mortonposting on morton day
enjoy the shitty mspaint doodle. he acc looks cute imo.
yknow that one taskmaster clip where greg davies goes off script and very sincerely answers onion rings to what are two of his favourite things. thats very morty to me. onion rings are 90% of his favourite things. as they should be. id kill a small child for some onion rings rn. dont even play.
the kindest gentlest hands. he helps lemmy do his hair sometimes and it is. so nice. how are you doing this with your giant hands. massive greg davies hands. ive been getting a lot of taskmaster clips recently can you tell. how many times can mississouppi mention greg davies in a post about morton koopa jr. anyway. such gentle hands. it just takes him 9000 years to do one braid. he is so slow. do not ask him for help unless you have an extra 5-7 business days to kill. but. he is so gentle. magical hands.
king of grilling. lives to cook. born to grill. slap that on a tshirt and every bald man in the southeast us of a is gonna have that shit glued to his body. also. morty. he and roy have a. semi playful rivalry about who grills better. semi. hands have been thrown.
absolutely HATES public speaking. im a gay little clown and i like playing dolls with my favourite characters so i imagine mario kart tv do like trackside interviews after races and morty Loathes this. he is so awkward he does Not know what to say. um um um car go. fast. hes so real and relatable. larry usually takes over for him. he likes the attention morty does not.
a fiend for an encyclopedia. a FIEND. we used to have a fuckin billion massive books like the encyclopedia of dogs or rocks or horses and stuff and morty FUCKS with these. less the kiddie ones these days but he has a LOT of comprehensive encyclopedias and guides to shit like. igneous rocks of the northern darklands. the complete history of steel bridges. ok diva whatever you wanna read.
does not know the words to any song ever. not a single one. dont even try. he cant tell you. morty listens to exclusively lofi beats. he does not know Any words to Any song. girl this is so me. do not take morty to a pub quiz or bingo ever he will be absolutely USELESS. cha cha real slippery. slide to the front. slide to the back. girl what are you saying.
acts sixty rather than sixteen. ik he has one of those flip phone/wallet cases all the uncs have. i know what you are. old as FUCK. peers at his phone like the screen is gonna run away. morty born to be a grown ass man. uncmaxxing straight out the womb. morty the kind of mf to apply for a job in person. and get it. he reads large print newspapers. how old are you morty. 45 year old man in this 16 year old boys body. granted. he looks 45. bro 6'6 fuckin beard fuckin jacked i hate him.
not even remotely flexible. girl me too. hes so relatable. if you ignore the paragraph above. cannot touch his toes. cannot even fathom how lemmy does literally. anything. morty thinks cracking his knuckles is too much he does not fuck around with his bones. best posture you've ever seen though its like he has a metal rod holding him up. iggy actually does and his postures still worse. morty show me your ways.
doesnt like being in the public eye but definitely likes being involved with the public. just. dont talk about it. he doesnt like to make a spectacle of himself doing good deeds he just likes to. do them. he and his girlfriend have dates volunteering together. he tries to help where he can. the darklands is very prone to natural disasters like volcanic eruptions and intense dust storms and. he owns a construction company. your house blows away? not a problem. well yes a problem. but morton construction will help. he care you.
has sent. 3. messages. into the family group chat. just 3. he communicates through message reactions. 👍. what else does he need. if you text him a question he'll probably just materialise in your room to answer it. drives larry crazy girl just TYPE. he hates typing. morty is not a tech fan. yknow how shaq holds something and it looks TINY. morty and his phone. and he hates typos so it takes him 94 years to send one message. hes almost as bad as ludwig. has a habit of typing in all caps. just. because. why not. can a man not be quirky. can morton koopa jr not be a little quirky.
anyway. thats all folks. im on my lunch break. scranned the most dogshit wrap. tasted like construction paper.
