i keep seeing people referring to her as the like. trolley operator. as she does the trolley problem over and over and over again. but the first one she sacrificed was herself. she knew there wasnt a way out of this for her if she took over. and she took over anyway. she made every awful choice. she sent the closest thing she had to a friend to die. but at least nobody else had to make these choices. no one else had to be blamed.
she saved the world. and she killed for it. and she saved the world.
eva stratt got me acting Ridiculous. like that woman is such a Character. she did so many awful things. she saved the world. this doesnt change anything. she paved the sahara. she nuked antarctica. she made thousands of small awful decisions. and she will suffer for them.
all of drivers stuff comes from his issues with control. mans got extreme control issues. shows up as self control as a way to punish himself. hes scared of taking. like so so scared. partially for other reasons but mostly hes scared he’ll go too far and his partner will get scared off and leave him. and what he wants most of all is to be Kept
SO. with that as the basis. the Main Two. Pet Play. Obviously. and also Bondage.
1) Pet Play
that man is autistic. have you ever met an autistic person that doesnt feel like a something performing humanity?
yeah of course you have. but driver definitely feels like he never got socialized properly.
pup play specifically.
he thinks of himself as a stray dog that must be muzzled and taught a lesson.
now what he Also wants from this, that he doesnt let himself acknowledge or ask for, is to be Kept. to be treated gently. to be a beloved pet no matter how much he bites.
and he will bite.
its just in his nature.
dont get me wrong, he also enjoys the rough treatment. has a great time with it.
but sometimes he wants someone to be soft with him. even when he still has sharp edges and a primed stinger
which brings us to my second point…
2) Bondage (specifically as the bottom)
keep that dog Restrained.
you see, he doesnt trust himself not to sting. doesnt trust his self control to keep him entirely in check. doesnt trust himself not to hurt his partner.
but if there happens to be something keeping him bound. keeping him restrained. keeping him from lashing out
then he can actually let his self control go a bit
suddenly this man whos barely verbal can start making all manner of pretty noises
can whimper and whine and
woah hey i got away from myself there.
hes scared of his self control failing. if theres something else to keep him contained then hes Allowed to let it fail and finally try to fight and claw and Take. but he cant <3 because hes tied up <3 and he feels so secure in it <3
this isnt something he lets himself indulge in often. its dangerous to let someone have that much control over him. he loves not being in control (so much stress hes under All The Time) but its not safe. so he doesnt let it happen much
oh also
3) He fucks his car
idk what the actual kink here is. mechanophilia?
regardless. he fucks that car
that car is his most trusted companion. she has taken him all over. where does he go when he feels he has nowhere else? Car. For A Drive.
hes literally Driver who would he be if he didnt have his car
mans got a profound sense of loneliness about him of Course hes gonna have a weird attachment to his car. and this includes fucking said car.
actually
making love to said car
ive got more but these are my main things for driver. hes so self control he really just wants to give that up for a bit. but he wont let himself. we all know what happened in that elevator. he lost the best thing that ever happened to him because he just couldnt control himself.
(its not self control. its avoidance and punishment. he lets himself want something and then when its torn away by His Own Bad Choices he blames a lack of self control)
im rewatching stay 2005 and basically just doing a full film analysis because i wanna write a fic where henry doesnt die and instead has to deal with survivors guilt a traumatic brain injury and a loose grasp on reality. and he gets a happy ending anyway.
rygos looks So Bad in the gray man. yeah sure hes. jacked i guess. but something with the goatee and the Zero Percent Body Fat is just Bad
literally we see him shirtless and instead of it being hot i just get Horrified and filled with the desire to pour water down his throat. make him eat a fucking grilled cheese or something. he looks so goddamn shrink wrapped it makes me sick
hey man would u mind explaining more about driver's mechanophilia (if that's what it's called) i really need to see him fuck his car
i would not mind At All
i am however Not a car guy and i also gotta ramble first. so its under a readmore to be polite
so. what do i mean when i say driver fucks his car.
driver is a man defined by what he does. He Drives. his entire identity is built around cars, but really His Car in particular. shes special. she is his home. she is safety. he cant handle the world? goes back to her. goes out with her. takes her for a drive.
he takes care of her. hes devoted to her. he keeps her nice and clean and well maintained. god i cannot express clearly enough how much he Loves His Car.
all this to say. its not just that he fucks his car. they got History. he takes care of her. she takes care of him. or, he takes care of himself for her. in her. on her. wherever she’ll have him.
he loves taking care of her though. getting his hands in her. pulling out her oily (bloody) guts. taking her apart with his bare hands (and maybe some tools when needed) and fixing whatever is broken. putting her back together Better.
maybe sometimes pulling her apart just because. maybe he was bored. maybe the desire to Be Good was itching under his skin and the one thing he knows he is truly Good at is held somewhere within her. pulling her apart, piece by piece. fixing whatever he can, but really just taking her apart to take her apart. hands covered in grease. he may not find himself in there but finding her is just as good.
and maybe after he finishes putting her back together. he is sweaty. and tired. and takes his place inside her. and is now just another piece of her that he can inspect, can poke and finger and find the vulnerabilities of. and taking care of himself is fine if hes taking care of Her.
because just as much as She is His, He is Hers. and its His job to make sure She runs properly. including all of her parts. even if that part is Him.
and then he masturbates in his car and as much as it is maintenance it is also devotion and making her feel as taken care of as she makes him and he makes a bit of a mess on her seats but its okay because she made a mess of his hands and he can clean it up. he’ll always clean her up.
