Or: Your camera roll while dating John Constantine
Warnings: One shirtless man lol // Part of the 𝐏𝐢𝐜𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐞 𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐟𝐞𝐜𝐭 smau series <3
Morph's thoughts: Blacked out doing this one tbh, another easy vibe to get from the get go and so satisfying to organise, johnstantine my love // to that john constantine anon, i hope you see this, i’m saving your ask for an actual written fic that is in my wips :p
pairing: john constantine x reader
summary: you texted john you had a problem. little did you know he'd come running assuming the wrong things
word count: 0.2k
tags: afab!reader, fluff, crack fic, suggestive/slight mature themes, drabble
a/n: got the idea from the scary movie meme :p
yo
need your help
my pussy's gone crazy
John nearly spat the alcohol he was drinking from the flask upon reading the messages you sent. The both of you were just friends but, the lines had blurred a couple of times in the past when the two of you seek more than just companionship.
Like a dog in heat, he quickly sent a text in reply — notifying you he would be coming over in a flash. Funny how a simple text as such could get him in the mood and raring to go.
The minute he arrived at your place, confusion was etched onto his expression when he saw the annoyance on your face and multiple red streaks across your hand.
Did they fight someone or something?
"Got your text. I don't think you wanted to shag..." He spoke, eyes scanning the other parts of you to see if you were hurt anywhere else.
"Just help me hold my cat while I try to give him his medicine," You went straight to the point.
"Y-your cat?" He replied, more confused than ever.
"Yes, cat! Did you not read my messages?" You let out a loud disgruntled noise with a roll of your eyes.
Immediately, he fished out his phone from his pocket.
SOS
[1 video attachment]
John felt as if cold water had just splashed onto him when he finally saw the shaky video of you chasing after your cat around the house.
"Oh my god. You actually thought I was referring to my vagina? Get your head out of the gutter, Johnny boy," You tutted with a shake of your head.
"Now help me will ya?" You motion with a tilt of your head towards your room to urge him to help retrieve your cat from under the bed.
(creds: @dxstoeskyvjbess for the divider!)
more john constantine fics here
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Pairing: John Constantine x !FReader
Rating: E
Warnings/Tags: Fluff, smut, p in V sex, sex instead of talking about feelings, drinking, John is a problem but we love him anyway
Word Count: ~2.6k
Summery:John shows up late, drunk after a year...and against your bet judgment... he looks damn good
The knock came at half past one.
She wasn't asleep. She'd been on the couch with the TV on low… a cup of tea gone cold on the side table. It was warm…she was in a tank top and her tiniest pair of short. Expecting no company. Nobody knocked at half past one.
Nobody except one person…
She knew before she opened it. But of course…as always… she opened the door anyway.
The rain was coming down in sheets. John Constantine stood on her doorstep, trench coat soaked through, hair plastered to his forehead, a bottle of something cheap hanging from his fingers. Swaying. Not much. But…enough.
His eyes found hers. Bloodshot. Too blue. God.. they were beautiful eyes…
Oh, for fuck's sake.
"Hey, love." His voice was raw, slurred at the edges. "Mind if I come in? Pissin' rain out here."
A year. They'd talked... sure. Letters. Phone calls that said… nothing. Stupid careful distance that neither of them had the guts to name for what it was. And here he was. Drunk and dripping on her welcome mat, looking at her like no time had passed at all. Rude
She wasn't sure whether to be annoyed or amused. Both of those feelings tended to come up when John was around.
"Well, hello to you too," she said.
He grinned. Even wet, even swaying, John Constantine could grin like he'd already won something. Infuriating. He leaned one shoulder against the doorframe and let his eyes wander... shameless... down her neck, her bare arms, the thin white cotton of her tank top that was doing absolutely….nothing…
His gaze came back up. Darker.
"Don't give me that look, darlin." His voice dropped, rough and warm under the weight of the whiskey. "You know you've missed this mess."
Goddamn those eyes. Those eyes had gotten her into more trouble than she had any business getting into. Prettiest blue she'd ever seen on a man who was…objectively… a terrible idea.
She had missed the mess. The whole goddamn mess..she would rather die however than ever tell him that…
"And what makes you think I'd let you in?" She leaned against the door. "It's late. What if I had someone here?"
He laughed. Short, rough. Rude. Stepped closer. Close enough that the cold coming off his soaked clothes hit the warmth of her skin. He smelled like rain and cigarettes and whiskey, and underneath all of it... just…John.
"Someone else..." He said it flat, amused, like it was a joke. "Right…. And I'm the bloody Pope."
"I might start fucking a demon if it keeps you away," she hissed.
