#monsterkin

[shot-to-rot]

I should start calling my bed my grave. The biggest issue with that is that it's a loft bed so I do need to climb into it. However, this does not factor in the fact that frankly, I do not care

[shot-to-rot]

Getting Chinese food from my favorite takeout spot half an hour away. I'm gonna take it home and eat it with my hands just to feel something. Perhaps something a tad feral and mindless. I'm figuring things out as I go, tbh

[shot-to-rot]

Was thinking, it's nice to decay in bed, as I feel my legs just ease into nothingness, to let all my pain and worries fade away... it was nice...

And then the stupid AC clicked on so nevermind I guess. Guess I'm getting sent to the morgue instead

[shot-to-rot]

Bit of a ramble about how I wish I looked below the cut. Went on longer than I meant to and don't wanna clog any dashes, heehoo

I decided to go ahead and draw what I wish I looked like. Stylized, of course, but I wish I had my stitches, that I could just gaze at them and ponder. Maybe open them up, maybe stitch them together again in a new way with different thread. The idea of getting them tattooed has lingered in my head, but I'm a bit of a scaredy cat when it comes to pain. And, like... Every time I paint them on my body, I like that the individual stitches can move about? The inconsistency is really... freeing, I guess?

I know I'll never fully look like this, with the eyes and the sharp teeth and even the stitches permanently on my body. I can really only get a quarter of the way there with the body paint, which makes that quarter temporary. I have some kandi bracelets that at least act like the stitches on my arm, but...

Ugh. A lot of things cost a lot of money and recovery time. And I guess, at least in regards to the tattoos, I'm worried I'll someday stop being zombiekin and regret getting them? I know they can fade, and I know that I love being a zombie right now, but from my understanding, sometimes... a kintype just sorta... fades away a little. Not in an inherently bad way, mind you, but in the way small parts of you fade away or change with time- favorite memories, best friends, preferred hangout spots, hobbies, art styles (this is a relatively new one for me and I really like it, I think I'm even starting to prefer it a little over my old art style?), how one fundamentally sees themselves in the mirror

Maybe I'm just thinking too hard into it?

This piece really does make me happy though I really like the idea of looking like this

[shot-to-rot]

Dressed in so much bright green today. Feels great. Did some facepaint for the cartoonish eyebags and the stitches around my neck, and went out to a little event a library was having. Felt great. Zombie happy

[shot-to-rot]

Would anyone have any recommendations for plants (not just flowers) associated with death that one can grow on an apartment balcony in autumn? I want a zombie inspired garden for the fall, but most things are either out of season, too big, or too deadly (I live in a pet friendly apartment complex, so I gotta be wary of that) to plant. I at least have rosemary plants, some marigold seedlings, and plants for mums, but that doesn't seem... overt enough, y'know?

Maybe I should plant some potatoes, since those are a type of nightshade...

[caliginouscreature]

A lot of "dark" kin/villainkin posting has long been-- and still is-- overwhelmingly focused on airs of guilt and notions of "validity".  In a stroke of irony, the forces of darkness skew heavily into positing their good nature and kindness.  You will see dozens if not hundreds of variations on "You didn't do the bad things you did in your source in this lifetime, in your present human body, so don't worry about whether your kintype makes you a bad person, because it doesn't! Never let anyone try to convince you otherwise," posted abound by multiple entities independently.

Like yeah maybe I might have had concerns at some point, but I've long since figured out that being a bad guy doesn't make me a bad guy.  I also already know that I didn't do any of that scary stuff, either, which is actually kind of a sore spot, so I kind of wish you'd stop bringing it up, honestly.

[shot-to-rot]

Felt wrong without my autopsy stitches today. Wished I could just... open them up and peer inside, see what's going on in there. But I can't :(