Barely Digestible Fake News Throwdown: Tues 4/21/20
A. Fake News Your Best Friend’s Facebook Friend Told Her: The Chinese Government Secretly Bought Smithfield Foods In 2013 So It Could Raise Infected Pigs In Wuhan And Ship Them To The US And Kill Us All!
B. Barely Digestible Fake News*: Paula Deen Secretly Sold Smithfield Foods To The Chinese Government In 2013 So It Could Raise Infected Pigs In Wuhan And Ship Them To The US And Kill Us All! Also She Deep Fries Butter And Eats It!!!
Who are you going to believe here? Your best friend? Are you kidding me, her? Just because Drudge, the Daily Beast, and Trump all confirmed it? And her Facebook friend Insta’d it with a cute pic of a piggie holding a fortune cookie? Yes, those are Really Good Reasons to believe Answer A. is correct. Life lesson, buttercup – the real fake answer according to a Facebook Friend of someone at the CDC*… yep it’s Answer B. She deep fries butter and eats it. Which is disgusting. Life can toss you little curveballs like this at any time. How could you have known. Oh God how could you have known??? Because Answer B had four exclamation points while Answer A only had one. But mostly because it came from BarelyDigestible, and was vetted by the CDC*, that’s why. Back in 2013 when we first broke that story. Also she asked Matt Lauer to hit her with a rock. Because she felt guilty about the coming Wuhan Smithfield Pig Apocalypse. But you were too busy eating bacon and watching Southern Charm to listen.
