#mor rambles

[liyazaki]

bathroom makeover: retro lesbian edition 💕

art (in small frames) by creative powerhouse @jeniferprince (I’m ordering prints, but could I wait for them to arrive? lol)

[mors-evil-clone]

I miss when slop game ads were lovingly made by artists faking a good game in the ad with better graphics and gameplay. Instead of it being made by soulless generative AI. Like where's the whimsy in humans advertising to humans. Its annoying yeah but at least its a person. Why do I want an npc advertising me fake slop that was never made by a person anyway

[nohr-and-thirst]

@nougatships​ made this a trend, so now I can show you all the powerpoint I show to everyone when they first meet me, and they see all the merch I own of Osamu. I had to translate this to English, and it took me a whole month to do I am so sorry!!!

[liyazaki]

didn’t expect news of MewTul’s proposal to shock me out of my BL coma- while I’m getting ready for a body paint transformation ala your favorite artist’s favorite artist- but here we are.

how the hell are ya & happy gay Christmas 🗽🎃

[liyazaki]

I’ve gotten some asks about sharing my cats- you don’t have to ask a cat lady to spill the (toe)beans twice (I’ll see myself out).

I give you el gato #1, my eldest: Aaron Purr (the white kitten doing yoga).

I fostered kittens before rona & Aaron was an intentional foster fail from the Hamilkitties litter.

he’s had a toe fetish since birth, for both his own toes & unfortunately everyone else’s (see video exhibit #2) & is the living, breathing embodiment of a himbo: big of heart, dumb of ass.

I’m pretty sure he was a golden retriever in a previous life. he’s the only cat I’ve ever met that actually likes belly rubs & he used to play fetch before he contracted pure lazy disease.

he has giant, goofy eyes & my friends have actually memed the pics below (help yourself & please tag me if you use them- it would make my week).

art by my hella talented sister

he’s also obsessed with me: the boy will see me leave the apartment, then go sit outside my office & cry & cry & cry, hoping I’ll magically materialize. if he can’t be glued to my side at all times, everyone’s gonna hear about it (literally).

when I’m GIFFing or gaming in said office & I haven’t paid attention to him in sooooo long (i.e. 5 minutes), he’ll stretch himself up & oh-so-gently pat my face with his paw- also while crying. have I mentioned the whole “loves to cry” thing yet?

cries in loaf 🍞

Aaron also has allergies & let me tell you: hearing heavy breathing only to look up & see this face staring back with maximum creep intensity is, uh- it’s something.

Alexa, play Every Breath You Take by The Police

he has zero shame, few brain cells & I adore him.

[liyazaki]

my downstairs neighbor (a saint who’s decided to adopt me): do you think you could pick me up some butter while you’re at the store?

me (thrilled she’s finally letting me do SOMETHING for her): ON IT 🫡

cut to me giving her the butter & her handing me a bag before basically running off into the night before I could give it back to her (she’s slick).

inside the bag? two sweaters she randomly bought because she thought I’d like them (I do) & she knows I’m about to go to Europe where it’s chilly, plus a freaking $20 bill.

neighbor: 1000 points; me: negative 10/🥺😭💀

[liyazaki]

"specially abled" and "disabled" are absolutely, unequivocally not interchangeable terms. & yeah, it actually is that deep.

I wish my autoimmune disease made me specially abled instead of regularly ill. I'm a pro now at managing constantly-changing treatment regimens, coordinating monthly (if not more) doctor visits & endless bloodwork, but alas- that's not a superpower. it's the day-to-day reality of living with a disability.

I can only speak as a someone who was relatively healthy before I got sick, but the mourning period I went through was brutal. getting diagnosed with an incurable disease brings a metric fuckton of grief with it, requiring a huge perspective shift.

I'm an intensely independent, self-reliant person- sometimes to my own detriment. unsurprisingly, coming to terms with this new reality was no small task.

when I was finally diagnosed, I made a playlist (my go-to coping mechanism). I played one song on a loop because of its namesake line, & it still packs an emotional gut-punch for me: "I needed to lose you to love me."

I was angry at my body for 'failing' me- for having zero control over such an all-important outcome (my health). I had to reconcile myself to the reality that my life was different now. I had to lose my old view of myself to love the new version that needed more sleep, more sick days, more accommodations.

it took me years to get comfortable using the term "disability" to help describe what's now a big part of my lived experience (especially since mine is invisible). it went from being a foreign term I could've never imagined using for myself to my bridge to self acceptance.

(note: I have my own complex relationship with the term, as do most people. I’m talking about the harm in equating terms here, not implying that anyone should use these words to describe themselves. that’s entirely up to the individual.)

there's nothing romantic about my disease- a quality that "specially abled" imbues for me. do I- & all disabled people- have special abilities, valuable experience & unique skills? you bet your ass we do. one has absolutely nothing to do with the other.

every person has the right to choose the terms they're comfortable with to describe their experience. for me? treating "disability" like a dirty word 1) glosses over (if not entirely erases) the very real, life-altering struggle inherent to my condition, & 2) muddies the waters, potentially making it even more difficult for disabled people to get the accommodations we need when we need them.

using terms like "specially abled" isn't some evil, awful thing, though. if anything, it tells me that the person is trying to be delicate & respectful with their word choices. I genuinely appreciate that, even if it's misguided (in my opinion).

when in doubt? listen to how people describe themselves. honor them by using the same descriptors (unless they tell you otherwise). choose to believe people when they tell you how terms affect them.

forgive yourself if you don't always get it right- who does? perfection isn't the point- effort is the point. kindness is the point. respect is the point. how we get there is as varied as people, but it starts with the words we use.

[liyazaki]

August’s first brush with “love” was, in fact, Sara holding up a mirror. she introduced him to his tender, terrifying potential for the first time.

an “oh- there you are. I’ve been looking for you” meeting, with all the bittersweet joy & life-altering ramifications that come with it.