#moth is talking

[the-snake-collective]

I feel like it's okay if you see your gender or sexuality as a choice or something you changed into rather than something you always were. It's often framed as if this can never be true but I don't think that's the case? I was never exactly a girl right, that much wasn't a choice. But on another level, I believe my identity as nonbinary to be a choice I've made. I choose it out of love and because quite frankly it's cool as shit. I wasn't always nonbinary in the way I am today, I just wasn't a girl either. Not sure I'm expressing myself well but like. I feel like the framing of it as never being a choice is something to help legitimize being queer and protect those who are queer from being hurt. In a world that's unaccepting and desperately wants to change us, I see very clearly how it's helpful. But ultimately, even if it were a choice, being queer still wouldn't be wrong. The argument of "it's not a choice, therefore it's fine" feels to me like it cedes some ground, similar to how "puberty blockers are temporary, therefore it's fine" cedes ground. The idea that being trans is lesser than being cis, therefore choosing a different puberty would be wrong. The idea that being queer is lesser, therefore choosing to be queer is wrong. And the belief that being queer can't be a choice and has to be something you're born as does end up causing material negative effects. Having to prove you're really trans to receive healthcare, because it isn't allowed to be a choice. Having to date and have dated the right type and number of people to prove you're really bi because it isn't allowed to be a choice. Any changes in sexuality or gender being scrutinized because are you sure that's true? What if it's a choice you've made? And you can't talk about your experiences as being a different gender without scrutiny because you were always the gender you are, it was never a choice you made.

Like, ultimately I'm talking about this because I'm tired of my agency surrounding my gender being taken away. I'm nonbinary because I choose to be. Because I love being nonbinary. My choice to me is a form of celebration. For many it isn't a choice and I love them too.

[the-snake-collective]

Very nervous guy just flirted with us it was very sweet but we are not interested in dating lol.

[the-snake-collective]

We have a sf/dawtde headcannon that blue orchids used to be Avery's favorite flower and now he can't stand to look at them :)

[the-snake-collective]

Feels like we're rotting from the inside out.

[the-snake-collective]

Here's this thingy!

We were on DID youtube as like a little kid learning about systems. That's where we first learned it existed and even then we kinda thought "oh I wonder if I'm like that." Because we knew there were multiple folks in here who would talk to each other to make decisions, but we ended up concluding that it was our imagination. There was a lot of denial and being scared to claim systemhood because of fear of faking. A good while ago now we came to the conclusion that we were a system and mentioned it on this blog (it used to be a vent blog before we redid it). We completely repressed that and stopped posting here for awhile. Then back in october we finally accepted that we're plural and now this is our secret system account. Uh now for the stuff that didn't cover. Before syscovery we constantly had this "who am I?" thing going on. Now it's a bit more chill because we know more about ourself but identity can still be confusing. I'm not sure if we switch more now though now we have words to describe it. We have very limited communication and are working on improving it. We don't know if we're traumagenic but we do know we've experienced trauma that for a long time we denied was even trauma. Often times we do feel lost. We weren't sure if "alters pretend to be host" was meant to be internal or external but yeah externally we all pretend to be the same person. We do want some system friends. We weren't sure what "pressure" meant in this context. And that should cover the whole board

[the-snake-collective]

Okay so turns out! Sylphanil, the god of death we made up for a story, is in here. Huh. Yeah alright, sure.

[the-snake-collective]

Poorly made claw made out of the materials I had on hand (cardboard and tape):

It's got a spot for me to stick my nail so I get more tactile feedback

It's not very good for the ending joint on my finger nor my actual nail underneath. Mainly this is a concept piece for claws I want to make out of better materials. Definitely some things I plan on changing but it works for concept.

[the-snake-collective]

Holy shit our pinned was only made oct 3rd. That's when we officially realized we were a system. It was that recent. Wtf. Feels like it's been so much longer