#motherdearestmayi

[il--dottore]

Um, Dr. Rossi? Yes, hello, this is Jennifer Dayga. I hope those files made their way to your office. We had some minor difficulties after the paperwork was submitted, but we sorted it out as soon as possible. -Jennifer Dayga, Social Worker

Thank you, Jennifer. I appreciate promptness. I’ll have a good word to put in to the Elites for you, should you need it.

[silvasboys]

Evaluation Log 003

Approved video log and transcript Patient: Silvas, Marcos Focus: Psychiatric Concerns Following Classroom Performance Doctor: Tucker, Stanley

T: Hello, Marcos. It’s good to see you again. I was starting to wonder if you didn’t like me. //quiet chuckling at his own joke//

M: ...I just didn’t feel like I needed to come in.

T: That’s understandable. Unless otherwise mandatory, you always have a choice about coming in. So do you know why you’re here today?

M: Because I did really badly on a quiz. I dunno why it’s different than any of my other grades, though.

T: Right. Well the concern is how you did on this specific quiz... and how you reacted to the instructional video that went along with it.

M: I don’t see why it’s any different.

T: I have notes from the instructor of that specific course. The, uh, interrogation overview. Does that sound familiar?

M: Yeah.

T: And you’re saying that failing this quiz and reacting with what’s been described to me as ‘panic’ isn’t any different from any other sessions or grades?

M: I didn’t panic. If they told you that, they’re lying.

T: Okay. So how /did/ you respond, then?

M: I just didn’t like it.

T: Why not?

M: Because I don’t like that sort of thing. Hurting people like that.

T: But the whole point of the video was to teach you how to get the answers you need, to minimize having to hurt someone, right?

M: By hurting them.

T: I see your point. So why don’t you tell me some of the things going through your mind when you saw the video?

M: ......

T: This is a safe place, Marcos.

M: I didn’t think about anything. I just didn’t like it.

T: You didn’t think about anything at all? I’ve only heard of that in a reeducation.

M: ......

T: Why don’t we watch the video together and maybe I can see what you saw. Find out why it bothered you.

M: I don’t want to do that.

T: Why not?

M: Look, it’s fine, okay? I don’t wanna talk about it. It doesn’t matter. Just tell me to take the quiz again or whatever, and let me leave.

T: But it does matter. There are very important people concerned that you could end up endangering yourself. Did you black out? Do you know how you were reacting?

M: ...I just stood up too fast and knocked my chair over by accident. It’s not a big deal.

T: And what made you stand up so quickly?

M: ...I... forgot where I was. Sort of. I mean I knew I was in the classroom, but...

T: But?

M: ...I dunno. It sort of felt like I was... in danger. Or something. I felt like I had to leave.

T: What was the danger? What caused that feeling?

M: The video. I didn’t like the video.

T: I’m hearing you say that you felt like you were in danger because of a video about interrogations?

M: I guess.

T: I see... Have you ever been interrogated, Marcos?

M: No. Not really.

T: Mm-hmm. Detained, then? I think I remember seeing something about that in your files.

M: ...yeah.

T: Was the video related to detainment like you remember it?

M: No. Not really. It was just... the feeling of it. ‘Cause they plan it all out, y’know. They’re teaching us to...

T: What happened during your detainment? What did they plan for you?

M: I don’t - I don’t wanna talk about it. I’m not going to.

T: It must not have been so bad, right?

M: ...

T: Well if there’s nothing to talk about.

M: There’s not.

T: Even though it was enough to feel endangered in a completely safe space just because of an instructional video?

M: No. I’m not gonna talk about it - just - just ask something else, okay?

T: You do realize that’s where you’ll be working one day, right?

M: ...maybe I can get shifts somewhere else.

T: You’ll have to work detainment. And you’ll probably come across someone who was detained for similar reasons to yours.

M: I won’t. I won’t - do that to someone.

