#mostly joke

[assbazooka]

me: yeah so..i dunno, we were friends for a long time, but she was just so mean towards the end there…for a while before that, really, and i know if i say thanks for the happy birthday message she’ll just take it as a route back into my life, you know?

the reanimated corpse of president josip broz tito of ex yugoslavia sitting in my living room hallucinating off half an edible: uhhhhhh

evil wizard i turned really small and keep inside of a bird cage, which i have draped a blanket on top of to keep him quiet: who turned off all the fucking lights?

[keets-writing-corner]

can you all IMAGINE being Vaggie???

you're an exorcist. You're supposed to kill demons. You're an angel. All you're life you've followed the first man, and heard tales about the dangers of questioning heaven. Tales about Lucifer. You know he's not to be messed with and that he's the king of hell. That heaven FEARS him to a degree.

then you show compassion to ONE demon once, against Adam's orders, and boom. Now you're cast out. You're stuck in hell. Oops this cute girl shows up??? She's taking care of you?? Clearly your intuition that maybe the sinners didn't all deserve to be killed were correct. She's nicer than a lot of people in heaven-WHAT DO YOU MEAN THIS PRECIOUS BEAN IS LUCIFER'S DAUGHTER???

clearly heaven was wrong about a lot of things, so if the big bad lucifer has a daughter this sweet, maybe something is up with him???

And then you meet him, and like, meeting your partner's parents is already nerve wracking and this is supposed to be THE king of hell, THE fallen angel, THE GUY THAT HEAVEN FEARS and the first thing he does is completely flub his words out of excitement, mispronounces your name, hugs you and calls you pretty???

like how weird is that to process????

[enderwalking]

gonna start calling c!ranboo an abuse apologist just to feel something

[nianeyna]

I think. there is only one sign of adulthood and that is. becoming obsessed with Doodads and Devices. If you are a young person and you do not care about Tools... congratulations, for your life is still ahead of you. if on the other hand, you are a young person who is very excited by the idea a Stand Mixer or 3D Printer... welcome. to the ranks of the Grown Ups. prepare to receive only Useful christmas gifts forevermore. don't worry though... you'll like it.

[dovewing]

if it ever seems like i dont care about anything except for obito.. yeah

[etirabys]

Claim: a ceteris paribus world where all the toilets had automatic flushing and a c.p. world where none of them did would both be preferable to the one we have now

[osomatsusan2015]

there's too much sexy karamatsu in this world

the masses must be stopped

[cyberwh0repuppy]

pretty transphobic that both my clinics won't refill my meds on the first fucking week of pride month 😔