"I need to do a cricothyroidotomy," says Aaron, adjusting the IV line. "Eyes on my face, Phoenix, I need to start. Eyes on me, yeah?"
Phoenix looks up into Aaron's face and blinks. His eyes are very brown, eyebrows furrowed. All wavering. They can't breathe, god, they can't breathe, they try automatically and all they can do is choke on blood, oh god, they've already died multiple times they don't want to die again, but they can't–
"Eyes on me. Injection's done, I'm starting to cut, eyes on me, you'll be fine. Squeeze this, stay still, eyes on me."
Phoenix's hand feels blindly until they find... something, squeezing and squeezing and squeezing, trying to ignore the 'not breathing' part of things. But they can't breathe, they can't breathe, there's blood everywhere, it smells metallic and they're choking on it, all they get is blood, they can't breathe oh god they're dying, they're going to die again, it's over and over and it won't stop because they can't get the blood out, they can't–
"Phoenix! I need you to stay calm. I'm here for you, we're going to get you breathing, but you need to calm down. Squeeze the ball, concentrate on me, look at me, Phoenix. You'll be okay. Stay still, try and calm down, I know it's hard but you're going to be okay."
Phoenix tries. They look up at Aaron and just about see him, vision blurred and greying, squeezing less than before. They try to concentrate on staying still, not the blood, not their mouth that hurts so much, it's agonising, not– not–
There's a strange feeling in their windpipe, like something's being pushed inside. It feels weird and wrong and they don't like it.
They can't move. They can't take it out. Their windpipe doesn't hurt so much but everything else does and they can't even move. It's easier to breathe now but god, it hurts. They gasp, trying to gulp in air, that doesn't work, and then it feels weird and tastes kind of metallic but there's air, there's air, oh god there's air. It's much further down than they're used to but they can breathe again, they can do it, there's air and everything's not quite so fuzzy anymore.
Hurts, though. It's okay, they've had worse.
"You've got it Phoenix. You're doing it, you're okay, keep your eyes on me and keep breathing. It's just me here, you're doing well. Focus on me."
Phoenix tries to obey, gripping the sides of the bed for balance, the cold grounding them.
"That's good. You're doing well. The next thing we need to do is splint your broken bones, before they heal wrong and we have to rebreak them. I'll give you morphine through your IV, and another injection of lidocaine, that should help with the pain. I need to wire your jaw, it'll be scary but given your healing factor it shouldn't be for long. Okay? You're getting there, Phoenix, you're doing really well. Focus on me, try to stay calm."
Phoenix tries, they really do. They can breathe now, that's good, it's not breathing through their mouth but it's still air. But as Aaron turns to fetch the wire, Phoenix panics. The only reason they don't thrash is that some part of their brain knows that it would be a bad idea to knock the IV out. Aaron won't be pleased with them and he might punish them, or stop giving them painkillers.
Why is he giving them painkillers again? They don't need them. They don't need them to be gentle, it's weird.
"Try to calm down. It's okay, Phoenix, you're going to be okay. You don't need to look so disbelieving at the painkillers, y'know? Squeeze this as hard as you can. It won't be wired for long. You'll have to eat liquid food, but it's okay, I promise. Let's get this done before you heal wrong."
And Phoenix... they shut down. There's wire and what looks like pliers and Aaron's going to feed them and give them painkillers, and they can't cope. They're terrified and they don't understand, and they just... shut down completely.
The world is fuzzy, their heart pounding, everything seems far away. It's all... wrong.
They'll understand at some point, maybe. But not now. Not when they're not even here.
They don't know where they are. But it's not here.
me 3-4 months ago: yknow i don’t really like the Vees, i might not include them a lot. and if i do, i probably won’t make them too deep. do the bad guys really deserve to be get to have their stories shared?
me one month ago: yknow i don’t really like sera, i might not include her a lot. and if i do, i probably won’t go too far into her past. did she really even have a ‘traumatic backstory?’
me two weeks ago: yknow i don’t really like lute, i might not include her a lot. why does she deserve enough content to go over her trauma/backstory/reason for being who she is?
me yesterday, scribbling down things i absolutely cannot mention right now: i think i see a pattern
Persona 4 | Souyo | Third year, pre-relationship | Rated F for Fluff
Happy birthday, @livefreeordie13! You are my friend, and I like you a lot! \o/
For prompt #6: “I think about you all the time.”
---
It was Yosuke’s turn to call him today, so Souji sat on the floor of his bedroom, patiently folding paper cranes while he waited.
They had spoken to each other on the phone nearly every day since Souji had left Inaba, and Souji was grateful that Yosuke always seemed eager to hear from him. Even if it was just a quick call after school on his way to Junes, or while he was drifting off to sleep after a long day—Yosuke made time for Souji, and that meant the world to him.
