#mod foreigner

[fgo-husbandry]

My Liz will not be quiet!!! I have tried EVERYTHING to make her be quiet and she just Keeps! Singing! How do I make her stop!

With all due respect, this sounds like a skill issue. There is nothing wrong with Elizabeth Báthory’s music, and if you find it unpleasant at any point of the day, then you’re the problem.

~ Mod Foreigner

[fgo-husbandry]

Please help, my Sherlock Holmes is running around my house in desperate search of mysteries, he's already solved every crime novel in my house and watched through the entirety of Lost three times. I asked him to solve the mystery of socks going missing in the dryer, and that seems to have temporarily satisfied him, but I know he's gonna figure it out soon and I need a huuuge source of mysteries for when he does

Hello there! Have you considered a lobotomy? Recent studies have shown this makes taking care of a domesticated Sherlock Holmes much easier, and will improve his quality of life by up to 50%!

~ Mod Foreigner

[fgo-husbandry]

My Archer refuses to tell me his name??? Says he has amnesia but like… what kind of Bree dog servant is he???

Oh, I've heard of this breed before! That's a Nameless Archer, also known as a Red Archer. Don't worry, he doesn't actually have amnesia, so don't waste any money on a vet visit. That's just his way of deflecting the question until he's more comfortable with sharing parts of his identity with you! This'll probably happen when he's more settled in his environment.

Nameless Archers are shyer servants with a tendency towards aloofness that makes it harder for them to connect with others. I would recommend making friends with other owners that have cute girl servants for him to play with! Cute girls will put him at ease and make him open up to you more. Ignore any complaints about this he might have. Many specimens from this breed have 'tsundere' characteristics, so the more he complains, the happier he is!

Servants from the Rin line are especially effective, but if she's a cute girl, he's compatible! The standard Cu Culainn can be a good partner too, particularly if he seems like he needs more exercise.

~ Mod Foreigner

[fgo-husbandry]

DO! NOT! GET! A! RIDER! IF! YOU! CAN’T! LET! IT! ROAM! Riders need lots of room!! They are not apartment Servants!!!

They can be apartment Servants if you get into the conquering groove. Challenge your landlord! Stake your claim on their territory! What you don’t have, you can take, if you have the will to do so!

Don’t let your dreams be memes, everyone, attack your neighbors today!

~ Mod Foreigner

[fgo-husbandry]

So I've recently adopted a Johanna and was really excited to bond with my first servant, but it hasn't gone at all how I expected. She's been very distant and hasn't wanted to do anything that hasn't been popely or proper. I've been trying to encourage her to come out of her shell but I haven't been able to make it past that holy barrier. I've heard that it's better to acquire servants in pairs and worry I made a mistake only adopting one for my first time. Do you have any suggestions of another servant I can adopt to help her feel more comfortable?

Servants are very social creatures, generally speaking. There's some Servants who do better alone -- perhaps even thrive -- but most of the time, unless you can dedicate huge number of resources to securing them the 100% perfect environment, they're at bare-minimum going to need play-dates with other Servants to fill their social needs.

So, to suggest another Servant to look at for a Johanna...

What about Mephistopheles?

If you need someone to help you loosen up, Mephistopheles is your guy. He's playful and fun-loving, and is great at drawing other's out of their shell with his tricks, jokes, and japes. I know, I know, you might be worried about how a self-proclaimed demon and a Popess can co-exist, but despite what he says, Mephistopheles Servants don't come from hell; they were produced by Faust, and would properly be classed as homunculi.

Really, the whole 'demon' thing is identity-seeking behavior, born from their creator not being happy with the batch and calling them failures at being homunculi. Legend has it that Faust was tricked by the demon Mephistopheles, but the truth is that Mephistopheles Servants tread the line between labels, and the story is just that -- a fantastical tale. Too much like homunculi to be human, made by mortal man so not demon, but unable to be a part of society just like demons because they can't be human. A Johanna, with her gentle demeanor and loving acceptance of others, may be just what a Mephistopheles needs to be comfortable.

A Mephistopheles may understand Johanna too, since she herself is more of a legend than a real person, defined by her saintliness and holiness rather than her own physical qualities. It's debatable if a real 'Johanna' ever existed at all! So much like Mephistopheles, she exists in a space between fiction and reality, struggling with her identity. This is probably the source of her aloof behavior; it's likely she herself doesn't even know who she is or wants to be.

Therefore, try a Mephistopheles today! Who better to assist your Johanna than a Servant who has forced the world to accept him as a demon-clown, because he wants to be more than he was created to be? And who better to pair with Mephistopheles than a Servant who does, deep down, actually like a few... explosions...

...huh.

...did I accidentally just give helpful advice???

~ Mod Foreigner

[fgo-husbandry]

PUTTING STUPID COSTUMES ON YOUR SERVANT THAT CHANGE THEIR CLASS IS JUST SO FUCKED UP!!!! Who even does that to their servant?!?

Tell me, anonymous voice in my ear, who hurt you? Why do you hate fun? The true joy of the Master is dressing their charges in fun outfits that enhance their potential to murder. Have you never wanted to see your Servant frolic with their companions at the beach? Have you never wanted them to manifest as the most broken Arts looper known to man?

There’s a company that produces costumes which allow Ushiwaka to form gay polycules and sing. Is this not what our forefathers died for?

~ Mod Foreigner

[fgo-husbandry]

So I live somewhere like... super rural. It takes me 45 minutes to drive into town from where I'm at, but I'm lonely and I'd really like a servant to come help out around the homestead. Do you know any servants who'd enjoy being out and about for most of the day with me?

Oh, I’ve got the perfect choice for you.

Mephistopheles!

Honestly, what’s not to love? They’re friendly, cheerful, vibrant, and capable of making any room explode into laughter! With a Mephistopheles around, you’ll never be bored, and your workday will pass in a flash! Don’t wait, get the most loyal forever-friend today.

~ Mod Foreigner

[fgo-husbandry]

Hiiiii, hey, I have to ask, is a Saber a good beginning Servant? I guess, like, an Artoria has to be easy to take care of, right? ... R-right?

Well, aside from the large appetites, kingly pride, and tendency to sacrifice their identities for the good of their people, Sabers are rather docile and easy-to-manage. They generally won't thrive in environments where they have to ignore the suffering of the weak, but if you can keep up with their need for exercise and give them a bit of heroic enrichment, they're definitely a solid first choice.

But, I wouldn't say they're the most beginner-friendly Servant. My vote instead would be...

Mephistopheles!

A bright demeanor! Good with children! Full of energy with a soft cloak to cuddle! A Mephistopheles will brighten every day and bring you countless hours of fun and enjoyment. Just ignore that ticking sound you'll eventually notice in your house. It's not a problem.

~ Mod Foreigner