A/n: I haven't written anything in so so long. Like a year long. This is a fluff fic erm... OKAY ENJOY
Gentle love?
Gentle love.
He's 27 now, almost 28.
28
He's the age that his mother will forever be, and after 18 years, he's found that feeling he's been desperately craved, he's mistaken for trying to fill that hole in his chest by the only thing he's understands; pain.
The angry 13 years old boy with tiger stripes on his wrists would be baffled if he'd find out that the emptiness he feels is that yearning for love.
The stoic 20 years old boy with knitted eyebrows will scoffs if he's told him that he needs to open his heart bigger to fill it up.
"what is grief if not love with nowhere to go?" his woman had said while tracing his scarred palm with her perfect fingers.
Perfect.
She's perfect.
Who would've known that he'd find the missing half of his cursed soul in a cursed hotel? Not him.
"where'd you go, handsome?" you asked, sweeter than sugar cane, quieter than the night outside of her shitty apartment.
Just the sound of your voice had crafted a small, soft smile on his otherwise tight lips. "I'm right here, jaanu", " Kid would answer just as quiet as you, reaching behind, taking one of your hands out of his curls, planting a kiss on your palm ignoring the distinct smell of coconut oil and honey. By pure muscle memories you flatten your palm out and placed it on his cheek.
"you're getting all the oil on your lips and cheek, silly." you chuckled.
and right there and there he'd understand that half of his heart had spilled out of his chest and now free to roam the world in the form of his lover.
Kid's nights used to be filed with snoring men and loud voices of his mother's screams.
Now it's this, you sitting on the couch, him sitting on the floor between your legs, eyes pinned on whatever movie you decided to turn on, your fingers that are red with henna along with small ring he'd bought with whatever money left in his pockets wrapped around your ring finger that are willingly buried in his curls, working their magic.
A determine look on your face as you massages your homemade hair oil into his scalp.
He'd never know that the smell of the coconut oil and honey that hits his nose when he first met you would stay in his life for this long, and he's wish upon all that he knows for it to stay forever.
"lost you there again, bandhar." you said softer this time, he knows what that means, concerned. He almost whined when your fingers left his hair, he knew that you're done.
He shakes his head, held your hand and continue to do so as he settles to sit next to you.
"thank you." he whispered, kissing your palm and pushes his cheek against it next. You smiled. "you know I love playing with your hair. This is purely for my pleasure." you joked.
He didn't laugh, he shook his head. "not that, you saved me, you found the heart that I lost all those years ago, you.." he stopped, he realised he doesn't have the words to let you understand just how much you meant to him.
"I love you" you replied, you understood, you always do.
He smiled and leans in to kiss you. "I love you much more than you can ever imagine," he whispered, with his forehead pressed onto yours, colloused thumb softly rubbing on your chin.
He felt it again, the love you have for him spill onto him just by your hands, your hands in his curls, your hands on his cheeks, your fingers in his palm, your hand on his chest.
"I love you," he repeated, he'd laid down on the couch, pulling you with him, the desire to be close to you is too strong, you can't be closer, the only way to do that is to open him up and crawl into him, you've laid your head on his chest, eyes back on the screen. You're watching the TV and he's watching her.
"I love you," he repeats again.
"I love you" he repeats, not giving you a chance to reply.
"I love you," if you've forgotten.
"I love you," if you've doubted him.
He sighs and kisses your forehead. "I love you,"
You softly chuckle and move up.
"i love you," he said again, you had leaned in to kiss him to shut him up, hand caressing his cheek as you do so. He thought he'd die, he thought the love in his chest is too much it'll burst open and kill him.
"I love you too," your voice silenced him.
He smiled as you went back to lay on his chest, finger tracing circles on his chest.
A/n: uhhhh idk if I like it as much as coconut & honey but enjoy!
'you should never lie'
his mother once told him with angry eyes that he hated to see so much. When Kid was just 8 years old, he had lied to his poor mother about going to play near the river just in front of their humble home, instead, going off far away into the market because he wanted to buy the bangle she's been eyeing for a while.
He's been a proper good boy, he swore, he helped Mr Deepesh, their next door neighbour, by cleaning up his chicken coop for money. He didn't mean to worry her.
'You shouldn't lie to the people you love, even when you think it's for a good reason, a lie is a lie,' she had worriedly say while hugging her boy to her chest.
He didn't think those words would haunt him 20 years later. Kid didn't even mean to lie to you, he didn't even mean to fall for you, but he had, and his lies only bury him into a deeper hole.
"Bobby? You're ready to go?" your sweet voice snapped him out of his thoughts, the beer he's been nursing while you pack up the kitchen still in his hand.
"yeah," he nods, giving you a small smile. You wrapped your hands around his arm so easily as if you've been doing it for years, in reality it's only been 4 months.
4 months of lies
4 months of love
His mind wandered back to how he got here, with your hands wrapped around his arm, heading for your motorcycle. Was it that night? When he first entered his shift, he noticed you eyeing him. He didn't think much of it, you were a chef after all. You could've just been curious about the new staff.
Was it when he keeps staring at you too? Unintentionally?
But it's definitely when you start smiling at him. He's never had any other thought than revenge then this.. You... You happened.
"hey handsome, where's your mind travelling to?" you asked so sweetly he didn't even mind. Kid didn't know much about himself but he knew he hated when anyone else interrupt his thought process, not you though, never you.
Kid smiled and shook his head. "nowhere, right here," he covered it up with a quick peck on your lips and took your helmet from you, placing it onto your head and pinning it on for you, then with a stupid smile on his face he lifted the visor to boop your nose. You chuckled.
Fuck, is this love? This overwhelming feeling over the slightest thing you do?
He put on his own helmet and got on the bike, waiting till you get on too. His waist never felt so empty until you wrapped your arms around them.
4 months ago he didn't even have his own room, now he's heading to "our store" getting off the bike and ordering "the usual" and going straight to "our spot"
He doesn't even know who he is anymore.
Your kiss on his lips brought him back to reality.
"congrats, baby, on making it to VIP floor." you said with a smile on your lips.
If only you knew why he wanted to be on VIP floor so bad.
"thank you, jaan," he whispered softly, arms around your waist, swaying left to right lightly as if dancing to a song. He leaned down and kissed you again. "what's this? What's wrong?" damn you, you always somehow knew, your finger tracing his eyebrows as if to pull the frown out of his face.
He didn't know what to say. Tell you what? He's not at all who you think he is? He's plotting to kill a man? Burn the hotel? Kill one of the most influential fucking man in India?
"hey, you can tell me, Bobby, I'm here," you called that name so lovingly he had to physically fight from flinching.
In a perfect world where he isn't such a coward he'll open his mouth and tell you the truth but the truth is he's just that, a coward.
"i swear it's nothing, jaanu, just... Tired," he smiled and hugged you burying his nose in your neck, scared that he'll forget what you smell like once you find out who he is.
Your fingers snaked into his curls, playing with them like always, like it's yours, like he's yours.
"I've got you, always," you whispered into his ear, planting a soft kiss after.
He hope you meant that
Because after almost 2 months of disappearing, hiding from the police in the temple with the hijras, he's back, at your house, knocking.
You opened the door, you looked great but your eyes looks almost dead, somber.