The ringtone Souji had specifically assigned to Yosuke started playing, and Souji smiled, like he always did. It was a song Yosuke had shared with him to cheer him up when things had been at their worst, and now Souji knew every word and every note of the track.
“Hey, Yosuke,” Souji greeted warmly, putting his phone on speaker and setting it on his desk so he could keep folding.
“Hey, Partner!” Yosuke said happily, and Souji smiled again. He would never get tired of that enthusiasm. “What are you up to?”
“Cranes.”
“Haha, again? Are you trying to set a world record for ‘most paper cranes folded’ or something?”
“No, but now that you say that, it sounds pretty good. I think that’ll be my goal now.”
Instead of dismissing the joke like Souji expected him to, Yosuke said, “Well, if anyone can do it, it’s you. I believe in you, Partner!”
“Thank you,” Souji said dumbly, becoming flustered for a moment before he could think of a better reply. “If I do break the record, you’ll be the first one I invite to the party.”
“The party?”
“Yeah, to celebrate my success.”
“Oh man, a party thrown by you? I can see it now. It’s gonna be a total rager,” Yosuke laughed.
“Of course. It’ll be the most enraged of ragers.”
“That doesn’t even make sense!”
“Honestly, it would probably just end up being you and me sitting in a room drinking something like, not even alcoholic, and we would try to clink our glasses together and probably spill lemonade everywhere—”
“When did it turn into lemonade?”
“—and then you’d be all ‘Congrats, Partner,’ and yeah, that would probably be it.”
Souji expected Yosuke to laugh at the image he had created, or to call it lame and throw out ideas for an actual rager…
“I mean, as long as I’m there with you, I’m down for whatever.”
Souji dropped his paper crane.
Why? Souji mentally asked Yosuke, picking his crane back up off the floor. Why must you say such cute things?
Not about to say anything remotely like that out loud, Souji asked, “So what are you doing right now?”
Not seeming to notice the abrupt change of subject, Yosuke answered, “I’m doing homework! Kind of.”
“Are you just doodling in the margins?”
“Not just the margins, Partner—the whole paper! Because, you know, there’s no notes on the page…”
Souji sighed. “Do I need to hang up so you can get your homework done?”
“No! No no no! Please don’t hang up! I’ll actually do it later, I promise!”
“Calm down, I’m not actually gonna hang up on you.”
“Okay, good.”
“That does remind me, though… Lately I’ve been daydreaming in class a lot. Sometimes I’ll just completely space out, and by the time I space back in, I realize I haven’t been paying attention for an entire lecture.”
“For real? Did my bad habits rub off on you?”
“Why do you sound like that? What are you doing now?”
“Finished drawing. Balancing a pencil on my nose. Crap! I dropped it. Anyways, you’re supposed to be the good student between the two of us, man! We can’t both be slacking off!”
“Sorry, Yosuke.”
Before Souji could say anything else, Yosuke suddenly asked, “What do you think about?”
“Hm?”
“When you’re daydreaming all that time—what are you thinking about?”
“Well… I think about last year a lot, and how I wish I was still there with everyone, and I think about recipes I want to make, and movies I want to see, and what I want to do after high school, and… you. Mostly you, actually,” Souji accidentally admitted.
“Me? What about me?”
Now that Souji had let the cat peek its head out of the bag, he wasn’t entirely sure he would be able to keep the rest of it in the bag for much longer.
“I think about all the crazy and terrible and amazing times we had together last year, and how I wish was still there with you. I think about recipes I want to make for you to try, and the faces you’ll make when you’re eating them. I think about movies I want to see, whether or not you would like them, the discussions we would have after we watched them together… I think about how badly I want to do whatever it takes to have more of you in my life after I finish this stupid third year… Yeah, all the time. I think about you all the time.”
“Partner, that’s… um, unexpected. I’m sure someone like you has better things to think about than me.”
Souji shook his head. “No. I don’t. Not more important than you, no.”
“You’re exaggerating, right? To make me feel good?”
“I’m not. Does it make you feel good?”
“Well, yeah, sure it does. Being on someone’s mind makes me feel special, y’know? Especially your mind.”
“You seem surprised, Yosuke. You really don’t have any idea how important you are to me, do you?”
“I guess not? I don't know, it’s just… hard to believe. Do you know why I always make sure we talk to each other like this? I mean, obviously I don’t want you to be lonely, and I want to make sure you’re doing okay, but also like, I just don’t want you to forget me.”
Souji scoffed, immediately covering his mouth afterwards because he definitely hadn’t meant to do that, even if what Yosuke had said was completely ludicrous.
