Okay, I think I’ll address these message by message. First of all, thanks for taking the time to read the story and provide feedback. I have no idea how long ago these messages were sent or if you’ll see them, bc I am the worst and basically abandoned this blog for too long. But, these were some thought-provoking criticisms and I thought I’d take some time to try and explain my thought processes for some of the things you found objectionable.
i wanted to give some critical criticism bc i found some pretty iffy messages written into the fic? and i guess i kinda want to address them. when i started reading the fic i thought it was a refreshing and very creative take for an au, i mean i love historical fiction, and this fic did a really good job in that aspect. but? i feel like finn is uncharacteristically annoying? like he is too nice and doesn't really have and antagonism towards rae which makes it feel like the romance is too easy?
It is historical, so the characters are not going to be direct analogues of those in the series. I try to think of their positions in the household relative to their motivations. Finn can’t “banter” with Rae the way he can in the pub in 1996, or really antagonize her. He’s her mother’s employee. So, it was a more delicate balance. I also feel like the conflict in this story isn’t so much a “will they or won’t they?” but a “can they or can’t they?” Subtle, but distinct difference from the original.
and like? there is a quote from the fic that where finn is telling how lovely he thinks rae is? but like obviously she doesn’t know it. and somehow that makes her lovelier???? like thats kinda horrible. like why would finn think rae is more attractive or more “lovely” bc she didn’t know it? and since when does a girl need to be told by a man that she’s lovelier bc she doesn’t know she’s lovely. i hope your following my train of thought. also?? i seriously thought finn was too wordy?
People and characters have “iffy” thoughts and problematic ideas. It’s Finn’s opinion that her not being aware of how lovely she is endears her to him further. He’s 18; he’s observed enough women at parties and dinners to draw some conclusions about vanity. It’s not meant to be a statement that vanity is bad, or girls shouldn’t wear makeup, or anything like that. It’s a boy, in 1930, trying to tell a girl he thinks she’s pretty. Boys today don’t do much better. I’ll cop to Finn probably being too wordy. I enjoy writing dialogue and it’s likely true that I made him too eloquent.
and basically every other character in the fic not involving the help are utter assholes? like callie (who i guess is supposed to be chole) and archie???? like i get it archie is gay????? but standing rae up and asking her to marry him??? and just writing rae as a character who can just be pushed around??? like that is not canon rae at all. and it felt like you just made rae into this indecisive pushover, while watering down her mental illness so you didn’t have to deal with it?
I don’t agree that the Rae in this story is someone who can be pushed around. She’s been sent away and given no treatment for her mental illness, so she’s developed some ways to cope. (I’m sure you’re right that I haven’t gotten all the mental illness stuff right. I’m not always 100% sure how her issues would have manifested themselves in another time and place, where she probably wouldn’t have had the same level of verbal abuse from classmates, but she might have had more harsh words from her mother and teachers.)
She’s dropped into this environment, still figuring out her place in the house, and worried about being sent away again . . . so she might not be quite as forceful as a modern day Rae. However, she plays poker, sneaks out to the jazz club, takes up an unladylike hobby, and refuses Archie in a pretty forthright manner, if you ask me. She chooses who she wants to spend her time with, even if it’s servants who her mother doesn’t approve of. I’ll agree to her being a little indecisive, but though she wobbles, she hasn’t been toppled over.
Callie is Chloe, and she has some pretty heavy shit going on. She can’t go to the clinic to take care of her problem, and yet she still gives Rae some friendly advice. Archie is petrified, and it makes him act like a jerk. Hassan has had some early traumas, as well, and had channeled his emotions into anger. It was not my intentions to make anyone inexplicably cruel. There is a bit of an Upstairs, Downstairs divide in personalities, I agree, but that was somewhat intentional. (Also, Karim is kind, Henry is kind, Archie’s mother is lovely . . . there is some balance in the universe.)
(wait is anna, chole? i dont even know) and lastly i want to make a point at her mom? like please make me understand what is her deal? like i feel like you made her into the awfully dull version of the step mother from cinderella, and even then the readers had even a little sympathy when it came to the jealousy she had for cinderella. like why does lilian hate her so much? and why does rae not care? I’m just really confused and while i spent the last 3 days trying to finish this fic.
I’ve said from the beginning that there’s a reason Lillian is so cold, and I hope to finish the story so you’ll find out why. Rae does care, but she’s been pushed aside so often, she’s trying not to get her hopes up. I’m sorry to hear that things were confusing. Obviously, there are things that were meant to be ambiguous or a mystery to be resolved later, but perhaps they weren’t as effective as I hoped.
i really wanted to write some critical criticism bc while i suck at writing i like to think I’m a bit decent when it comes to analysis. and im on anon bc i truly dont want anyone to take this personally it truly is critical feedback. i really like your fic, i think the creativity and the strive is definitely there i just think there are some things you can work on! peace out man!
Once again, thanks for taking the time to let me know your thoughts. I’m sorry you didn’t enjoy it more, but I will also say . . . I wrote this for free. (Also, the more common phrase is CONSTRUCTIVE criticism. I’m fine with critical criticism, but when sending feedback to other writers, you might want to temper your objections with a few more positives. And maybe fewer question marks. *shrug*)
Peace out to you, as well.