But still…she moved to let him inside.
"Take your shoes off. You're soaked, and if you get mud everywhere I'll kill you."
He laughed... real…gravelly, the kind that came from somewhere low in his chest... and stepped past her into the warmth. The door closed behind him. The rain went muffled.
He kicked off his boots. Dripping on her floor. Already looking around her place like he owned it.
Like he'd never left.
"Careful now," he said, shrugging out of the trench coat. Water pooled on the hardwood. "Sounds like you're plottin' my demise already."
She moved past him into the hallway. She could feel him following. Close. His presence heavy at her back, she could feel the heat of him.
"Fucking a demon, though." His voice was right behind her. Low…easy. "Bit risky, innit. Might find they lack the stamina."
She didn't turn around…She didn't need to. She could hear it... that grin, that insufferable, devastating grin... in every word he said. Goddammit
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He was close. Too close. Standing in her hallway, dripping on her floor, smelling like rain and smoke and the particular brand of bad decision…
That was the thing about John. He didn't ask. Never. He just moved closer, and closer, and by the time you thought about whether you wanted him there he was already taking up all the air in the room.
His thumb found the bare skin above her waistband. Just resting there. Warm.
Fuck
"You're thinkin' too much, love," he said. Low, close to her ear. She could feel his breath on her neck. "Stop trying to figure out if this is a mistake."
It was a mistake. It was always a mistake. John Constantine was a rolling disaster in a trench coat, and she had let him into her house\when he knocked and she opened the door. Because she always opened the door.
"We both know mistakes are the only things worth livin' for," he murmured. And the worst part... the absolute worst part... was that he meant it. He was a liar about almost everything, but not about this. Never… about this.
She narrowed her eyes. Stared at him. She wanted to tell him to fuck off, to get out of her house, to never talk to her again. She wanted to say she loved him
But.. she didn't. She never did.
"God dammit, Johnny..."
Without particularly meaning to, she reached out and hooked her fingers into his belt loops.
Not pulling. Just... holding.
The grin dropped. Just for a second, underneath the charm and the whiskey and the whole John Constantine performance... something real.
He let out a breath. Dropped his forehead against hers.
There.
It lasted maybe two seconds. His eyes closed, his forehead warm and damp against hers, and it was the quietest he'd been since he walked in. Then he opened his eyes and the hunger was back, but different now. Sharper. His hands slid up her ribs under the tank top, his thumbs finding the underside of her breasts, and the sound she made...
Her breath leaving her lungs all at once.
He kissed her. Not gentle. Not careful. Never careful…. He tasted like salt and tobacco and cheap whiskey, and his mouth was hot and desperate and familiar in a way that loosed something in her chest she'd spent a year trying to keep tied shut.
Fuck.
She kissed him back. Her fingers tightened in the belt loops. He pressed her into the wall and she let him, and the rain was still hammering the windows and his hands were everywhere and she couldn't think.
That was it. That was her favorite thing about him. John Constantine could make every thought in her head simply... disappear.
He pulled back. Barely. His lips still touching hers, breathing hard, eyes blown dark.
"Take me to bed," he said. Rough. Not charming anymore. Just demanding.
A sound escaped her throat... small, involuntary, something she would deny later if he ever brought it up. She pushed him back toward the bedroom.
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He tried to pin her.
Of course he did. The second they hit the bed he was all hands and weight and tongue, trying to get her underneath him because that was John... take the lead, run the show, be the one in control. She could feel the urgency in him, his fingers fumbling with his shirt buttons, his mouth already on her neck.
She grabbed his wrist. Rolled him over. Climbed on top.
The look on his face…
Classic
"Mmm." She was grinning. She could feel it, the slow, spreading grin she got when she had him exactly where she wanted him. "You wanna see how much I missed you?"
She slid down his body. Slow. Deliberate. Past his chest, past the scars she knew by heart... every story, every stupid reckless thing he'd ever survived... past the trail of hair below his navel, down to the hard outline of his cock in his boxers.
She looked up at him with wide eyes.
She was not particularly self-conscious about her body. She was not particularly confident in it either. But she knew what she looked like from down here, on her knees, looking up. She knew what her eyes did to him.
She palmed him through the fabric. Nipped at the sensitive skin at his waist.
"Christ..." His head dropped back against the pillow. His hands found her hips, fingers digging in. "You're a cruel woman, you know that?"
"Mm-hm."
She pulled his cock out. Heavy and thick against his stomach. She ran her fingers up his length..slow..watching his face the whole time. Watching the way his jaw went tight, the way his breath came apart.
She teased the tip with her tongue. Let him feel her breath.