"jaanu," that's all he could whisper, seeing you again is...
You tried to close the door but his reflexes made him able to hold the door open.
"please, please just let me explain myself"
You looked at him and scoff. "explain what? I don't even know who you are, what could you possibly say to me? What was your plan? Kill Rana and pin it on me or something? Is that it?" your voice gets shakier and shakier by each sentence, your grip on the door loosen. Kid quickly shook his head.
"no, no, never, jaanu," he had wrapped his arms around your crying figure, his body is half through the door, cupping your cheek and tenderly caressed your tears away.
"I trusted you! I loved you!" you cried out and all he could do was hold onto you while you smack your fists on his chest again and again.
"I know, i know," he whispered, he lead you inside as you limped against him.
On the couch he held you, tighter than usual, he lets you cry onto his chest, not caring about the condition of his shirt.
"you didn't call, you didn't explain, you just vanished, I thought you fucking died!" you cried out.
"I know jaan, I'm sorry, I'm sorry" thats all he can offer. He kept whispering apologies and sweet nothings into your ear until you end up falling asleep on his chest. He laid you down on the couch, planted a soft kiss on your forehead and went to the kitchen. Skillfully manoeuvring through your kitchen, making a meal as he's been there countless of time. He didn't keep track of time, only glancing at the clock when he hears a croak of your voice calling his 'name'.
"I'm here jaan," Kid said walking towards the couch to see your eyes teared again.
"I thought you left again," you said with a whine in your voice, he sat next to you, arm pulling your towards him to kiss your head. "I'm here," he repeated.
"I went to make you some food, it's pretty early I don't think you've eaten," he explained, you simply nodded.
"I... I want you to explain to me who you are and what's happening." you said voice beyond tired.
"my name isn't Bobby,"
"yeah no shit," you scoffed, he only nodded, he's glad really, you're letting him hold you, touch you that's a good sign, right?
" my name... Is Kid. I worked at Queenie's hotel because I'm... Plotting revenge on Rana and Baba shakti. For killing my mother." his voice grew quieter and quieter. The obvious pain in his voice when he mentioned his mother.
"my hands," you looked at those hands, his scarred hands he meant, the ones you would plant kisses on after a night of passion, the ones you loved so much. "they got hurt when I tried to put out the fire my mother was set on... By Rana Singh," he said, face grew harder, voice turned colder.
You stared into his eyes. "Kid," you tried calling his name. He looked at you, all attention on you as if nothing else matters.
"I swear I didn't mean to rope you into this. I didn't mean to hurt you, I couldn't... I couldn't stay away from you, I tried. You consume me, my thoughts, I've never thought of anything else but revenge all my life and you walked into it and make me feel alive again. As if I could have any other life than just death after revenge. I never wanted to live but when I hold you I feel this fear of death that I've never felt before. Understand that all was real, my feelings for you was real, is real," he begged, his hands on your cheeks again.
"but you tried to kill him anyway, why?"
He shook his head. "when I saw him. When I saw that bastard I lost it. Why does he get to live his life while my mother is ashes somewhere on the forest floor?" he grunted, face angered.
You do what you always does, your finger start tracing his eyebrows, his face visibly soften. Like he could breathe again. He took your other hand and kissed it, leaning into your touch. He had been craving you, and you knew. "you're going after him again aren't you?"
"yeah" was all he could breathe out.
You sighed but you understood. The rage he has, it's all he knows.
"will you come back?"
His face lighten. "you want me to?" he asks, hopeful.
"always, always come back to me."
"but I'll be a fugitive by then," he said worried, he's not sure worried that you'll change your mind or that you'll be a fugitive too if you chose to follow him.
You shook your head. "I don't care, come back, we'll run together, I rather not live without you by my side. But Kid.."
"hm?" he asked, looking at you intently with your hands on his. "don't lie to me ever again. Ever." you warned.
He nodded his head and pulled you into him. "never, jaanu." he kissed you deeply, deeper than he ever did that day, lead your body the way he missed. He devoured you full that day, passion spilling into physical touches. He need you to understand his love. He needs you to scream his name. His real name.
didn't know what to tittle this so it's based in the song I listened to while I'm wriitng:
He can't breathe
He can't breathe
Fuck!
He can't fucking breathe!
In through the nose. Out through mouth, Kid.
Breathe, you big baffoon! You've done this before, a million fucking time, BREATHE!
"Fuck!" he raged next to the dumpster, his throat is closing up. He feels his lungs falling apart. Stupid cigarettes!
Fuck this can't be it, this can't be how he goes.
He looks down at what he assumes to be his hands, are they? They're too blurry, shit is it his hands shaking making them blurry? Is it his eyes?
He needs to breathe
He needs to fucking breathe
He needs to
He needs..
You
He needs you
Kid reached into his back pocket, feeling a cold metal object against his fingertips he just fished them out. Hoping that it is his phone. By pure luck he tried searching for you contact number, pressing the phone to his ear desperately after
He hears it ring
Fuck what time is it?
How long has it been?
A month? Two months? Since he told you his stupid desire to seek out his mother's murderers?
'you can't do this to me, Kid. We fought so fucking hard! Remember? The orphanage, the poverty. We were homeless at some point! You can't-you can't up and leave when we're finally stable like this,'
he remembers your frantic eyes searching into his empty ones. You're desperate to keep him in this life, this dream you two built together. The guilt of surviving yet not avenging his mother's death left a heavy feeling in his chest, so heavy he spent weeks on the bed, barely leaving, eating, taking care of himself. It was you, you took care of him.
And he decided to get on his feet and throw everything out for revenge.
Ungrateful bastard.
He hears the phone rang. Why is it still ringing? You wouldn't have the heart to leave him hanging... Right?
'I swear, Kid, I won't search for you if you step out of that door.' fuck that's right, you swore-
"hello?" your voice drowsy with sleep. He can imagine it, your hair spilled everywhere on that floral pillow, sleeping in one of his big shirt with only some shorts under. Eyes barely open.
"hello? Don't play with me right now, I'm sleepy as fuck." the irritation in your voice makes it clear that you didn't open your eyes to see the caller ID.
He called your name, fighting against the dryness of his throat.
"Kid? What time is it? Are you okay? What's going on?" he could hear you waking up by each word you said. "why are you breathing like that, are you hurt?"
He didn't even realise the wheezing he was making.
"can't.. Breathe.." he croaked out.
"Kid? Baby, hey, follow me, huh? Breathe in through your nose, hold, out through your mouth."
He's been repeating that to himself but somehow when you do it, it works, he could finally breathe at least a little. You guided him multiple times until he thinks he's stable enough.
"where are you? Queenie's hotel?" of course you knew, when he told you about his plan he told you everything. No matter how angry you are at him you remember everything he says.
Kid nods before realising you can't see him. "yeah.." he keeps trying to steady his breath. "I'm coming."
"cheeni, no-"
"shut up, I'm coming," he heard the final stern tone in your voice and didn't bother fighting back.
He stayed on the phone the whole time, staring out somewhere, his breathing even but mind is as messy as a jungle. He realised you stayed on the phone too. He only murmured a few words when you asked him where he was
He had no idea how long he was sitting on that curb.
"Kid, hey," your voice reel half of him back into the cold night. You have your hand cupping his cheek, trying to get him to look at you.