Forget you? With the amount of running around you do in my mind, how on earth could I possibly forget you?
Souji quickly tried to find a way to convey that sentiment to Yosuke in a less creepy way.
“The only way I could ever forget you is if I had a major head injury, like blunt force trauma, and I forgot everything… or, if I, you know, died.”
“Partner! Don’t say shit like that!”
“My problem isn’t forgetting you; my problem is remembering you too much. Seriously, it’s constant. But actually, yeah, no, I don’t want to think of you any less, not really…”
“Heh, is this what it feels like to be flattered? You’re really something else, Partner. Oh hey, I’ve gotta go; my mom’s calling me for dinner.”
“Okay,” Souji sighed, feeling like he had sort of just poured his heart out (in a subtle yet super vulnerable and embarrassing way?), and yet the conversation had not come anywhere close to a satisfying resolution. “Tell her I said hi.”
“Will do! She’ll be thrilled, haha. She’s actually trying out one of the recipes you left her, so I’ll let you know how it goes. Don’t worry though; it’s definitely not gonna be as good as when you make it.”
Souji rediscovered his smile, happy that Yosuke would be thinking about him after he hung up—comparing his mother’s cooking against Souji’s own while he ate, remembering the times Souji had made the dish for him, coming up with an evaluation to share with Souji after the meal was done…
“Your loyalty is appreciated.”
“All right, Partner, thanks for talking to me.”
“Yosuke? I’m sorry if anything I said was too weird.”
“All you ever say is weird stuff, man. I’m used to it.”
“Pfft, okay, bye.”
“Talk to you later!”
Yosuke hung up, and Souji finished off the crane he was working on, setting the red paper bird on his desk in a row with several other red cranes. He took a photo and sent it off to Yosuke with the caption: “It’s like your shirt.”
Satisfied with that, Souji stood up so he could go make his own dinner, but a text from Yosuke stopped him in his tracks.
Instead of a reply about his picture, he opened up an unexpected picture from Yosuke.
It was of his notebook, the one he had been doodling in at the beginning of their conversation.
The first thing that caught his eye was a big-headed (chibi?) doodle of himself (the distinct bowl cut was a dead giveaway) in the middle of the page, holding his sword and wearing his TV World glasses. He also appeared to be on fire? Or maybe that was a representation of Persona power?
Whatever it was, it was adorable.
Souji’s gaze flitted across the full page, his breaths growing more shallow as he took it all in: Izanagi and Jiraiya doing cool(?) action poses next to each other, a bento box that looked very much like the ones Souji used to prepare for Yosuke every day, a half-melted snowman wearing Souji’s grey scarf and Nanako’s Loveline hat, a Mega Beef Bowl from Aiya’s and stick figure versions of all their friends drowning in it…
It took Souji a minute to realize it, but every single doodle across the page was somehow related to himself, and the memories he and Yosuke shared together.
In the bottom corner of the page, one doodle was squeezed in that must have been the last one Yosuke drew. It was the two of them standing side-by-side in front of a house (but it didn’t look like any house that Souji recognized?) with their arms around each other’s shoulders. They were wearing big happy faces, and one of Yosuke’s arms was in the air, as if he was waving.
The circular sun with squiggly rays coming out of it was in the sky above them, smiling and wearing sunglasses, ironically. There was a thing in front of the house that Souji didn’t recognize at first until he saw the bike next to it; it was a half-pipe.
Then Souji squinted at another part of the doodle and zoomed in on the image, not quite believing his eyes.
In the front window of the house, there was a cat peeking through, big and fluffy just like Souji liked.
Was that supposed to be… their house?
“No way,” Souji whispered to himself.
Then he scrolled down to the caption and completely lost his breath.
“I think of you too.”
And with that, Souji’s fate was sealed—he was going to be thinking about Yosuke—his Partner who he was in love with (who thought about him too!)—nonstop for the rest of his life.
is bakugo always like that? *shivers* angry because i just wanted to hold his hand?
Bakugo is that mean, but its just to cover all that cuddly loveable teddy bear he holds underneath. Also. I see you want to hold his hand, but if he says its dangerous. It proooobably is. @anon-bakugo
Fin, do you mind filling me in again on what happened a couple days ago? ~ Mardi
I suppose that kid already sent you some info we were all working to get.
And remember that blondie who used to be my informant in the north? The one that got shot last year, before you and I got together? Yeah, I've found the little shits who murdered her. I told you they wouldn't be spared, even after we killed their boss. Took me and Homere a rough night to reach them, but it's done now. Also, on a totally unrelated question, do you know how deep a skin cut must be to leave a scar on the face? Asking for a friend.
