Thank God I'm a Loser
title song: could be love by poolhouse
summary: Peter Pettigrew has a fairly normal life.
wc: 1455
warnings: none!
ship/s: one-sided remus lupin/peter pettigrew, mentioned sirius black/remus lupin
ao3 link
Peter Pettigrew was 5 when he made his first proper friend, Marlene. She was the girl who just moved in across the street with her father. He first met her when he was playing in the park. Peter wasn't a shy kid at all, he loved meeting new people, always excited at the possibility of making friends.
The girl came up to him as soon as he got up from the slide, hands on her hips.
“Your shirt is silly,” she huffed. Peter glanced down at his shirt, a small frown on his face. It wasn't silly! “And so are your socks.”
Peter didn't understand how his shirt and socks, though a little plain, were silly in any way at all. He shook his head boldly, pointing back to her shirt. “Your shirt is silly.” He didn't really think it was silly, he thought it was cool, but Peter didn't want to be teased by some stranger.
The girl in front of him laughed, and a grin broke out on her face. “Nuh-uh,” she responded, pulling the bottom of her shirt out to straighten it. She looks back up, brushing the hair out of her face, “My name is Marlene. Marlene McKinnon. I moved here just on Monday with my dad.”
“Then I'm Peter,” he says, “Peter Pettigrew.”
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Peter Pettigrew was 7 when he first learned Marlene didn't know what magic was.
They were playing in the backyard of Peter's house, and Marlene was quickly growing impatient waiting for Peter to come back outside after going to get a drink. She picked up the ball, throwing it out in front of her with the strong wish for Peter to throw it back to her.
And so the ball bounced once and then came back. Marlene raised her eyebrows, her mouth dropping as she gasped. Maybe it was a one time thing? So she tries again, throwing the ball out in front of her but this time it doesn't bounce back. Maybe it was only a one time thing that she imagined.
“Pete! Peter!” Marlene calls, as she ran back towards the house. She barreled in through the door, grinning at Peter. “Guess what I just did! I got the ball to come back to me!”
Peter set his cup down and nodded slowly. “Are you a wizard… or, er, a witch, too?”
Marlene shook her head, “Well, I don't think so. Don't witches and wizards need their dad or mum to be a witch or a wizard. I know my daddy hasn't got any magic.”
Peter hummed in contemplation, hand on his chin as he thought. “I could always ask Mum. She's a witch you know.”
Marlene couldn’t believe it. Witches and wizards are real, then? Are they actually real? “Magic is real, huh…?” She said slowly, as if just coming to the realisation.
“Of course it is!” Peter exclaimed. He grew up around magic. “My mum says I'll be allowed to do magic in a few years.”
Marlene nodded quickly, intrigued. Of course magic is real. Why wouldn't it be? It would certainly explain some things that have happened around her.
Marlene went home that day with questions to ask her dad.
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Peter was nearly 11 when he first got his letter to Hogwarts. After watching his siblings all go to Hogwarts, he was desperate for his turn to go. In all his excitement, he ran towards Marlene's house to show her the letter.
“Marlene! Marls!” He called, knocking on the door, “quick! I have something to show you!”
“This better not be another animal, Peter!” Marlene said as she opened the door. She loved animals, sure, but not the slimy ones Peter brought to her far too often.
“I got my letter!” He shoved the letter in her face before she had a chance to open the door fully.
Marlene pushed his hand down before grabbing the letter out of Peter's hand and reading it, a slow grin sliding onto her mouth as she made her way through the letter.
“Congrats, Peter!” She exclaimed, giving Peter a high five, “think I'll get my letter soon then?”
Peter nodded quickly.
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Peter was 11 when he first boarded the Hogwarts Express. It was a big train, with so many people around. He quickly spotted Marlene and her dad and ushered his mother over to go greet them. His brothers and sisters, already leaving to go do their own things before the train departed.
“Marlene! Hello!” He said, excitement lacing his voice, “are you ready? For the first year?”
Marlene pulled the boy into a hug before pulling back with her hands on his shoulders. “Of course I am! Magic! All the time! Seriously!”
The two of them get lost in conversation before both Peter's mum and Marlene's dad have to remind them to board the train.
Peter led Marlene onto the train, looking in through the windows of the carriages to find one that was mostly empty–if not completely empty. The first one they saw had three other boys in it, two of them already talking while the other sits with a book in his lap, wide eyes scanning the crowd outside.
“Hello. Do yous mind if I–we–sit?” He asked. His mother always taught him to be polite.
With a quick agreement of the two loud boys and a quiet murmur that sounds like an affirmative, Peter and Marlene sat on the seat next to the scarred boy. Peter held out his hand to the other, “My name's Peter and–”
“–I'm Marlene.” Marlene interrupted, nudging Peter in the arm. She didn't need to be introduced. Peter just offered a sheepish smile in return.
“Remus.” The boy offered quickly, head turning to the pair before back out the window. Peter watched for a moment longer before turning to Marlene. The boy has captured Peter's attention.
Marlene did most of the talking with Peter occasionally glancing at the boy–Remus–throughout the ride. He hadn't even noticed when Marlene stopped talking and looked at him with a raised eyebrow.
“Peter,” she said, nudging the man, “are you even listening?” When Peter glanced back at Marlene, her face was scrunched up slightly, brows furrowed, nose wrinkled and one side of her lip hitched up.
“Yeah, I’m listening. Definitely listening.” Peter nodded, lips pressed together and eyes wide. Marlene's expression didn’t change but she rolls her eyes and drops her head against the back of the seat. She looked at him in the side of her eye.
Peter slowly offered an apologetic smile, and he started up the conversation this time, the boy next to him completely–thats a lie–forgotten. Yep. 100% forgotten.
When they got to Hogwarts, the two loud boys–he hadn’t even gotten their names–nearly ran out of the compartments. Marlene stood first, throwing a discreet middle finger at the duo.
“Not your type of people?” Peter asks humorously, a laugh in his voice. He could see Marlene roll her eyes as she followed the crowd of people out of the train with Peter right on her tail.
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The sorting went about exactly how Peter feared it would. The hat sat on his head for nearly 5 whole minutes! His cheeks were flushed by the time he was told to sit at the Gryffindor table. At least Marlene–and the boy from the train, Peter noted–were in Gryffindor too.
The feast commenced soon after–everything after Peter's sorting seemed to go so much quicker anyways–and the two loud boys from the train introduced themselves. Marlene didn’t bother to hide her distaste, Peter noted. Peter made small talk with the people around them, though he did quietly listen most of the time.
After the feast finished, the first years were led to the dorms. Turns out, Peter roomed with the people from the train! Sirius Black, James Potter and Remus. Remus never said his last name. Peter needed to stop thinking about him.
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Years go by and Peter finds himself surrounded by a large friend group. Marlene introduced him to her friends and he finds them all nice. He has yet to get over this interest in Remus, even after seeing him and Sirius start getting closer than friends. He feels a pang of something every time he thinks about it.
He's happy with them all. He'd be happy to be surrounded by these people for the rest of his life. The only thing he would maybe want to change is talking to Remus. Maybe if he started talking to that nervous boy on the train, they could have been something like how Sirius and Remus are. But that's all hopeful thinking–he shouldn’t get too caught up in it.