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Kale with Bacon

So here we are with my first “What the Fuck Friday” ! I was a bit nervous about this one, since it was my first, and since really, I’m not the biggest fan of kale. I didn’t get on that bandwagon when everyone seemed to want to shove kale in every sing orifice that they have. You remember that right? Well... either way, I never found it lived up to the hype, but I was willing to give this bad boy a try. So here it is...

So I’m not going to lie... the result of this recipe was fucking delicious. But it has bacon... so how could it not be? It was so well balanced, and even though I had to resist my Italian urges to add more garlic, and was confused at first why I wasn’t adding any type of salt and pepper, I was so happy that I didn’t! So moral of this, do what it says and don’t think you know better then the book.

So I was good and followed the recipe instead of being an ass-hat thinking I know best but honestly, I found that it was a little vague. This was great for me, because I don’t really need someone to hold my hand and pat my ass to tell me I’m doing it right, but I could see how it may leave someone not used to recipes, or cooking in general feeling uneasy. So the recipe was easy and quick, but I can tell this book is not fucking around. You can make it a bit easier by buying pre-shredded kale, or already prepped shallots/garlic, but you fucking shouldn’t. Work on your knife skills. It’ll benefit you in the end. But I’m not your real dad, so I won’t tell you how to live your life.

So I shared this with two others, and everyone was able to get a decent portion. So it probably should make enough for 4, but... fuck that. We all liked this to different degrees. A bit of background though. Me, I’m a foodie. I like to taste the full flavors of everything in the recipe. I don’t want shit hidden, I don’t want to cover everything with a pound of butter and cheese. Yeah, I’m that pompous asshole who is just on the edge of snobby (not organic snobby, but still).

The woman I share with is a veggie lover (not a vegan or vegetarian or someone who does sex stuff with food). She was pretty pleased with this, and already wants me to make it again. She thought it would be great as an “Easter side dish” because the colors were vibrant, and thought it would “pair well” with a ham. I agree on double the porky goodness, and it is pretty. I would definitely double the recipe and use this at a dinner party. People would love this shit. People like “Barbara” and “Chad” and “Susan”. You know... people who were all about that kale fad. Or impress your parents and make them a vegetable when they come to dinner.

The dude I share food with is not a veggie lover. He is like... a food dumpster. Someone who is known for sitting down with just a loaf of bread... or eating a block of cheese like a candy bar. He prefers meat... and fully accepts that he uses vegetables as a socially acceptable mode of transportation for butter, cheese, and dressing. He found this to be “meh”. He liked it enough to eat it, and was very appreciative of the proportion of bacon. He could objectively tell that it was done well, and was a good recipe, but it wasn’t his go-to veg dish (not that he has one).

So all in all, this is a fucking great dish. It could be a real crowd pleaser for a variety of people, and it was simple enough that you could make it within 30-40 minutes (if you don’t prep at all before). I’m ashamed to admit that I’m converted to a “kale lover”. But bacon can convert people to all kind of things, that salty- fatty temptress. Give it a try if you are looking for something healthy... but not too fucking healthy.

I can’t wait to see what the fuck I’m cooking next! Happy Fucking Friday!