#mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm!!!

[concupiscence]

Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm!!!

[mommies-little-monster]

I just had the funniest dream!

So I was some sort of secret assassin or something, idk.  And I was picked up in this red truck by my friend, Leah, a young version of Nicholas Cage, and this kid from my high school class, Brandon.

Leah and Brandon got dropped off somewhere and told me and Nick to look for some food.  I didn't know what to do so I calmly stopped at a stop sign, pulled out two pistols out of no where, and aimed them right at Nick's face and yelled at the top of my lungs, "WHERE DO I GET THE FUCKING PIZZA!?!?!?!?!?!"

He, of course, started screaming and cowered back into the corner of his seat, "Don't shoot, shit, don't shoot!"

"Then TELL ME WHERE THE PIZZA IS!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"THERE'S A NUMBER AND ADDRESS ON THE SIDE OF THE TRUCK!!!"

I looked at the address, thanked Nicholas, and then drove down to the pizza place.  No one was around to tell me which toppings they wanted, so I figured I'd just make an intelligent guess.

While I was waiting in line, this woman who looked sort of like my mom was standing in front of me.  The line kind of curved so she was actually a few people ahead of me but I was up against the back wall of the place so she was facing me and talking to everybody.  Then she started talking to this little girl in a pink flowered dress.  "Hey there, sweetie?  Why the sad face?  Do you think you look ridiculous in that dress?"

The little girl just stared at her with a sad face.  Obviously this woman didn't know how to make a person feel good about themselves because the girl was happier before she asked her question.  I decided to help and leaned over to say, "I think your dress is very pretty.  I totally would have worn it every day when I was little."

Because of my awesomeness, the little girl smiled and then vanished.  Which was  pretty weird but no one questioned it except for me, who sat there like, "DOES ANYONE KNOW HOW THE FUCK THAT LITTLE GIRL JUST DISAPPEARED INTO THIN AIR!??!!?!?"

And I was ignored. But the woman in front of me started singing, which was really nice.  Except she was singing right in my face and after a while I felt really uncomfortable to be around her.

So I finally got to the window to order my pizza.  The employees were really nice and I remember thinking that I wanted to learn how to make pizzas like a badass, too.  Since I didn't really know what to order, I asked the chef for advice.  He suggested a cheese pizza that had two slices with baloney topping on them.  That sounded awesome, so I agreed and waited for my pizza.

When it was done, it looked awesome!  It was like a gourmet pizza!!  It was all fancy looking and the cheese was PERFECT and everything was just awesome!  In fact, it looked so great, that the chef followed me outside to show off his masterpiece to my friends by answering all their food questions!!

The thing was, they were so busy asking questions that they weren't eating the pizza, so I ate the whole thing myself.