moonset-tea replied to your post “anyone else get the impression that aziraphale is significantly...”
okay so! it’s a little bit hard to explain so i hope this makes sense
the concept of self-alienation originated, as far as i know, from marxist theory, and the way he used it was to describe the detachment from oneself and one’s labor as a product of class structure and capitalism. instead of a person’s labor going to help themselves and those around them directly, it instead kind of vanishes into a weird space of ‘my time and labor are purchased but the labor is one abstracted from my experience as a person and two largely unwilling, because participation in the capitalist machine is mandatory.’ this was later expanded, once ‘emotional labor’ became an acknowledged thing, to include the distancing of a person from their literal self because of how someone has to compartmentalize who they actually are in order to perform a ‘correct’ state of mind
in saying this i’m not actually comparing heaven to human capitalism, but i think context is important for understanding the concept. my description is shitass so if you’re interested in learning more about it i would suggest doing your own research
so! i am absolutely not saying aziraphale resents or dislikes being an angel. it’s a very important part of his identity and he in no way wants to abandon it. the issue is that the type of angel he is is at odds with the type of angel he is supposed to be
aziraphale is never shown being happy about directives from heaven. he’s always willing to follow them, because if it’s an order from heaven it must be in service to the greater good, somehow, he just can’t see it. it’s abstract.
the miracles he performs are small, direct person-to-person care when he sees someone needing help. he was reprimanded for using ‘too many frivolous miracles’ and the fact that the ones performed most directly were to help people he interacts with personally means we can begin to guess what kind of miracles are ‘frivolous.’ he heals anathema’s broken bone and her bike, and puts a bike rack on the bentley(and crowley LETS HIM i’m still not over it) so they can see her safely home. he gives sister mary a kind dream so that when she wakes from her hypnosis she won’t be afraid. he spreads good with his presence and his honest desire to help people
this is not what heaven wants. heaven wants broad strokes, it wants obedient agents. by the time the present rolls around he’s shaken off a lot of that programming, indulges in pleasures inappropriate for a good angel. good angels know not to sully their celestial bodies with “gross matter;” they know the great plan and they know not to kiss any demons. aziraphale has carved out a place for himself, only, and in that place he can express his true self, his true spirit. by the end of the show he’s embraced this, no longer feels the need to compartmentalize his personhood in order to do his work. self-actualization
DAMN THAT TURNED OUT LONG idk i’m half asleep and the hc is a little dumb so anything i say is gonna be woobly
(hey no drama about marx stuff in the comments, okay friends? it’s not really the point of the post)
