#mooshiplier

[mrsdoctormuffin]

She didn't need him. She was strong on her own. She simply wanted to save him... In the end she saved herself. Getting a best friend out of it and a love she never thought was possible.

Random quote from stories I'll never write.

[mrsdoctormuffin]

She looked at him and saw home. She looked at herself and saw nothing anyone could love or wanted to love. He looked at her and saw sunlight for the first time. He looked at himself and saw a withered, torn, broken man; who felt he should suffer alone. She didn't want to break him... He didn't want to get too close... She made him breakfast and dinner every day; leaving him notes of encouragements to get through the day. To let him know that he was loved. He always made sure that their was always enough space on his desk; so whenever she decided to stop by, she would have a place to come work and have a safe space to share with him. She loved him the moment she thought she lost him forever... He loved her the moment he found her crumpled in the snow; vowing to never let her go. To never go into battle alone. She felt fear, regret, loss, doubt and addiction. He felt everything amplified... A failure who hates mages and is trying his hardest to amend. With each touch, caress, laugh, embrace, argument, fight, battle, kiss, and warm intertwined peaceful nights rest; he found a way to his sunrise. She found a long way round to her home.

The lion. The fox.

[mrsdoctormuffin]

I'm so tempted to write a DAI story, but I know I would just do it injustice.

[mooshiplier-inthedark]

I am not the future that I want you to be.

A line from a dream I had this morning.

[mooshiplier-inthedark]

"I find it painfully beautiful that you are and were willing to tear yourself to shreds, break down everything you stood for and attempt to kill yourself, if it meant those kids lived." "They're just kids... They don't deserve any pain. I tried to take it all, losing myself to my own nightmare, even if it meant a few moments of peace." "Your kind heart will always be your downfall... You'll run yourself ragged until you can't run anymore. Foolish." "I'll keep crawling then... I won't be a coward like you. I'll die with what's left of myself if it means losing myself in the process. It's a risk I'm willing to to take. And I'll lose... But I'll protect these kids no matter what happens to me."

A player's foolish promise (fn@f 4 - Golden humanity, blackened monster)

[mooshiplier-inthedark]

I'm just having one of those nights where I'm wondering why I'm still breathing. I keep asking myself why I'm still here... Then I remember how excited I am for fallout 4 and all the movies coming out in the next few years. And although I feel like giving up, I know I'd miss out on so much. Maybe I'm just tired, Idk. I'm just trying... I'm fine. I'm fine.

[mrsdoctormuffin]

Sometimes I like being home alone. Theirs no one here to interfere with the silence that comes with no one talking or wanting anything from me. I can just feel at peace and know that the world is calm and okay. Then there are times when I need noise and voices to break the silence because I am afraid of being alone. I feel empty when I don't hear people talking or dogs barking... When all I can hear is the voices and ringing in my head. I grow afraid because I feel small and unwanted and useless... Everything comes at me all at once and I can't stop it. I'm afraid and messy and weak. I don't know if in those moments that I will be able to stop myself from ending this existence, from ending my life... I try to have those moments fewer and fewer, but they are always there when I think I'm doing alright. I don't mind noise. I don't mind silence. I don't mind being alone. But when I need help or friends or people, I don't mind reaching out. Even if I have no one to reach out to... I don't care much for being content with being by myself. I just hold on to the idea that I will see the sun in the morning, when all I see is darkness.

[mrsdoctormuffin]

Today is the first day where I have fully accepted Daniels passing. I feel at peace. I still have a long way to go before I am fully okay... But I am at least not empty or angry anymore. Daniel wouldn't want that anyway... He would want us to laugh and joke, to poke fun and be as weird as possible. I can end today knowing that I can make it through because of him and because of so many great people before me. I'm smiling and laughing and I feel at ease. I miss him so very very much, but I know he would want us to be happy. I will never forget you, you sweet, beautiful soul. Rest easy and fly high.