#MomentofTransparency and #TransformationThursday LONG POST WARNING These last couple of years have been crazy for everyone. I know this because they've been crazy for me, too. I've heard the sermons and lessons for years about how God may have to remove some things out of your life to grow you and shape you. But, when it actually started happening to me, it hurt me BAD. I was fighting it for the longest by trying to hold on to friendships and relationships that were dying or had died. I went to counseling crying and not understanding. Then God guided me back to school and my eyes were opened in so many ways. Regent is a Christian school. As we were learning about areas of our fields of study, we were learning how to apply these lessons and live and move as Christians in our fields. In my first semesters I was having to do a lot of self evaluation and re-discovering who God designed me to be. And as I looked at old journals and old sermon notes I remembered those lessons of pruning and was convicted. I realized at that point that I needed to stop fighting it and start accepting it. Now my inside was being worked on, but it didn't match my outside. After being depressed about what was going on in my life, I found myself at the heaviest weight I've ever been in my life. And it was effecting EVERYTHING (mentally, physically, and emotionally). My doctor kept trying to encourage me to have weight loss surgery. And I don't knock anyone who does it. I'm just scary and don't believe in having surgery unless I absolutely HAVE to. My doctor felt it was a HAVE to situation because we were trying to figure out ways to manage my blood pressure. The medicine I was on originally was causing my hair to fall out and making me gain weight. So I was frustrated by the endless cycle. How can you encourage me to lose weight but prescribe something to make me gain weight? My conspiracy side kicked in wondering if she was going to get a "cut" if I had the weight loss surgery she kept pushing. So, I changed doctors, expressed my feelings and concerns. She changed the medicine but, of course, said losing weight could help to manage it better. https://www.instagram.com/p/CeTg5vjL8FV/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=