"Did you miss me?"
And then she swallowed him whole.
The sound he made... god, the sound he made. Choked, wrecked, not a word in it. His head slammed back. His hips jerked up. His fingers twisted in her hair, not pulling, not pushing, just holding on.
She took her time. She'd missed this... feeling him in her mouth, the way his whole body went taut, the way John Constantine, who had a smart answer for everything, couldn't form a sentence.
Finally shut him up
"Fuck..." Barely a word. More breath than sound. "Missed you... Christ, I missed you..."
She pulled off. Slow. A string of spit connecting her lip to the head of his cock. She climbed up his body, kissing the scars as she went. This one from a binding gone wrong. This one he got in Newcastle. This one he wouldn't talk about. She knew them all.
She reached his face and kissed him deep. Let him taste himself on her tongue.
Then she hovered. Right there. His cock between her thighs, her slick folds sliding against him, not taking him in. Just... teasing.
He groaned. His hands grabbed her hips. His eyes were blown, pupils swallowing the blue.
"Then fuck me like you missed me, John," she whispered in his ear.
His grip tightened.
Good.
She loved this. She loved when his mission was to break her.
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He flipped them.
One second she had him pinned, grinning down at him with his cock sliding between her folds. The next his hands were on her hips and she was on her back and he was over her, between her thighs, and the look on his face wasn't charming anymore. It was starving.
"Like I missed you?" His voice was a growl. Barely recognizable. He bit the cord of her neck, hard enough to make her gasp, hard enough to leave a mark. "I'm gonna fuck the thought of anyone else right out of your head."
She missed this. She missed how his accent thickened when he was like this, how his pupils blew out until there was almost no blue left. She missed the filthy things he said, low and rough against her ear, talking her through it like a prayer he didn't believe in anymore.
He pushed inside her in one long, punishing stroke.
Oh.
Full. Too full. The stretch of him after a year, the ache of it, the way her body remembered him before her brain caught up. Her back arched off the mattress.
"Please, John..." She moaned it into his neck. Barely a word. "Please."
He didn't ease in. Didn't give her time to adjust. He started to move... deep, hard, a rhythm that was less about finesse and more about claiming. His face was buried in her neck and his breath came in pants
"You like that? You like feelin' me stretch you open?" His voice was a low, filthy rumble, punctuated by the slam of his hips. "After a whole year of actin' like you didn't need this..."
She couldn't think. That was the point. That was always the point with him. John Constantine could take every thought in her head and scatter it, and all that was left was the weight of him and the sound of him and the wet, rhythmic slap of his body against hers.
More. Fuck. More.
"Look at me." His hand found her jaw. Tilted her face up. His eyes were dark, blown, and underneath the hunger there was something else... something raw that he would never, ever say out loud. "Look at me while I fuck you."
She looked.
This was their game. Neither of them was any good at feelings. Neither could say what they meant… that they cared. They fought, fucked, ran away from each other... only to end up right back here. His cock splitting her open and her begging for it.
Yours. Yours. Yours.
Something in him shattered. She felt it happen... his rhythm went ragged, his grip on her tightened, a sound tore out of him.
"That's my girl..." Low and wrecked and shaking.
He stopped making sense after that. So did she. It was just bodies and heat and the headboard hitting the wall and her nails in his back and his mouth on her throat.When she came it hit her like a train, her whole body clenching around him, her thighs shaking.
He followed her over. Buried deep, hips stuttering, his face pressed into her neck. She felt him spill inside her in hot, pulsing waves, felt his whole body go rigid and then collapse.
He stayed. His weight on her, his chest heaving, his breath hot and damp against her skin. His arms tightened around her…heavy…possessive like he was afraid she'd disappear if he let go.
Stay.
For a long moment there was nothing. Just breathing. Just the rain on the windows and his heartbeat against her ribs.
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This was her favorite part.
Not the sex... though the sex was good, the sex was always so damn good with him... but this. After. When John was just John. No charm, no performance, no walls.
She felt him soften inside her. She didn't move. She liked this... the fullness, the closeness, the way it felt like he was still hers even after the urgency had burned itself out. She'd keep him here for hours if he'd let her.
He huffed against her skin. Half laugh, half sigh.
"Think you've killed me this time, pet."
"Mm." She smiled. "Maybe we can just share a grave. Less digging."
He laughed. A real one, low and tired, vibrating against her throat. He lifted his head just enough to press a kiss to her temple... slow, soft, the kind of kiss that didn't match anything else about John Constantine. The kind he only gave when he thought she wasn't paying attention.
She was always paying attention.
