Does it ever get easier?
I’m 27 years old. I feel like I should already have my shit together, I just.... really really don’t feel like I do.
It makes me feel trapped AF the fact I know I will have to work every M-F, for the rest of my life just to keep paying my rent, eating food. I love my job, but it pays shit, I know it will always pay shit, so is this the only thing life has to offer? Working just to be able to live a little while longer?
I miss things I have never had. I want to work with my hands, I want to grow things, I want to plant, I want a garden, I want to take care of my cows, my chickens. I know quality of life has “improved” but why do these improvements feel so empty? It feels to me like making a living is a constant ball of anxiety I feel in the bottom of my stomach, that I have to pretend I don’t constantly feel just to keep going with my day. Will it ever get easier? Will I ever feel like money isn’t a constant worry, nagging like a fucking fly around my ears? Because it sure doesn’t feel like it. Capitalism fucking sucks, we’re all just stuck in this money-making wheel just to survive, everything is so expensive I can’t even breathe. My stupid apartment, the groceries I like, turning on the light, drinking water... everything quantified. Everything expensive.
