to meet along the way. Though most of them will play a minor role, I think it'd be fun for the main cast to adventure outside of Bridlewood, Zephyr Heights, and Maretime Bay. Those aren't the only three places in the world, and I'd like to explore different places too! I only plan for one or two to play supporting roles, but that really wont come in til Chapter 3.
That's all, folks!
I'm sure there are more changes I've forgotten about or skipped over, but no big changes will come to any of the characters you love. I'll simply take them and put them into new situations! I hope this is something you can all enjoy! It's still a very silly show at heart, but it's just way more adventure based! Chapter 1 is practically done. I have a few more things to work with, but I'm about 95% done with it. Plus, this rewrite will be done in script form! Though I'd love to put it into view, I'm more of a writer and less of an artist or animator. If this ever gets that big? Maybe one day! Maybe I'll record a little read through for funsies? But for now, I'll just be sharing the scripts :)
If there are any questions about this? Please ask! I'd love to get any comments, questions, or feedback from you all! I love G4 and G5, and I hope I can do them all justice. ♡
"A New Maretime Bay" CHAPTER 1, PART 1 (Civilians of Maretime Bay gather around the town's entrance. The entrance is blocked up by a long r
"A New Maretime Bay" - As Sunny and her friends welcome newcomers into Maretime Bay, we explore all the new places that have been built with it. Afterward, conflicts have risen within the town. Sunny and her friends must find a way to fix it.
This episode is very similar to the show's introduction. There wasn't much change besides new buildings and arguments. Though it's not a carbon copy, it's sort of similar and just a good series starter!
"Deputy Dilemma" CHAPTER 1, PART 2 (Izzy Moonbow wakes up! She does her little morning routine and trots into the kitchen, where Sunny is.
"Deputy Dilemma" - After Sunny's ineraction with Twilight, she's up all night worrying. Izzy takes her to Moonbow's Recycling to relax for the day. Now that Hitch is without a Deputy, he's having more trouble dealing with the town. His friends try to help him solve that problem.
This episode delves into more of the backstory of Twilight and the Unity Crystals! Explaining what Opaline's intentions are and where this series is heading.
"Queen Zipp" CHAPTER 1, PART 7 (The Zephyr Heights Castle. Zipp is in 'Queen Uniform' walking back and forth in front of Queen Haven and Zi
"Queen Zipp" - Zipp and Misty are training with their respective mothers. They are both put under specific challenges that they must overcome. Meanwhile, Sunny and Izzy examine the mystery of Hitch and Sprout.
The next episode is the finale! So this really pumps out the final leftover questions before we get to the crazy stuff. This chapter was just a starter. The next chapter is going to be something much much MUCH more adventurous.