"hey, I'm here,"
He sighed when he felt the familiar pattern, a kiss to the forehead, another to the nose and two for the lips. Your fingers buried in his curls. "hey, bandhar, you hear me?" he finally looked at you.
"I saw.. My maa in her." he whispered, eyes locked with yours. You had no idea who he was referring to but you nodded. "okay, come on, baby." you simply said, trying to get him on his own feet. "you finished your shift?"
He simply nodded. Wordlessly got onto his feet, clutching onto your waist.
"I saw maa," his head hung low, curls covering his face, his tall figure that always seems to stand unapologetically is slumped.
You cupped his cheek with one had, brushing your thumb against his cheek.
"bandhar, look at me." you called sweetly, trying to get his attention. He finally lifted his head to look at you, his once slicked back hair had return to their original floof.
Though you do realise his hair is a little dry.
"how about you get on my bike hm? I'll take you home. Get you something to eat, run a cold shower, we'll lay down together and you can tell me about your day." you looked at him, his eyes never left your. Both of your hands had cupped his cheek at this point.
"i can go home?" his vouce sounded so tiny, unlike the man you know. You nodded and planted a kiss on his forehead
"of course baby, anytime," you simply said, heart breaking that he thought you'd be so cruel to deny him of his own home.
He didn't say much the whole ride, just hugged you from behind tightly, buried his face into your neck, letting the wind go through his hair.
Once you're home you guided him by his hand. He just mindlessly followed. You changed him, gave him a cup of water and now end up on the bed with him, his face laying on your stomach, basically draping over you like a blanket.
"I saw her," he whispered, hating how insane he sounded. "heard her screams again," he continues. Running your fingers through his soft hair, you felt guilty, what were you thinking? Letting a man with severe PTSD and survivor guilt roam around by himself after admitting that he has thoughts on revenge? And the fact that he was barely leaving the bed 3 weeks prior. That's an obvious red flag.
You took his hand and kissed his palm, letting him say what he needs to, letting him come back to you as he wants to.
"I'm sorry," you quietly say, caressing his hand. Kid looks up to you confused.
"I should've tried to understand you, instead I blew it out of proportion and argued with you, asking you to choose resulting in you leaving? It's so stupid" you continued.
Kid shook his head, he drew circles on your hip, his head laid back on your stomach. "you have your own issues too. I knew... About your families just up and abandoning you, fleeing the country and stuffs and in a way maybe you see me putting myself at risk as leaving you," his said, eyebrows furrowed, deep in thought.
You hummed, playing with his hair again. Twirling one of the curls that strayed.
"I guess when you meet at an orphanage you just kind of have baggage," you tried joking but he nodded, taking it seriously. "it's true," and he turned to look at you, pushing himself up.
Repeating the pattern you both have been doing since you were 16, just two orphans sneaking kisses around in the orphanage, one kiss on the forehead, one for the nose and twice on the lips.
"im glad I met you, you're the only good thing that came out of this whole thing. You're my anchor, you know that?" he asked, kissing you after. You've missed this, the pressure of his kiss on your lips.
You smiled, caressing his cheek softly. "you're my whole world," you replied, smile flattening. "you promise, you won't leave? You won't take these unnecessary risks?" you cant go through another month of not knowing what he was doing. Worry that he might have fuck with the wrong people and end up dead at the side of the street of Mumbai somewhere.
He nodded and kissed your forehead, his fingers tracing circles on your soft stomach. "I promise, cheeni, I promise,"
You entered the cracked up flat to find Kid watching the TV by himself, so deep in the Movie he didn't even realise you were home, a smile formed on your lips, fuck, even though you're hosting two fugitives in your home, the sight is too domestic to not melt your heart.
"I'm home," you announced, closing the door behind you. You turned around to see Kid with a big smile on his lips, standing and walking towards you, as excited as a puppy.
"jaanu, I missed you," he breathed before attaching hid lips to yours, hands wrapping around your waist. You hummed in the kiss.
Once you pulled back you stared into his eyes with a smile before looking at his hair, touching them.
"your curls feels fluffier than usual," you made a comment which earned a chuckle from Kid. He hummed and have your lips a final peck. "Sita put henna on my hair, she said she got bored being stuck in this house." he explained.
The mental image of your girl just running her hands into your man's curls makes you smile.
"where is she?" he lead you to sit you on the couch with him. "she's asleep," he whispered into your hair. The man's already clingy as it is, having you work much more than usual makes Kid crave having you in his arms even more.
You being the only face that is not all over the news for the murder of Rana, Queenie and Baba Shakti, you had decided, it's safer for the them to stay at home until it all die down, then all three of you could make a run to a different region of India, maybe even crossing borders. Anywhere people can't recognise them.
But until then you have to work to supply enough money, for three people, and it's not easy. It takes way much more time than you usually work.
You glance at the blanket that is on the sofa and frowned. "you're sleeping on the couch? Did you two fought?" you asked looking at Kid.
Kid barely loses his cool, Sita, being herself, is always clear on what she wants, what she likes and dislikes. For them to fight is very very rare.
"God, no. She kicked me out of the room because it was too hot, she said I'm a human heater," he said and lightly pouted. You let out a small laugh.
"she's right, you are a heater, and the heat of Mumbai isn't to play with. Plus your habit of hugging while you sleep isn't really helping your case." you teased, kissing his pout off. His eyebrows furrowed. "I can't even cuddle my girls without being rejected," he joked. You love it when Kid is comfortable. When it just the three of you, you get to see this side of him.
"baby?" a sleepy voice interrupted you two you turned around to see Sita with sleepy eyes standing in front of the room.
"hey, pretty girl, come here," you smiled at your girl, fuck even when she just woke up she's so incredibly beautiful. Sita sits herself between Kid and you, playfully pushing Kid away from you earning a small whine from Kid. He positione her so that she's sitting on his lap. On of her hand thrown over his shoulder she lazily kissed him
You smiled and softly placed your thumb on her chin, caressing before leading her in. She smiled and kissed you next.
"how was your nap?" Sita had thrown both her legs into your lap, you chuckled and brought her hand to kiss her palm.
"was good, without the heater bothering me." she joked, Kid tickled her side earning a yelp form her.
"Did I wake you up, sweetheart?" you asked softly, she just shook her head. Taking your hand in hers and begun her favourite pass time. Drawing random shapes on your palm.
"it's raining outside, it got cold," she replied, her fingers tracing letters in your palm. 'I <3 u` again and again and you smiled.
"is that why you came out? To be with the heater?" Kid asked, his arm thrown over your shoulder to pull you closer, you end up with your head on his chest while Sita's head on his neck.
Just what you need after a long day.
Sita didn't answer just let out a small laugh and yelp once again when he tickled her side. "Kidd!" she whined, now switching form drawing letters in your palm to kissing your fingers, almost even suckling on them.
Kid on the other hand has had his nose buried in your hair. Obviously sniffing the hell out of them.
"you two are awfully clingy today," you laughed into Kid's chest, eyes pinned on how pretty Sita's lips are kissing your fingers like that. You're glad that she's comfortable enough to let her oral fixation out and about. She used to say she's insecure about it and try not to do it in public.
"we missed you," Sita said softly before taking her head off of Kid's neck, tilting your chin and kissed your lips. You hummed into the kiss.
