How To Listen To Steven Michael Holmes' Debut Solo Album "Vacant" While Cooking Broccoli Cheese Soup Served Over White Rice
NOTICE: These are not instructions on how to cook broccoli cheese soup served over white rice. If you follow my cooking your soup will be a watery stool of near cheeseless broth, like mine.
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Steven Michael Holmes' is a musician from Iron Mountain, Michigan. His debut solo album "Vacant" is for listening to while cooking broccoli cheese soup served over white rice, among other things.
Make sure it is the coldest day of the year. You will be home alone because the university where you are employed is closed due to inclement weather. Your wife, on the other hand, still has to work. It will be your duty then, being that you are home and with the time, to cook dinner.
You are not a cook. Call your wife and ask her how to cook broccoli cheese soup served over white rice. Listen carefully because you do not know anything about cooking, really.
Now you can cue up "Vacant". Go ahead, do a little smirk/laugh about the title of the first track: Stay Warm. Get that out of the way on this -35 degree day before going any further. Try not to think about the irony too much, it will detract from your listening. On wards.
Bring three cups of water to a rolling boil. While you wait for the water to bubble over beat your hollow chest with open hands like drums in sync with the first track. Consider the upbeat nature of the riffs throughout and their clever absurdity when paired with the melancholic lyricism.
"if you'e not home stay warm tonight / whether or not you ever come home at all"
The water will begin to boil with the ascent of the songs final minute. It is the best sixty seconds of the song, a buildup not so different from the rolling stir of heated water over time. Pour in three cups of rice while the drums, piano, and guitar splash over you. The song is nearly over but it is the best part so listen closely.
Stir in three cups of white rice and remove it from the stove top. Cover and let sit until the rice absorbs the water.
Your stove is small and inconvenient and because you spent the last four to five minutes playing drums on your body you haven't started to cook the broccoli. Drop broccoli in a pan and toss periodically.
Now would be a good time to begin boiling water for the soup mix but you only have one pan large enough, and you've used it to make the rice that's currently drying out. Let the rice and broccoli sit. Wait it out.
Sit and muse. What better track than Still, There Is You for a good muse? This track was literally written for your wait. It begs reflection. Open the shades in the kitchen and peer at your half reflection in a frosted window.
"in a forest of empty trees / a nest and a broken seed / in a forest of empty seeds / the cold earth beneath our feet / when nothing's left - still there is you"
Check on your dogs in the other room. Make sure to turn up the volume so Rural Hymns (instrumental) is still audible from your room. Find your dogs sprawled out on your bed in bright patches of sunlight, asleep before their dog senses bring their eyes open and upon you, slow like. Admire their adorability but not for long. Should you hover for more than a moment the dogs will expect something, a treat or a walk. "Vacant" is not for walking your dogs, so repress that urge.
Okay. The rice and broccoli are done; combine them into a bowl large enough for them both and rinse the used pot so you can start the soup mix. Do this quietly. Nothing is boiling at this point so take advantage of the silence.
Admire the use of a kalimba to accent the striking chords tagged on to the end of verses. Go ahead, let your arms freckle with goosebumps at your absolute reverence for the instrument and how it's used there. The song is devoid of any words. This is to focus your attention, again, on the kalimba, but also the violin. Enjoy it, because Rural Hymns (instrumental) is a definite highlight of the album.
But you've been too consumed with "Vacant", you're lost in it! Rush to the stove to keep the water from boiling over. Turn the burner to medium and add the broccoli cheese soup mix.
Stir the soup occasionally, allow the steam to warm your face while the album comes to a close.
The wind outside, the real reason for the extreme cold, lashes at the thin walls of your apartment and howls with the sharp creak of its window's wooden frames. Remember now that you're alone, shut-in because of the bitter cold. Feel a bit empty, let yourself wallow. But also think of "Vacant". How it makes you feel less alone in its mutual solitude.
"it's not like you to run away from this / remember june when december hits"
Shut off the burner. Serve yourself a cup of broccoli cheese soup over white rice. Take notice--you used too much water in the soup mix. What you have made is not very good but I suppose still resembles broccoli cheese soup. So eat it. And stay warm.
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You can get Steven's killer album here, do it now.
