WELL THAT WAS... a movie. 🤷🏼♀️
First some non-spoilery bits:
Fair game: it wasn't as bad as expected.
Childish as fucking hell (those flying scenes... c'mon now... 🙄) but it was watchable.
Nooooooo way am I ever sitting through that again! ✋️🙄
Performances: sorry echeboos but your boy SUCKED AAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSS. 🤦🏼♀️
No life in him whatsoever (pun intended!). 😴
He was at least a tad bit less catatonic than in TO, but that's not much of a compliment! He once again busted out that Barry White baritone which he uses to show how ssssssserious he is about what he's doing. 🙄
Matt Smith by comparison was 🔥. He really out-acted JL in every scene he appeared in - and his performance actually only highlighted how lackluster JL was. 🤦🏼♀️
MS's acting grade: A- because he gave his all even tho the material was 🙄.
JL's acting grade: C because he gave TOO MUCH without actually giving anything! 🤷🏼♀️
I just don't get it! Maybe it's because I know too much of his bs to ever be able to be objective about him on screen but holy fuck once again he seemed to be operating on a whole different frequency from everyone else! 🤷🏼♀️
And as far as Not-Eiza goes...
Pfffft. Useless character and zero chemistry with JL. 👎
Also useless: Tyrese. Literally ANYONE could have played that role, and his police partner was actually a lot better and funnier! 🤷🏼♀️
I have no opinion on the much-hated CGI because I don't watch CGI movies. I have no idea if they were good or not.
I would however love to see footage of JL growling and contorting his face while filming this thing BEFORE they added the CGI fangs and makeup and whatnot! I bet that footage would be better than this finished product! 😂
So yeah. It was watchable, but even I with 0 comic book movie knowledge can understand why diehards were not pleased. 🤷🏼♀️
Overall I'd give this a 6/10. It would have been a 5 but 1 special scene deserves its own merit (read on to find out! 😛).
DO NOT READ AHEAD IF YOU WANT TO WATCH IT WITHOUT KNOWING DEETS!!!! 🤨
My very first deeeeeep sighs came within the first 5 mins... 🙄
Why?! Why were they in Greece?! That had nothing to do with anything?! 🤨
Completely pointless side plot - AND EVERYONE IN GREECE SUDDENLY SPEAKS ENGLISH??? 😑
Pet peeve #1 right there. 🙄
Also that "cripple act" got old reeeeeeeal fast... 😴
I seriously got annoyed seeing him hobbling around to the point where I just wanted to scream "GO GET A FUCKING WHEELCHAIR!!!" 🙄👨🦽
I mean I'm sorry I know that's insensitive but COME THE FUCK ON! 🙄
Driving home this handicap thing sssssoooo haaaaarrrdddd was just super annoying! 🙄
Altho I will say that the obvious Keyser Soze reference when Milo left the jail made me chuckle... 🤭😉
Another annoyance: THE CAT LITTER THING!!!!!!
Whose cat comes running when you shake HIS/HER LITTER BOX?????????????
Shaking a plate with kibble I get, but...
Has the screenwriter ever met a cat? 🤔🐈⬛
And speaking of screenwriting errors: anyone else find it strange that towards the end when MM and MB were in the lab, they embrace and he said "You need to go...", but then HE WAS THE ONE WHO LEFT. 😂
I found that hilarious... 😂🤷🏼♀️
But wtf were those extra scenes in the credits?! I thought I was having a stroke cos suddenly there was Batman being whisked away by cops (why the f was Keaton even dragged out for this?!) and then Morblo speeding in the desert and meeting some alien robot thing...???
Saying that was weird is an extreme understatement... 😳🤔
My Top 3 fave scenes were:
#3: The scene where adult MM goes to see adult Milo for the first time and he's getting treated by the doc and they had a discussion smthg along the lines of:
Milo: "Where have you been?"
MM: "I'm trying this new thing called work, I'm sure you've never heard of it..."
Milo: "No I don't believe I have."
Somehow I can imagine JL having that same convo with... someone else. 😏
#2: Getting to hear JL utter the word "COSMO"!!! 😂
I had my reasons to giggle. 🤭
Aaaaaaaaaaaand of course the #1 HANDS DOWN BEST SCENE AND THE REASON THIS WENT FROM 5 TO 6...
IF YOU'VE SEEN THE MOVIE AND YOU'RE A REGULAR HERE...
YOU KNOW WHAT SCENE I'M TALKING ABOUT. 😂
The greatest easter egg of all time. 😂
That cafe scene with MM and MB.
Them sitting in the booth, him apologizing and her asking "How do you feel?"
You best believe I laughed out loud. 😂
He def needs a screenwriter credit for that because I KNOW FOR A FUCKING FACT HE ADDED THAT THING HIMSELF!!!!!!!!!! 🤓
That really made the whole experience a somewhat enjoyable one for me. 🙃
So yeah indeed. That's how I experienced this thing.