"hopefully this thing die down a little soon, I've got my contact for fake IDs already, even all the papers we need, just need this to die down and we can move on," Kid said and sighed. Sita though looked particularly interested. "what?" Kid asked confused. You just laughed because you know your girl all too well.
"you talking about all these matter makes her hot and bothered," you joked which made Sita blush. "hey!" she tried to defend herself before burying her face into Kid's neck, hiding from both of you.Kid chuckled and raised his hand to run it through her hair.
"hot and bothered hm?" he looked over to you with a smirk. You chucked. "such a tease," you laughed at him and kissed his lips, Sita turned her head again, pulling your hand towards her lips and kissed them again.
"i could fall asleep like this," you admitted, earning a him from Kid. A yawn escaped your lips. You looked over to Sita and chuckled when she's settled into placed your index finger into her mouth.
"I might fall asleep," you said again eyes now closed. Kid's hand that was resting on your arm softly move to pat you "sleep, I'll lift you later," you answer with a hum. You felt a kiss on your head and before you know it you're snoring like a baby.
A/n: I know this is anwar but teen dev is technically teen Kid sooooooo. Also as someone who smoked and struggle to quit DO NOT SMOKE, KIDS
You're trying your best to uphold the "good student" reputation you have. Your eyes pinned on the class's clock as if it personally betrayed you.
It's almost time to go home, not for you though, you're supposed to go to that stupid additional classes for gifted kids.
Your eyes trailed from the clock to look at the whiteboard.
You have to focus otherwise you'd have to study all these by yourself and you just can't be bothered!
Your focus on Miss Raji was diverted once a random crumpled piece of paper spawned on your table. You furrowed your eyebrows and turned to your right, looking at the tight face of your favourite boy. You raised your eyebrows and he, with his straight face, tilted his head towards the direction of the paper.
You turned and smoothened the paper to see what's written inside.
'beedi tonight?' written in his pretty handwriting.
A small smile creeped up on you, your free hand had lifted itself to toy with the tip of your uniform's collar. You turned back at him and sticked out your tongue then turned to look at the teacher again leaving Kid confused.
After class, he trailed behind you, pulling lightly at your bag once he reached you.
"yessss, devu?" you turned around and smiled. He pushed the overwhelming feeling from his heart to his stomach, he can't let it all spill out, all that from the childhood nickname that his mom used to call him. Now only belong to your lips.
Kid looked around before looking down at you. "tonight?" he looked like a kicked puppy, how dare you give him a vague answer?
You chuckled and nodded "yea yea, just wait for me there, I'll be there." you said nonchalantly, eyes searching around the hallway before your hand roam up to his tie, chuckling and pulling his tie while leading it into one of the empty classrooms.
"cheeni..?" Kid's confused but relaxed once you held his cheeks in your hands, squished them a little before planting a kiss on his soft lips. You chuckled when you hear a small whine form him when you pulled away.
"for a tall and scary man, you're really clingy," you teased before exiting the classroom, leaving Kid confused, blushed and alone.
Usually you would walk with him back to the orphanage but because of your extra classes, he had to walk alone and simultaneously in charge walking the little ones back with him.
"Bhaiyaa!" he heard multiple high pitched voices once he walked near the primary school's bus stop. He smiled a little but not enough to be noticed unless you're squinting... Or is his girl.
Kid simply offered his hand to the assigned leader of the little people pack and he gladly took it. Creating a line of kids holding each other's hand to go back to their orphanage together lead by.. Kid.
"where's sundar didi?" mid walking, one of the kids asked, the kid asking is being carried on his shoulders because the tiny guy claimed that his feet hurt.
"hmmm didi went to a special class. It's for smart people," he explained with pride in his voice. His cheeni is a genius and he's proud.
Once they're back in the orphanage he followed the routine he's been doing for almost 7 years. Queue to bathe, eat dinner in the small dining hall, help the little ones with their homework, does his own homework, go to bed.
Well at least tonight, pretend to go to bed.
Once the care givers checked on them, he carefully creep out of the door, walking as quiet as he can and going to the abandoned building behind the orphanage, climbing onto some railing and ending up on the roof.
"boo!" you jumped out and tried to scare him. Kid looked stunned but there's no sound from him.
You let out a big laugh. "oh my God! The colour in your face dissappeared! you should've seen yourself, bandhar."
Kid's stunned face formed a small smile, he pulled you in and kissed your forehead, nose and then twice on your lips.
"you got me there," he mumbled into your hair. You chuckled, face pressed onto his chest, shamelessly sniffing his sweet scent in. Your hand roamed to his rear and pulled the small plastic packet out his pocket, only pulling away after giving his ass a little tap.
Which earning a yelp by him making you laugh slightly.
"beeediiii, where'd you get them this time?" you asked with a smile, feeling his arms wrapped around your waist, swaying you with him from left to right slowly and his smile widen.
"first years, I comfiscated them," he chuckled when you gave him a shocked look.
"ouh! The prefect is misusing his powers!" you laughed and held his hand, leading him to the blanket you'd laid down on the floor, you laid down and took of his shoes, you just smiled and waited for him. Kid laid down, head to head, he turned his head slightly to kiss at your forehead, he trailed down to kiss your nose then you lifted your head so he can access your lips.
He took out one perfectly rolled beedi from the bag and light it up, giving it a little drag before passing it to you.
You looked at it and chuckle. "I know you didn't roll this by yourself." he turned to look at you.
"why's that?"
You sit up and looked at him. "come on, baby, don't lie to me, I know you so so well, it's okay to say you can't roll."
Kid tried to act like he's offended but he himself knew that you were only telling the truth.
You smiled and took one drag and playfully blows the smoke at his face. Kid just smiled. He's got his eyes closed while your own were pinned on the moon. You sighed before decided to bite the bullet.
"you've been a little distant," you said, twirling the beedi on between your thumb and index fingers. He might be clinging to you but his kisses doesn't linger as long, his touches ate held back, it makes you crave him.
He didn't say anything but the way he sucked in a sharp breath notified you that he indeed heard you.
"why is that?" you asked, still not taking your eyes off of the bright moon.
"cheeni," he said almost annoyed that you're bringing this up.
"no tell me, what is it?" you demanded, sitting up straight to loons t him.
He sighed, finally opening his eyes and sat accros you.
"you're a smart girl... And you're not taking the scholarship because of me."
You groaned. "this again?"
"yes, this again. Do you realise the potential you're letting go?" he asked you, his face now a little desperate.
You took a drag of the beedi and shook your head. "I'm a smart girl, yes, but there's too many smart people in India, especially in the field of what's offered to me. Baby, engineering? Do you know how severely underpaid engineers are here? Why should I continue my studies into that field? Because of a scholarship?" you asked him, trying to get him to grasp your perspective.
"but the company offering the scholarship has overseas branches, I made my research," he said, fidgeting with his fingers.
"what? You want me to work outside?" you asked in disbelief. "if I knew this scholarship would bother you so much I wouldn't have joined that stupid learners program,"
He throw his arms up, his frustrations were flowing through. "see?! You're holding yourself back because of me!"
You groaned and shook your head. "I'm not! I don't want that life. I want our plan, I want you, Mumbai, I want to open that small coffee shop we've been talking about. I don't want anything else! Just a small apartment with you, a small life," you replied just as frustrated.
