May 12, 2017
you have sad eyes, girl. how old are you? you've seen too much.
client I rang up at work today
seen from China
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seen from Malaysia
seen from Malaysia
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Türkiye
seen from Malaysia
seen from Netherlands
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seen from Malaysia
seen from Maldives
seen from United Kingdom
you have sad eyes, girl. how old are you? you've seen too much.
client I rang up at work today
Where is your peace? Why do you look so, so tired, babe?
my grandmother in my dream last night.
in a VERY interesting turn of events, I decided to leave 🆎 (almost bae) in 2015. and now, this year, once she realizes that I'm not hitting her up, she calls/FaceTimes multiple times a day, everyday. what pisses me off is that she really thinks that she can pick and choose when to be in someone's life. that's some selfish shit. so yesterday, I went out with a friend to a restaurant and beforehand 🆎 thought she could question me about who I was going with. asking does she look like you? (In lesbian speak, that means is she a "girly girl" or does she "dress chill/like a boy"). it's so strange how she can be jealous but when I asked her in December if she was having sex with other girls and she completely ignored my question like three times. I get it, we're not together, but it would be been nice if you told me so I can protect myself/go get tested/etc. smh. the amount of disrespect was unreal, but I'm literally at the "we'll always just be friends and I'm not sleeping with you ever again" point and I have my guard waaaayyyyy up that I doubt I can ever see her like that again. whatever. rant over.
I remember my birth a lot different than my mama does. see she says I came from her. but I just remember pulling myself up from the earth, calling out for you. or was that the afterlife? the place you left me in... alone.
a.d.c., "rebirth-day girl"
the delicate divergence between syrup and satin: the undeniable tale of her sleepy voice
a.d.c., "her"
please please oh god please bless me in 2016 with someone who loves me as much as I love them.
I’ve really, truly been wondering lately if you even think of me. and not in some fucking poetic way. like do you ever get flashes of my face and think "damn, let me see how she's doing?" like do you think about all the shit I’ve done to help you when you couldn’t even help yourself? OF COURSE I didn't do it all for something in return. but, I thought we were better than that. I did more for you than I did for myself sometimes. granted, that’s probably more my fault than anything, but do you even know what you meant to me? did I mean anything to you? I feel so fucking cliché these days. I know you have your shit going on right now, but I was there for you and now that I’m going through some shit, you haven’t even asked how I’m doing…. fuck it.
I hurt my own feelings now.
a.d.c, "after she left", a 6-word poem