"You're a greedy thing, aren't ya," he murmured. Sleepy. No bite in it. "Wantin' to keep me pinned here all night."
"Mm-hm."
He nuzzled back into her neck. His stubble scraped her skin. She could feel his heartbeat against her ribs, finally slowing down.
Stay.
Just stay.
A beat. Two. The rain on the windows and the warmth of him and the quiet.
Then she squeezed around him. Deliberate. Slow.
He groaned. His hips twitched.
She grinned.
"You gonna fall asleep on me" She said it light, musing "D id I tire you out?"
A sound came out of him... half snarl, half laugh. He lifted his head. His eyes were tired but there was something sparking behind them again, that insufferable, magnetic thing that had gotten her into this mess in the first place.
"Tire me out." He said it flat. Amused. Like she'd insulted him. "That a challenge, love?"
"Might be."
He shifted his weight. Ground into her, slow and shallow, and she felt him thickening again inside her. His hand slid down to her hip. His thumb pressed into the bone.
"Don't go complainin' tomorrow when you can't walk straight," he said. Low. His mouth close to hers, not quite kissing. "'Cause you asked for this."
Seems cold to you at first, but really he's just a simple man with a one track mind.
Always smells like cigarettes and aftershave.
Helps you when you lose the keys to your apartment and gives you his long black coat to wear when you get cold.
Was reluctant to you at first but after a while you became comfortable and familiar to him. He even ends up having you over so much that you practically end up moving in with him.
Knows you're shy so he always orders for you at restaurants or asks for help at the store if you need it.
Even when you get on his nerves he can't stay angry with you because your just way too adorable.
Seems rough around the edges but always shows up when it counts whether it be physically or emotionally.
Says he'll go to hell and back for you and actually means it.
Makes love to you like you're the only thing keeping him alive.
Seriously. He is a full on body worshipper in the bedroom and he will cling to you with his lips on your neck while he sensually pounds into you.
It's one of the few times where he actually says what's on his mind and the things he says range from sweet to absolutely filthy.
He can't lie though, he absolutely loves it when you're on your knees for him, looking uo at him with those love sick doe eyes of yours.
He's definitely a protector and even though he doesn't always show it in the way he speaks to you every day he loves you with all his heart.
John prefers more physical displays of affection. Always keeping a hand on the small of your back or his hand intertwined in yours.
Instead of calling you a pet name he'll just place a soft kiss on the side of your head or he'll give the top of your head a small pet.
Every now and again when he's had a tough day. Maybe too many rough exorcisms or he had to take a trip to hell and he actually allows you to see him more vulnerable side.
He comes in looking and feeling defeated before laying his head in your lap on the couch and you run your fingers through his hair as you listen for his breathing to become more even.
Sometimes if his day was bad enough, he'll even wrap his arms around your waist and bury his face in you stomach. It's very rare but it's one of the biggest signs of how at ease and comfortable he is with you.
If your day was particularly harder that normal he'll make you a strong cup of coffee with some Bailey's to help you relax and he'll draw you a nice hot bath with your favorite scented oils and soaps before he goes back to whatever he was doing.
If people watch the two of you day to day they might think John doesn't even love you because to the regular observer it apears as if he doesn't acknowledge your existence half the time.
In reality the two of you have your own silent love language that only you and him can understand. It's hidden in the way he glances at you or looks into your eyes briefly offering you a smile that wouldn't be noticed by anyone else. The way his fingers brush yours when your both reaching for the same item in the kitchen. It may not seem like much to others, but to John what the two of you have is more special and precious to him than anything else in the entire world.
Only when the day as wound down and you and John are snuggled up on the couch or in bed would they ever see how much he truly loved you and even then they'd be shocked to see how tenderly and protectively he held you and kissed your forehead softly. If they listened closely they may even catch him saying how much he loves you before watching you drift into a peaceful slumber.
Wakes up before you even on his days off and turns off your alarm so he can wake you up gently.
Always sets you out a clean pair of work clothes and makes you coffee and lunch for work before before leaving the house so you don't have to worry about it.
Always brings you with him if he has a job that's further away that might take a few days because despite his stand-offish demeanor he can't stand to be away from you for even a day.
Even if he doesn't say a whole lot, he would feel completely lost without you.
okay yall im gonna post the jason x editor!reader next followed by john constantine x reader cat series. anyone who is waiting for the dex cat series just know im slowly working on it now!
upcoming works for anyone keen to check out what i have planned so far!
p.s - i think i will make a separate post for a kinktober masterlist this year soon (and yes im gonna open up my request early cause my procrastinating ass won't be able to write them within the month 🥲)