He was silent for a few minutes before sighing, his knees had been pulled to be against his chest. He opened his mouth. "and when the apartment gets too small? And the money gets too tight? Would you come back to this moment and regret choosing that life.. Choosing me. Because of me." his voice small and tired.
"I can't give you more, you came from more, you deserve more, you could achieve more,"
You sighed, this isn't about the scholarship.
You pulled his knees away, settling in his lap and hugging him tight.
"you stupid monkey, I told you, I don't want more. I want you," he's pressed his head on your chest, you mumbled into his curls.
"I just want you. Can you let me do that? Have you?" you asked, pulling away, carefully lifted his chin with your hand, holding the beedi away from him in fear of accidentally hurting him.
"yeah.. I'm sorry, cheeni," he mumbled, brown eyes looking up to you making you lost in its depth. You leaned down to kiss his forehead, nose then twice in his lips.
"Just you, you, understand? You," you whispered in between kisses and he nodded.
Your eyes trailed from one of your lovers to the other. You could see the gears in his brain almost wearing out from how much thinking he's doing. It's like his world stopped, he's just standing at the corner of the room, totally oblivious that he's visible to everyone, just staring intensely at your other lover, doing her job.
Well maybe the years of grudge he's held against the owner of the pair of hands that roamed around on her skin isn't helping too. You sighed and took a sip of the whiskey you've been nursing. Your mind wandered back to how you three got into this arrangement. The night you trailed 'Bobby' into the alleyway, confronting him about his plans.
"Kid," You confidently called him by his legal name.
Kid was beyond shocked when he realised that someone noticed him, him, the boy that came from the untouchables, in such a big, rich place.
"I think you and me should go for a little drive," he's even more shocked when he's made the connection that it's you, the only breathing relative of Queenie.
It was Sita, honestly, out of the three of you she's more observant, she came up to you, legs swinging over your own, straddling your lap, your hand carefully placed on her back, knee ready to press on her just like she always love, she had her lips kissing your ear before whispering that there's a man, a mere waiter, she's been curious about.
"could you find out for me, baby?" her sweet voice in your ear sending shivers down your spine.
"How could I ever deny my girl?" you asked her with a tease in your tone, already pulling her chin softly for a kiss.
It took a while, for the three of you to be a thing, though you've known Sita for a long time you two had never made it official. even then she's the only woman you've taken up to your real apartment. Not that you've not had your fair share of people you've brought up to the VIP room.
Sita felt the same way, you're the only person she's followed back home. Others she's only taken in the hotel.
Well Kid is Kid. He's had close to none romatical relationship.. Except that one guy he slept with for a bed and warm food for a couple of days that one time but that's a different story.
"everything's alright?" Queenie's voice cut you out of your thoughts. You hummed, holding up your 4th glass of whiskey and sipping them.
"everything's great," you replied with a fake smile. Fucking hate the bitch, want to pretend she cares and shit.
"oh no it's not, she's been in the blues!" one of the men laughed. You almost successfully tuned out all the annoying business partners Queenie had, unfortunately for you, your dad was a big investor in the hotel, when he died, it all went to you.
Now you're stuck sitting in a circle full of annoying rich fucks that Queenie associated with.
You're a rich fuck too but that's not the point.
She frowned and then gave you a smile.
"pick anyone in the room, my treat," she said. You tried to hold in your expression, can't make a decision too fast, she'll notice. You three had decided to go forth with the plan on the night before Diwali. You'll request Sita as your girl. You've thought about plainly 'buying Kid off of Queenie's hands'. Not like she hasn't done that.
Your auntie's eyes searches the room. You know she's only being nice to you because she thinks that she's still in your will. Jokes on her, when you discovered that she killed your mother, you've taken her name off of the will.
But that's not enough, you want her to suffer, and when she's finally dead, you're coming for all her assets next.
"I assume your favourite girl huh? Sita," she said eyeing Sita who was too busy with Rana. "will he let her go?" you 'joked'. She hummed and called to Sita, sending two other girls towards Rana. Not like the man would care, anything with holes and legs he'd stick his dick into.
Sita walked towards you, one of the men slapped her ass when she walked pass him, making her yelp but professionally covered it with a smile. She immediately straddled your lap, swaying her body with the music. You held her back close. Turning to the man and 'playfully' punched his shoulder, making him yelp and held his shoulder.
"my girl," you 'joked' with a stupid smile. None of these people can do anything to you anyway. You'd love to see them try.
You kissed her neck making her whine, you smiled into her neck before she leaned in, kissing your ear.
You listened carefully. It's a sign that she wanted to say something to you.
"Kid? He's been staring at me, I'm scared seeing Rana triggers him like before," she said softly, the love and worry in her voice made your chest flutter.
You pulled away and turned to your aunt.
"what if I want two?" you asked playfully, your hand tracing on Sita's chest over her black dress. Trying to deceive her, making sure she can't see that this woman in your arms doesn't just hold your lust but your heart too.
"take your pick,"
You pretend to eye the room, not like you don't already have your answer. You pointed towards Kid. "that waiter," you said simply.
"the waiter?" she asked. "the tall one?" she asked again, snapping her fingers at him. Kid immediately walked towards the table. Moving to hand the table the drugs but stopped by Queenie. She whispered something in his ears.
You realised the looks of the men in front of you, it's the first time you asked for two, it's the first time you asked for anyone else when Sita is already in your arms. You had to think quick.
You can't let them think anything is off. You can't elt them use your loves as a point of weakness to attack.
When Kid stood in front of you awkwardly you felt guilty for putting him in an uncomfortable place but you had to do something to throw their suspicions off.
"on your knees," you said simply, earning a look of confusion from Kid. Sita who's still swaying and grinding herself to the music on your lap tried to look unfazed.
Kid does it anyway, kneeling next to your seat, looking up at you like an obedient puppy. You reached out your hand and pat him like one.
"Saw something about pet play in the magazine," you started, putting that stupid stuck up rich face all the people here have. You hands played at Sita's chest, roaming them on the neckline and toying the strap. Before turning your head into Kid's direction and lifted his chin with your index finger.
"they said something about male pet having more ego. It's more fun to break," you bullshit your way through, you figured it worked because they all laughed. Of course, fucking up someone's self esteem is most of these people's past time.
"well have fun then!" one of the men laughed, you just smirked.
You pulled Sita into another kiss, more passionate one, you felt the need to erase any taste of that Rana off of her, at least so that later Kid won't taste anything but you and Sita, she panted at how heavy the kiss turned. When you pulled away, she let out the most beautiful whine, looking into your eyes with pure need.
"you wanna go out now, baby?" you asked softly. Which she then nodded.
"well gentlemen, we'll be going now, our girl here needs some attention," you joked as Sita stood up holding both of your hands. You wrapped an arm around her waist and bent to pull Kid by his tie. "come on, pet" you simply comanded.
The drive towards you apartment was filled with silence. At a traffic light you can't hold it in anymore. "I'm sorry," it came out with a heavy sigh.
"for humiliating you like that. I didn't... I saw the men and they all looked so fucking confused and suspicious an-and I knew these fucking people, I'm so scared they're going to dig in more or something," you rambled quickly only stopping when you felt Kid's huge hand resting itself on your shoulder.
