HI! I MISS Y'ALL. TELL ME A STORY. And something nice. And your favourite pie.
So I almost died on Thursday.
My roommate has a cat, and because he’s a cat, he’s an asshole. Only he’s decided, lately, to be more of an asshole than usual. So he’s done things like go to the bathroom in random spots.
Thursday morning, I wake up and go about my usual morning routine - which consists of stumbling, bleary eyed, towards the bathroom when I first wake up. Unfortunately, the cat has decided that one of the places he’s going to pee that morning is right in the middle of the linoleum bathroom floor.
So I step into the bathroom, and for a fraction of a second feel something cold and wet before my foot starts sliding across the bathroom floor. My other foot, planted firmly in the hallway carpet, of course does NOT move, leaving me to suddenly - and without any real coherent thought at this point - doing a unplanned split.
Luckily, I did not, in fact, die, and only suffered a grade 1 hamstring pull and am feeling better now, but for a second or two, on a dark and groggy Thursday morning, I was 100% sure that I was going to die, and it was going to be the fucking cat pee that killed me.
(which is why I’ve informed my roommate that if I ever DO die to something embarrassing like cat pee that he’s to tell everyone I died heroically saving innocent houses from burning orphans)
Public libraries exist, and will continue to exist, even in these tumultuous times.
Probably pumpkin? Though Shari’s (a restaurant chain here in the states) does an absolutely crackerjack Oreo cookies’n’cream pie.
