Lost In The Shadows: Part Five
A/N: Sorry for the later up date, but this might be what happens more often than not because of my schedule now. If you want to be Tagged, either send an ask or comment on this or click on Taglist open.
Wordcount: 1,405
Warnings: were getting Fluff finally, Angst, drinking, mentions of death, past abuse, but I think that is all actually
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Throughout the trip Bucky learned what he could about Y/n before they left, the two of them in the few weeks, had a few drunk knights, together, but Y/n would come up with a way to block him out if he got too close. That was until the very last night of the trip the two of them had been drinking and watching a movie. Bucky wasn’t really paying attention, he was more interested in the tentative smile playing on Y/n’s lips as she watched the movie. The two of them slowly moved closer together, until soon his lips touched hers she looked at him with doe eyes, but then that hard mask began to creep up, but she downed another drink leaning into the kiss.
Y/n began to tug at his shirt, she ignored the part of her brain telling her it was a drunk mistake, and followed the part saying that this man was her husband. “Are you sure?” Bucky asked, pulling away for a second.
She looked at him with a frown arched on her face. “James, my ex-husband was like sixty, I haven't had good sex in a long time, so I think I’m sure.” She said it so uncaringly, before she continued, Bucky went along his own drunk mind telling him this was great progress for the two of them. Bucky began to unbutton the loose cardigan Y/n wore, with only shorts underneath, as he began to undo the buttons, Y/n seemed to catch up with everything, she just said and allowed to happen, she pushed him away before setting her glass down and running off to the room she’d been staying in the whole trip.
Bucky sat there as the movie continued playing in the background confusion consuming him, that was the last night they would have in a house alone probably, and he just knew about little pieces of her other marriage. Bucky was trying as hard as he could, to make it work, he thought tonight she was ready to give herself to him, and let him know her, but instead he felt like he might have ruined everything.
Y/n walked back to her room holding back her tears, just trying to feel numb, she got through the door, locking it behind when the first drops came and then the storm. She threw her clothes off her body as she looked at herself in the mirror, her father knew how to make it so her whole life would be spent in misery, he’s the who mangled her body, as a form of punishment one holiday season when she was a child, and then the deep cuts Henry left on her after the glass table incident, and then when he stabbed her after an argument leaving her to bleed out until the very last second. They made it so she wouldn’t be able or want to show anyone herself, she cried as she stared at the skin of her stomach filled with burn marks from the fire, that was when Peggy learned the truth about her father. Y/n had crawled into bed, closing her eyes not able to wait for the morning to come and be back and working, letting James do whatever he wants as long as he stays out of her hair while she is working.
Bucky was woken up by a knock at his bedroom door saying that it was currently six in the morning and that the flight leaves in an hour and a half. He dragged himself out of bed and got into clothes, for the flight, while he walked through the winding hall he noticed that people were swarming the house currently looking for anything the two could have left behind, he made his way into the kitchen that, Y/n stood in her long h/c hair was styled in waves down her back as she wore a pantsuit, the whole look made her look gorgeous, though he hadn’t seen her face but he doubt that it looked any less perfect, as she was looking down at her phone her heeled foot tapping against the tiled flooring, in impatiens or irritation.
He moved towards the coffee maker where each mooring Y/n would usually leave enough for him but when he noticed it was empty. “One of the guys snagged it a bit ago.” She explained, seemingly unapologetic, as she still looked at her phone. Bucky had enough time to make his coffee and drink it before they were on the boat taking them back to the mainland.
Y/n relaxed as she noticed James was asleep. She saw James as a sort of friend now, but last night she knew that was probably a mistake on both ends, but she blamed herself. Well, the really annoying part that she had to go to therapy for was blaming herself for it fully. She sighed, rubbing her palms against her eyes, when they got home she just wanted it to go as smooth as possible with her and James attended a few gatherings together. She got up walking to the back of the cabin where a small room with only a bed and a mirror against a wall sat. She laid down taking off the pantsuit and pulled out a t-shirt and shorts combo before she was falling asleep.
There was a knock on the door in the back. “Mrs. Barnes, it’s Andy.” Something was muffled out, Andy let himself in, closing the door behind him. “Y/n are you alright?” He asked as he moved to the bed.
“I’m fine, just tired.” She stretched out as she woke up. “Where’s James?”
“He’s already on his way back to the compound, you’ve been landed for a half hour.” Andy informed her.
Y/n’s eyes widened. “Shit, uh okay, let me get ready, again and then you can update me on what’s been going on.” By the time Y/n got to the compound that day the sun was long gone from the sky, as she walked through the dark halls her brows furrowed in confusion, she didn’t mind paying high power bills just to come home with lights on. She walked into the main living room, straight down from the foyer, she found James sleeping on the couch with a thin throw blanket on him, her brow furrowed wondering why he hadn't gone to a bedroom, she sighed. “James.” Her voice echoed on the walls, she shook him lightly, his crystal blue eyes opened.
“Y/n, what time is it?” He hummed out, in a low murmur.
“Late enough we both should be in bed, come on.” She began walking away, with a slight sway to her hips.
Bucky followed her up the stairs, confused. While he was at the compound earlier, he couldn’t find any bedrooms, that was until Y/n showed him a completely different wing of it. “I’m gonna assume they didn’t bother putting ourstuff into separate rooms so, I guess you can sleep in mine tonight but tomorrow, we’ll get you situated.” She seemed to have rabbled this out, she led me to a room, that had large dark curtains covering bigger windows, and then in the center of the room was a large Alaskan King size bed with black satin pillows and black bedding to match, the bed frame had flimsy thing tulle curtains around it, that seemed to move easily with grace as Y/n tied them to the towering canopy type bed frame, the bed itself over looked a conversation pit with a large TV where you could Watch it form the bed or the couch down below, Y/n, came out of the closet clearing her throat. “I’m gonna change in the bathroom, feel free to use the closet.” She said before making her way to a door next to the bed. Bucky found his suitcase along with all of his clothes mixed with Y/n’s in the closet.
Y/n changed into a simple pajama set instead of sleeping nude usual, when she walked into the bathroom she sighed, now realizing she’d forgotten to instruct the cleaners to put James’ stuff in a different room, so now all of his belongings were scattered throughout her room. It was nearing three in the morning and she just wanted to get tonight over with and tomorrow started.
