#modhermes

[greekgodsforsocialjusticearchive]

Hey everyone, I'm on a break but in light of everything that's happened lately, I'd like to remind everyone of a few things:

He killed men and women. Yes, he posted a video outlining his misogynistic views and intent, but he did not kill "seven women". Numbers are varied at this point, but last I saw it was four men and three women. No matter the exact victims, both men and women were killed and we shouldn't erase any of the victims whose lives were lost.

Rogers wasn't an MRA. He subscribed to beliefs aligned with PUA, or "pick up artists"--if you know of the Red Pill subreddit on reddit, they're those sorts of people. Some MRAs are also PUAs, but there is no evidence that Rogers was actually an MRA.

The media sensationalizes everything, and especially so soon after the event, we cannot be certain that what is reported is actually true. No one really knows what was going on in Roger's mind, but I'm sure more details will come to light this week. It's important to maintain some skepticism and not believe everything you read.

Most of all, be respectful of the lives lost and affected by this horrible man. Lives are not props for your political needs, and that doesn't just go for feminists--anti-feminists and non-feminists, we can be upset at those who use these deaths as props, but we must also make sure we do not do the same thing and use it as props to hate feminists. We do not justify what he did or what happened, but I've seen a lot of misinformation going around.

-Hermes

[greekgodsforsocialjusticearchive]

Hey can one of the trans or non binary mods help me out? Im having an extremely serious bout of dysphoria, and I know it's not social justice related, but how do you guys cope when you feel that way?

When you're feeling this way, I think it can be really tempting to try to separate from your body in a way, but I feel like that could lead to dissociation so you must be careful. What I've been doing lately for my anxiety and what translates well to dysphoria is guided meditation and visualization. You can go on youtube and type in "guided meditation" and find one of the length of time you need. It helps you find a sense of calm and peace within you. In addition, close your eyes and visualize your future, maybe a time when you can transition or something like that, or just imagine something that makes you happy. I'm sorry that's all I've got right now, and that we couldn't get to this sooner.

-Hermes

[greekgodsforsocialjusticearchive]

I totally agree with the anon who was talking about canon female love interests (of male characters); it's fine to argue that they might be bisexual, though sometimes that's stretching it pretty damn far (I have a great deal of bitterness towards the Sirius/Remus ship for that reason, though I'm sure many people disagree). However, the female love interests that "get in the way" of uncanon M/M ships are often totally unfairly vilified by fandoms, and that's just gross and uncalled for.

I agree. Especially when fandoms bring real people into it, whether it's the actresses who portray these characters or just the significant others of famous people (apparently the One Direction fandom is very guilty of this)

-Hermes

[greekgodsforsocialjusticearchive]

I really agree with you, Hermes. For example, Misha from Katawa Shoujo canonically has feelings for a girl, but if I recall correctly, never states she's only into girls. Thus, I think she is bisexual.

Oh wow, I missed this one, sorry! <3 But yeah, I tend to do the same thing. I know there are characters confirmed to be monosexual (ie. shown to be attracted to women and not to men explicitly), though I cannot think of any right now, but most of the time characters could easily be bi. You give a great example of a same-gender attracted character who could be bi too!

-Hermes

[greekgodsforsocialjusticearchive]

I see a lot of posts saying that homophobic/racist/transphobic/etc people can never be "good people"

I was thinking about it today, and I kind of formed some thoughts. I'm not defending any of these prejudices or behaviors, of course, but looking at the issue from another side.

What makes a good person? No one is truly flawless, no one is without their prejudices or mistakes or wrongful things said. We shouldn't excuse bad things that people say or do just because they did good things, but I think there are more than just "bad people" and "good people". 

We are not racist, homophobic, transphobic, whatever by nature. We are taught, intentionally or unintentionally, through other people, experiences, media, society, everything around us. No one comes into the world with prejudice in their hearts, it comes from somewhere. People aren't hateful by nature.

People can and do change. What you say as a teenager doesn't define who you are as an adult. Hell, what you say one month doesn't necessarily reflect the views you have one month later. We as humans are constantly growing and evolving or changing. People may fear the unknown but face it and find it's not so bad. People may grow up with prejudices then find that they are not true. We also have the ability to change for the better.

Putting together these points comes my message: you cannot judge a "good person" or a "bad person" from checking off a list of prejudices they have or don't have at one point in their lives. Be empathetic. Remember that people often get their ideas from other people, from how they were raised, from simply not knowing. You don't have to excuse those who do you wrong or go through life passive to those who insult you, just simply look at it from another perspective. After all, each and every one of us has said things we regret, has held prejudiced beliefs, has done someone wrong and later recognized our mistakes. That doesn't make me or you or any of us "bad people". I know I wouldn't want someone to judge me based on what I said five years ago. I wouldn't want someone to judge me based on the prejudices my parents instilled in me from a young age.

 If you can honestly say you have never held a prejudiced thought, never once said something mean, never once changed your mind on an issue, go ahead and judge us all. But more likely than not, you're human like the rest of us. You are complex and multi-faceted and worthy of basic respect.

-Hermes

[greekgodsforsocialjusticearchive]

I think one of you mods should just make a big post showing how people in other countries: women have it worse and white people are treated second class. Just to try to spread that SJWs and their American centric ideals are wrong and toxic.

I think everyone could use the perspective. I don't like to pull an appeal to worse problems, but I would definitely like to challenge American-centric views on racism, sexism, etc. 

-Hermes

[greekgodsforsocialjusticearchive]

I don't really understand non-binary. Like, they feel like no gender or neither gender ? I don't really understand how you can feel like a gender, it'd make more sense if you meant it in a you don't feel like the gender stereotype way but I know that's not what they mean. I'm not so sure about it. I've never heard anything like non binary until tumblr, but everything else like trans, all the sexualities, and gender being different from sex I knew all before I joined the site.

For me, it's the nature of my dysphoria. I sometimes feel very dysphoric, as if my body is the wrong gender, and other times I don't. Because of this, I wouldn't call myself a trans man because I don't necessarily feel the need to transition to a male body, but rather to one in-between. 

-Hermes

[greekgodsforsocialjusticearchive]

Have you seen that post about Mary Sues being a shaming term for girls for trying to write?

ugh YES. I hate it so much. Mary Sue isn't a misogynist term (there's even a male version, Marty Stu!), it's not saying that they're bad characters cause they're powerful women, it's because they're flawless characters which everyone knows is boring! When I was younger and fancied myself a writer, knowing about Mary Sues pushed me to make more flawed and creative characters and made me a better writer. It's not saying "this character is an attractive, strong woman so she's a Mary Sue", it's saying "this character is way overpowered and has no flaws, she's a Mary Sue".

-Hermes