"it's okay, I know you didn't mean anything by it," his quiet voice tried to comfort you. Sita already had her hand reaching out for yours.
"I just felt like one of those stupid rich fucks and I hate it so much" you brought Sita's hand to your lips and left a little peck, then reaching to caress Kid's hand on your shoulder.
The light turned green and you switched the gear and drove. One hand still holding onto Sita's.
"Just a few more days, baby, and we'll be as public as we want," she tried to comfort you, you offered her a tiny smile.
Day in and day out, pretending not to know them beyond just renting or using them at the hotel hurts but it always end with a night of gentle and slow passions pouring into each of you. Before you know it, it's one day before Diwali.
You've 'rented' Sita as your date, you decided to bring her on a little shopping spree, letting her choose whatever she wants, wherever she wants. You just followed her with a stupid smile on your face, carrying whatever bag she decided to hand you. She bought a new dress for herself, then dragged you into a store to find a pair of shoes that actually matches your outfit.
"it's your day, sweetheart, you should buy for yourself, not anyone else," you said simply as she goes through the store to find you the right match. She shakes her head and pouted a little before siting next to you. "what is it?" you asked tentatively, placing all the shopping bags on the floor.
"I just wish Kid was here. I... It's unfair that we're here preparing for tonight while he's just.. God knows where," she sighed, placing her head on your shoulder. You sighed too, throwing an arm around her shoulder, pulling her closer and kissed the top of her head.
"When this is all over, I'll bring you two anywhere you want, buy you all the things you want," you said smoothly and she lifted her head to look at you. "really?"
You nodded your head and kissed her. "anything for my favourite girl," you said and kissed her again.
"you can pick out anything for Kid, too. It's not like he can say no to you," you joked.
The night came and you saw Kid outside of the building, he gave you a little nod but nothing more. Though you did note the new necklace Sita bought for him.
"take my card, sweetie, my feet hurt from following you around," you tried to make her laugh. Sita's face light up and stood up to go searching for more things she wanted to buy for Kid.
Sita looked gorgeous, a new gold dress you bought her, a bangle to decorate her wrist, a new necklace. "I feel you staring," she teased as you held onto her waist and lead her to sit at the designated spot.
"hm? Not like you mind," you cheekily answered.
The rest of the night was fucking boring, hearing all the bullshit Baba Shakti spew.
You looked over your shoulder, Kid just went into the hall and stared at you before nodding. You slowly took Sita's hand, kissing her on the back of her hand twice to notify her and Kid that everything's on que.
Multiple gunshots were heard from the lower floor, loud screams of panic filled the hall. Everything was silent before another series of gunshot was heard. People started evacuatimg from the door before you pretentiously pulled Queenie by her hand. "Auntie, what's happening?" you tried to appear panicked.
She just shakes her head. "everyone's evacuating to the lower floor, the VIPs are going up to VIP levels, we should go to the penthouse," she explained the escape route. You nodded and followed her. Sita hand held yours tightly.
You saw Kid trailing Rana Singh. Decided to leave him be and followed her to the elevator.
Once you're in the penthouse, Queenie was going through her purse to find her phone, before she could do anything Sita hit her head harshly with a tray, resulting in her falling to the floor, unconscious.
"that's kinda hot, sweetheart," you smiled and kissed her, Queenie on the floor was barely able to move. You took the tray and hit her head again. "fuck you! You killed your own sister! My mother!" you yelled and stepped on her hands. Earning a loud yell from her. You pulled her hair roughly. Forcing her to look at Sita.
"see that girl you degraded so much? She's the one your filthy money is going to be spent on when they're mine," you said with a mocking tone before hitting her head again with the tray. Again. Again. Again.
Until her face and head is basically a bug puddle of blood.
Before you could turn to say anything to Sita, a figure of a man was about to near her. You threw the knew you see on the counter right into his thigh, earning a loud groan. Sita turned and hit his head with the same tray.
"that's Baba Shakti, good job, baby," you smiled and kissed her, tying him up in a chair.
You chopped a piece of Queenie's finger and looked over to Sita, handing her a gun. "Remember what I said about using this?" you asked her and she nodded, you pulled her into another kiss "take care of yourself, if he wakes up just make sure he doesn't get out of the ropes."
"be careful," Sita said before you smiled and goes down the elevator.
You searched for Kid, finally finding him on the VIP floor, hitting Rana with a high heel.
"love," you said in relief that he's still alive. Kid looked up to you, so does half conscious Rana.
"y-you.." he croaked out. All the hate and stories Kid told you in vulnerability at night comes to you. All the bullshit he had to go through because of this man, the hate came to you and you looked at Kid. "finish the job, love,"
"you think... You can get... Away?" Rana hoarse voice said. You rolled your eyes and gave him a sweet smile. "of course I can, I'm fucking rich," you said and signaled Kid to end it. Which he did with the last swing of the high heel.
"come on, love, Sita's upstairs. Baba Shakti too," you said leading him up to the penthouse.
Baba Shakti was screaming insults at Sita even though he's tied in that chair. Kid just went and slap him across the face. "that's not how you talk to a lady," he said with a stern voice. "do you know who I am?" he asked, eyes not leaving the old man once.
You pulled Sita towards you, holding her, standing little far from Kid but close enough so he knows you're both there. Let him have his moments.
You looked at your phone, one of your guy shoot you a text saying that you all need to be out by 10 minutes, they're burning the whole hotel down. "5 more minutes, love," you said over the sound of Kid beating Baba Shakti again and again. Sita had leaned her head onto your shoulder, arms around your waist, both of you watched Kid fulfill his plans and eventually he's stopped. "let him burn to death," he said before walking towards the both of you and into the elevator.
Life is easy when you have money, much more easier when most policemen you knew speak the same language. Bribery.
It's really not that hard, cough up a little when you got out of the building, give money to whoever needed to testify that the gunshots they heard weren't gunshots but really just glasses being blown because it's too hot downstairs and they start exploding, pay a cop here and there to dispose some evidence.
Cry on interview when talking about your aunt.
Wear white at her funeral, having your lovers by your side and pretend to mourn.
Then voila! You're in a new apartment with your lovers, enjoying a jacuzzi while drinking wine and eating grapes.
You hummed as you laid your head onto Kid's chest, he's chuckling as Sita went from kissing his neck to just tickling it to mess with him. "I can sleep like this," you said with a sigh. Sita leaned over to kiss you before tickling your side. "hey!" you yelped and caught her hand making her giggle. You pulled her towards you and she yelled when you tried to dunk her into the water. She pulled at Kid's hands for help but instead she got the opposite.
"surrender! Surrender!" she begged when Kid lifted her, walking towards the outdoor pool you had. "Wait, wait, dalring, no! No! Bad monkey! Bad! Ahh!" she yelled when Kid threw her into the pool. You let out a big laugh when Sita keep throwing water in Kid's direction.
God he looks too hot like this. Under the sun with swimming trunks and Sita... She wearing her little bikinis.
Barely could hold it in.
"what are you laughing about jaan?" Kid asked walking towards you.
