#moosecaseatingwillgrahamcrackers

[thatwholebrevitything]

"#i was clean of you for so long" oh my /god/ why is this so fucking hilarious to me. . . . p.s. being high helps.

I WAS THOUGH

LIKE YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW

I got to a point where my Dean Winchester/Jensen Ackles problem was down to a “ohhh, I’ll reblog that- baby is pretty” and THAT WAS IT

THAT WAS THE EXTENT OF IT, DONE IN A CLICK

AND HERE I AM, IN THE GODDAMN TAG AGAIN GOING “AHHHH NOOO HELLLP”

I was clean of him for so long

FOR SO FUCKING LONG

and then one little burst of feels

I need to go to bed goddammit I go back to work tomorrow

SOMEONE SEND HELP

[fandomfrolics]

Something funny in which Bucky's metal arm is awkward. Like, who wants to wake up with a metal arm in the morning when someone left the window open and it's -10 outside. Or rust spots. Or maybe a hinge is squeaky. Or maybe he sits at the kitchen table and shines it with a polishing rag. Or he strategically uses it to blind people by reflecting the sun. Or maybe he gets into an arm wrestling contest with Tony over whose metal arm is better. I just have a lot of Winter Soldier arm feels.

Clint was just trying to eat a sandwich. A delicious, gooey, banana nutella sandwich, lightly toasted over an open flame, before he went back to sleep. He never asked for this. Curiosity killed the cat, they say. Well nobody ever told curiosity fucking blinded the Hawk.

It started off soft, subtle. He was just slathering some nutella onto a slice of bread and then, right on the edge of his hearing, it came. A gentle squeaking noise. He'd tilted his head, trying to figure out if it was coming from one of the many overly complicated appliances around the room (Tony had a habit of tinkering with things during mealtimes. It drove Steve nuts, especially after Bruce shocked himself on a newly modified microwave and hulked out right there in the kitchen. You think Tony would have stopped after that but really it just made him tinker more).

Unable to pinpoint the sound, and deciding it was quiet enough, he went back to scooping out giant spoons of nutella. He'd mastered this sandwich over the years - half a jar of nutella, two bananas sliced thin, and three slices of bread - perfection.

He paused in licking his fingers. The sound was getting louder. Louder and screechier and more insistent. He picked up a banana, then sighed, deciding he really should check it out. Living here in the tower rent-free was great and all but you definitely had to be ready for crazy shit at all hours of the night.

Banana in hand, Clint creeped forward, having decided the sound wasn't coming from anywhere within the kitchen.

The noise got louder as he stepped into the hallway. It was high-pitched and regular, like a machine with some small bit gone awry, or metal that had been neglected and ungreased for far too long. As he crept down the hall toward the guest rooms, he thought he heard a soft murmur. He pressed his back against the wall and slid forward, hefting the banana high in one hand.

He was definitely going the right way - the murmurs were louder now but still undistinguishable, and there were strange gasps joining them, as if the person making them was getting hit with something over and over again.

The squeaking had reached a fever pitch at that point - the noises were coming so fast it sounded like they were all merging into one and the gasps and murmurs had turned to a string of indecipherable moans. Clint reached a closed door and paused. He stared at it for a moment, trying to figure out who was behind it.

"Barnes!" he whispered sharply as it came back to him. The guy had a list of enemies a mile long. Without wasting another second, Clint kicked the door open, pulling his arm back to launch the banana at whoever was attacking the poor man behind it.

"Arghlhglghahaglrhgl!" Bucky screamed as he…as he…he…

"What the fuck!" Clint yelped. Because the last thing he'd been expecting to find when he busted the door open was Bucky Barnes, a thick glove on one hand, releasing his special brand of Winter juice all over the bed while hardcore fetish porn played in the background.

Once Bucky was done, he looked over at Clint, his long sweaty hair plastered to his face. His eyes traced their way up Clint's aghast face, past his raised arm to the banana clenched tightly in Clint's hand. "If you wanted to do something with that, you're a little late," he said, the words breathless but deadpan.

Clint's eyes widened further than he'd ever thought possible. He blinked, looking up to the banana and back down to Bucky, who was now smirking at him and not even trying to cover himself up.

Clint opened his mouth, closed it, opened it again, and then finally just chucked the banana hard at Bucky's chest.

"Use some lube next time!" he yelled and he turned sharply on his heel, trying desperately to ignore the completely unstifled chortling behind him.

Maybe he'd skip the bananas this time.

[thatwholebrevitything]

I was tagged by Jen who had a totally cool Harry Potter birthday party, apparently...

Always post the rules.

Answer the questions of the person who tagged you and write 11 new ones. 

Tag 11 people and link them. 


Let them know that they are

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  My Questions:

1. What’s the most awkward sexual dream you’ve ever had?

I'm suddenly not sure I should have agreed so quickly to do this thing. Uhm, one time after a particularly good RP I had a dream that I (well, it was kind of me, you know how sometimes in dreams you're you, but a different person you?) was taking my baby cousin through a haunted house, but she let go of my hand and in the midst of trying to find her, I enlisted the shorter of the Winchester brothers into helping me find her. Things were getting pretty heated and in a flash we were no longer in the haunted house but in my bedroom at home and my mom was yelling in the kitchen and he got weirded out and left through my window. Kinda awkward I guess?

2. If you could buy a company or corporation, which one would you choose?

I would legit buy Spencer's. I like working for them well enough, and I have some ideas on things. I have a pretty good idea what they're about.

3. How do you feel about pandas?

They're cute! Especially the little red ones!

4. Where’s Waldo?

No idea. I can hardly keep track of me!

5. If you could switch bodies with anyone for a day who would you choose and what would you spend your day doing?

Oh jeez. Uhmm... Someone who is a travel writer. And travel/write.

6. What is your favorite big cat species?

Tigers. Hands down.

7. What is your family’s strangest tradition (you know, that thing that you mention around your friends and they look at you funny and you realize that no one else does that apparently)?

Hmmm... I don't know that we have any weird traditions,really, but we have a lot of really dumb inside jokes like "Cujo ate your mama" and the "Dave voice."

8. If you had a weird nickname as a kid (or even if you still do), what’s the story behind it?

I get "Nah" a lot still. My sister couldn't say "Shawna" when she was little, so she called me Na-na for a while. I had a couple of friends over once while Mom was watching home movies, and they overheard and thought it was adorable. So it got shortened to Nah.

9. Favorite 90’s band?

What kind of question is this? You want me to choose? Uhm, I guess Bush since 3 Doors Down just missed the 90s cutoff. Unless you're going to allow Bowling For Soup, in which case, definitely fucking Bowling For Soup.

10. On a scale of 1 to 10, how awesome am I (I’m asking for a friend)?

10/10, I mean, let's not lie, you're pretty fucking awesome.

11. Tweedle-dee or Tweedle-dum?

Tweedle-dee, it's just way more fun to say!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

What's your astrological sign and does it suit you?

Where do you work, or where do you want to work?

Favorite movie from the last five years?

What's the weirdest thing you've ever said to a significant other/potential interest?

What have you been dying to say all week?

Dogs or cats? Explain yourself.

What is the most played song in your music library?

What kind of computer do you have and how old is it?

Favorite holiday?

Have you retired your summer flipflops yet?

Coke or Pepsi products?

AND I TAG:

Hmmm... pinwheelsanddeals, sanityhasleftusblind, brienne-the-blue, mistress-of-the-night, moosecaseatingwillgrahamcrackers, moreglitter,saintpumpkinspicelatte, spookyscarykaiju, aceadventurer, gastaltered, two-spoopy