"Where the fuck is he, Sita?" you asked her, cringing once your own voice hit your ears. You didn't mean to misdirect your anger at her. You glanced up to see her biting her nails, a habit she used to control her emotions and distract herself. You reached for her hand to plant a kiss and kept holding on as damage control.
"Sorry, sweetheart" you mumbled, eyes trailing to the clock on the wall as you sighed. Sita's fingers were playing with your own. She shook her head wordlessly. You were both tangled in each other on the couch, trying to comfort one another while being just as stressed about your shared missing lover.
When the door finally opened, a beaten-up, sweaty-looking Kid walked into the apartment without saying a single word. As nonchalant as ever, he walked past both of you to the kitchen cabinets, searching for the medical box that was stored there.
Both you and Sita jumped off the couch and were already hot on his trails. Sita's concern, which was plastered all over her face, melted into an expression that was unreadable. She was putting on her poker face. Whenever she gets too angry or sad she tends to repress her emotions.
Not you though, you tend to blow up.
"where have you been? No text, no notes?" you asked sternly. Judging by the bruises on his body, you already knew the answer.
"work," he answered quietly, not quiet as he's scared, quiet as he's distracted. Kid reached for a glass and poured water into it. Talking as his casual self, as if this doesn't matter. As if you should've expected this.
"you've been fighting again." it's not a question; it's a statement, delivered with a tone of bitterness unlike what he's used to hearing.
Kid sighed as he leaned against the counter, setting the glass of water onto the surface. It's very rare that Kid fights with either of you; usually he's the one who would apologise even when it's not his fault, all in the name of ending the argument.
You glanced towards Sita; who was staring at Kid, it's hard to read her when she's like this. All quiet and reserved.
"I told you, I need to work, I have debts with the temple," Kid explained, repeating his point as if it would magically change your mind.
"And we told you, we don't like you fighting," you tried to be patient, you did, but this man knew how to dig and tug at the deepest parts of your heart.
Kid swallowed a groan, replacing it with a shaky sigh. You didn't know what to interpret that. Anger? Annoyance?
Whichever it was, it was enough to push Sita over the edge. Without a word, she left the kitchen and walked with purpose straight towards the couch. Her hands reached for the blanket and started folding it neatly. Then she turned to stack up the loose novels that were all over the table.
You looked at Kid, who was staring at your girl. When he looked at you, your glance turned harsher.
Look at what you've done," you muttered under your breath, knowing Sita well enough to understand that this was her way of swallowing her emotions even further.
You walked towards Sita, gently grasped her wrist, and pulled her close. "How about you go to bed, sweetheart? I'll talk to him," you tried coaxing her. Even planting little kisses on her jaw as you whispered those words carefully.
Kid and you both knew how much Sita hated arguments, whether they involved shouting or silence. Growing up in a whorehouse meant that an argument would always go badly for her.
Even though she had been out of that God forsaken hotel for about a year, she still had the instinct to run away from an argument as fast and as far as possible.
She stared at you for a while, then turned to Kid, who was still leaning against the counter but was visible from where the both of you were standing. His expression was still nonchalant, as if he had no remorse for what he'd done.
"I love you, Kid, but this is too much. You need to figure your shit out. I don't want to wake up one day and discover that you died in the fucking ring by yourself. We might not even find out days after because I know damn well you didn't tell anyone about your life with us," her voice steady. Her face still hold the same expression.
"I have debts, I need to pay them," he repeated his argument. You shake your head and sat down. If Sita had spoken, it meant that it's up to that point that the issue can't be ignored anymore.
It's true, he has been sneaking out of the apartment to go to the temple much more lately and it scares both of you to death each time.
"I told you, I can pay them for you," you sighed, reaching for the humidor that was kept inside the drawer of the cabinet. You were more than ready to light up a cigar.
You cringe at how much you looked like your father in that moment, a robe, a cigar and angry lovers.
No, they're angry for the right reasons... You hope.
"that's stupid. I don't want to be a burden!" Kid groan, his thick brows; the ones that you love to plant kisses on so much, furrowed even deeper.
"love, I've said it before and I'll say it again, your debt won't even put a dent on my money," you massaged your own head, opening your eyes to take a quick glance at Sita. Ready to read both of your lovers, to prevent things from excalating on the wrong directions.
So far she's standing straight with her hands on her hips, eyebrows just as furrowed.
You've decided to calm down, that's the point of the cigar. This argument is so long overdue that all of you act out of character; Sita being the person confronting, Kid groaning and yelling and you, shockingly, the one who has to be calm.
"are you calling me a burden then?" Sita asked, voice not above a whisper. You glanced at her again, she's not standing as straight as usual. She's Sita, your Sita, she moves the room along with her as she walks and to see her cower is.. New
"what? I never said that, what are you on about?" Kid asked, anger was still lingering in his voice but it was mixed with a tinge of defensiveness and guilt.
"you think not working makes you a burden. So, you think I'm a burden," she simply stated.
Kid furrowed his eyebrows. Finally pushing himself off of the counter to walk closer to Sita, shaking his head. "I never said that," he repeated, towering over Sita. It's almost as if he made himself bigger. You hated the thought that flashed through your head.
No, this is Kid, of course he's not trying to intemidate her.
It doesn't help that Sita tried to back away.
"I don't work. I know how you look at me. You think I'm a burden for wasting money, " Sita said, eyes staring into his own. She's not backing down. You had never seen either of your lover fight this way. They're really scarred people, they hate to scar each other up even more.
Kid tilted his head to the side, pointing at he bags under the stairs that haven't been sorted out yet. "look at how much designer bags you brought home yesterday from your 'weekly shopping trips'," Kid said with a mocking tone in his voice.
You cleared your throat, trying to break the tension off.
"I love bringing you on those trips, sweetheart," you said, cigar still between your lips. Truth is, you do. You love spoiling your princess rotten. She deserves it. Especially when words got out that she worked as a high paying escort a few months ago, it really brought her down. She struggled with the thought of 'tarnishing your reputation' but truth to be told, you couldn't give two fucks. You love who you love and everyone else do not matter.
You saw Sita turned her head and gave you a small smile.
"I know, baby, but this isn't about you," she turned her head back to Kid. Face shifted in a second.
"This is about you. You think spending money on yourself isn't necessary," she accused.
"It is unnecessary, you don't need new dresses every week. It's just plain stupid, it's a waste of money," Kid finally answered after a long pause. You sucked in a breath.
"it's like you're falling back into your old habit," he mumbled, eyes regretting what he said once he said it.
"Fucking hell," you muttered, not believing how stupid your boyfriend could be.
Sita let out a tiny laugh and shakes her head. "Habit? What habit? Huh?" Sita pressed, getting a little bit aggressive with her hands shoving 9n his hard chest.
Kid held his tongue, staring down at her in absolute silence. Yelling her to stop. "No! Say it, what habit?!" she yelled.
Sita don't yell.
You stood up fast, hoping that you could reach her faster than Kid would lose his temper.
"Sweetheart-"
"doing whatever you need to do to get whatever you want," Kid scoffed. Sita looked at him, hurt.
"Fuck you, at least I left that life behind. I'm here now, not throwing my life into danger because I don't know how to move on from my past!" Sita shouted at him, anger and hurt mixed in her tone.
You're not sure what's happening, what switched, but both of them are throwing words just to hurt each other.
"Hey, guys, come on, we don't do that." you tried to intervened but they completely ignored you.
"Did you? Did you leave that life behind? Cause it looks to me like you picked your favourite one and just stick with it," Kid snickered. You stared at him, as shocked as Sita was.
"is that what you think of me still? Just an escort? Yea, I must be using them for money right? That's what everyone says! The whore can't love!" her tears run down her face freely, shouting out echoes of headlines she obsessively read just a few months ago.
She sobbed before she turned without another word to walk up the stairs. Heading to the main bedroom, no doubt.
You winced as you heard the door upstairs slammed shut. Sighing as you looked at Kid. He's just standing in the middle of the living room with his head hung.
"What the fuck was that?" you asked, still not able to wrap your head around the idea that those foul words came out of the gentle, sweet and loving man you both knew and loved... Love
Kid sighed and threw himself onto the couch. Not answering you, just covered his face with his fists.
"we're just worried about you," you're fuming but you knew something was wrong for him to act this way. He wouldn't even raise his voice at Sita or you in a joking manner.
This?
Something is off. Way way off.
Kid didn't answer, just curled up smaller on the couch and covered his face with his fists.
You sighed and walked upstairs.
Past few days had been dreadful. Kid refused to leave the guest room. He's been on the bed most days, staring at the wall. Once in a while you could hear his cries from outside of the room. Bits of 'ama' here and there.
You just didn't know what to do exactly other than bringing him trays of food, occasionally tried to make him speak. You didn't want to force it out of him if he wasn't ready.
Sita was worried yet she refused to speak a word to him.
That's how you end up sitting on the couch, the only light source was coming form the TV. Sita had her head pressed against your chest, you fiddled with her hair as you watched the TV, not really, your head just worked through all possible ways that you could fix whatever was happening.
As you plant small kisses on her head, your eyes about to fall shut when the light of the TV felt a little too dim.
You opened your eyes. It's a very messy looking Kid. He had socks on with a pair of short but no shirt. His curly hair was a mess, he had bags under his eyes, eyes that looked red.
"come here, love," you offered your other hand, speaking softly not to wake your girl up.
He was fidgeting with his fingers and shook his head. Eyes shifting from you to Sita then fell onto the floor.
"I fucked up," his voice shaky. Lips trembling. He reminded you of a scared child and a pang hit your heart. Fuck, you're in love with such complicated people.
"come here, lovey, I haven't hold you in so long," you tried again, putting up a smile, trying your best to coax him in.
Kid shook his head again. "... She hates me," he breathed out. "no, she doesn't." you replied, circling your finger on Sita's shoudler as she shifted alittle, still asleep.
Kid walked closer hesitantly. Eyes now fall onto the peaceful face of your girl.
"she should," he cried out softly, letting you hold onto his wrist. "I made her cry... I fucked up," he repeated. You hated how hoarse his voice sounded.
"come," you said again, pulling his wrist slightly. He didn't fight you this time. Settled into you right side, copying Sita's sleeping position.
You sighed, finally holding both of your lovers on both sides after almost a week.
Kid was silently sobbing into your chest, you just opted on drawing circles on his bare back.
You felt Sita stired awake, she sat up, registering the sobbing man on your chest. Kid tensed for a second. Not sure of what to say. He was silent and so was she.
A few seconds passed before she moved to plant a kiss on your lips and hesitantly one on his head and left.
You sighed and gently caressed his shoulder. Kid had quiet down, only staring up the wall.
"time to tell me what's going on." you tried. You've waited for too long, you need to pry him open now.
He lets out a shaky breath before muttering a small. "ama."
You waited for him to continue.
"Ama's...death anniversary.. I..." he took time to arrange his words. You kissed his forehead sweetly, wanting to comfort him but not interrupt him.
"I.. Cope badly. I hurt.. Myself," Kid breathed out. Your hand that was on his arm slide down to his wrist. "... Like this?" you asked, tracing then kissing his scars like always. You knew he used to do that but didn't ask him why. If he didn't want to talk about it, why ask?
He nodded. "when I moved... I started.. Going to the ring."
You put the pieces together. Fuck, why didn't you see what he was doing?
He's hurting himself. Just in a different way.
He's going in that ring to get beaten up on purpose. He poke fights and threw words on purpose.
"love.. That's.." you start but not sure what to add.
"I didn't mean to hurt her. At the time.. I just.. I hated myself and... I needed everyone to hate me too. It's easier... To keep hurting when you think no one cares," he sighed, closing his eyes and thought how stupid he was.
"aw, love," you sighed into his hair as you kissed his head. "you two need serious therapy," you tried to joke but Kid just nodded and settled into your chest even more. He's tired, you're tired, and so was Sita.
"you need to make it up to her. I hate to say this but you hurt her bad, love," you mumbled into his hair and he nodded. "I heard her cry... Is she... Scared of me?" he asked, sitting up straight to look at you.
Sita had a history of being extra jumpy whenever you and Kid fight. You shout, a lot, and Sita hates it.
"no, not of you, never." you assured him.
The next morning, you woke up to an empty bed. You stretched your back and made your way to the kitchen, stopping at the entrance when you heard soft murmurs. Kid was kneeling in front of Sita, who was sitting on the kitchen's chair. He's holding her hand and talking to her.
"I love you, I was being stupid, I.. I get it if you want to stop seeing me. I deserve it but believe me when I say that you're not a whore. You're not used, you're not. You're the woman we love and I'm.. I'm stupid," he breathed as he kissed onto her palms.
Sita tried to keep her face straight but she sobbed, shaking her head. "no.. No you were right. I use up all their money.. And do nothing around the house. I'm..still just a stupid escort,"
A flash of guilt and hurt flashed on Kid's eyes, fuck, if he didn't hate himself before, he sure does now. He thought of how long it took to scoop that idea out of her head. Sita refused to even let you buy her gifts for months, not posting anything about either of you on her socials. She sat in the room, obsessively read all the articles harsh words on her. Comments on videos of three of you, just people telling her that no matter how long it's been, she'll always be nothing but a prostitute.
Kid never hated himself more. After months of reassuring that she's more, he used her past as a weapon and reminded her that's she's less.
His lips trembled, shaking his head, one hand reached to cup her cheek. "no, pyaar, you're nothing like that, believe me, please. We love you, I love you," he panicked, voice filled with desperation.
"I love you," he repeated. You walked into the kitchen, placing a hand on her shoulder. "we love you," you said again, amplifying what Kid said.
Kid placed kisses on hervpalm, his knees are starting to hurt but he didn't care. He needs to erase what he's done.
Sita just cried silently. You rubs circles on her shoulder before pulling a chair to sit next to her. Kid turned to look at you. Stilling kneeling in front of the both of you.
He reached igt for your hand, softly caressing your fingers. "I'm sorry, jaan.. I didn't mean to.. I'm stupid," he said. Obviously dissapointed in himself.
"...can we not fight anymore? I'm tired.." Sita asked, you nodded and took her hand, kissing her palm softly.
"we'll get through this, okay? Let me fix this," you said, holding both of their hands.
That evening you signed the three of you for couples therapy, and the both of them for personal therapy.
It takes a lot of work to make things work. That's what you keep repeating to yourself. Seeing how tight Kid held you and Sita that night, you knew it was worth it.