T: Mm. All right. Well, I’ll tell you what. I think you’ve got a fairly major hurdle to work through, here, Marcos, and I’m going to refer you to another therapist for a session or two. An associate of mine; she works specifically with members of the force who spend a lot of time in the detainment or reeducation centers.

M: ...do I have to?

T: The first session will be mandatory, yes. After that it’s up to her and yourself. You’ll go see her?

M: If I have to.

T: Excellent. I wish you luck, and a Better time with all this. Thank you for stopping in.

[silvasboys]

Um... Ms. Dayga? I haven’t received my new assignment. I went to my usual classes today, so... am I still supposed to work on my makeup stuff?

[silvasboys]

The bell rang to signal the end of classes for the day, and Marcos slung his backpack over his shoulder as he stood amid a clatter of chairs and conversation. He'd chosen a desk at the very back of the classroom, and was one of the first out the door; with cuts and bruises virtually covering his face, he was intent on being seen by as few of his classmates as possible. The aversion was such that he was almost glad he'd been summoned to Ms. Dayga's office, because it meant he wouldn't get to the cafeteria until well after the dinner rush.

He knocked on the door a few minutes later and stepped back to wait for a response. Everywhere ached. Maybe he'd skip dinner altogether and just go lie down instead.

[silvasboys]

Ms. Dayga? I wanted to say thank you for taking care of me last week.

[silvasboys]

...I think I can go home now, Ms. Dayga...

[silvasboys]

...Ms. Dayga? I’m ready to go home now.

[silvasboys]

Evaluation Log 002

Approved video log and transcript Patient: Silvas, Marcos Focus: Psychiatric Concerns Following Public Disturbance Doctor: Tucker, Stanley

Dr. Tucker: Hey, it's good to see you today. I'm Dr. Tucker, but you can call me Stanley if you'd rather. And you are?

Marcos: ...I'm Marcos Silvas. Why don't you know my name already?

T: I do know your name. I have to make sure you know your name, too.

M: Of course I know my name. What'd they tell you happened? I just had a headache, it's not a big deal.

T: They said auditory hallucinations and then minor self-harm. Is that true? Were you hearing things?

M: I mean... I dunno. I guess so.

T: You think so? Can you tell me more about what you were hearing last night?

M: Nothing. My head just hurt really bad.

T: Well you said just a minute ago that you thought you might have been hearing things. Can you help clear up the confusion for me?

M: I dunno. It was hard to focus, there were people all around.

T: Do you know what triggered it?

M: No, it just happened. And stop looking at me like that.

T: You're seeming pretty defensive, Marcos. Tell me what you're feeling right now.

M: ...I feel like like you think I'm lying, or - or deluding myself or something, but I'm not, okay? I don't need your help, or more meds, or whatever - I'm not crazy.

T: I don't think you're crazy, Marcos. But you have to let me help you if you want to prove that. They said you kept screaming about something being "too loud".

M: .....

T: ...What was it, Marcos?

M: Nothing. I dunno. I was probably just confused.

T: Okay. So what triggered the headache, then? What made it bad enough to beat your head against the floor?

M: I told you, I don't know! I was just getting ready for bed, and then it started scr-

T: ..........What started screaming? This is a safe place. I wanna prove you right.

M: ...that's not true. .....I don't know. It's like static. Maybe somebody left their radio on too loud and the signal got messed up.

T: But you were the only one that heard something like that.

M: ....

T: Was it saying anything?

M: I don't... I couldn't understand it. It was just... really angry.

T: At you?

M: No. It barely even knew I was there.

T: Does it have a name?

M: ....no.

T: ............

M: It was just loud. But that hasn't happened before, and it probably won't happen again, and it's not a big deal.

T: Okay. So this time it wasn't a big deal. What if it does happen again, though. How will you deal with it?

M: ... I'll... I'll get away from the others, and...

T: ........And?

M: ...and I'll figure it out. It's not anyone else's problem.

T: Okay. I just want to make sure that you're safe.

M: Well I am.

T: Okay. Is there anything else you wanna say before our time is up?

M: ...don't make me take more meds.

T: I hope you won't have to. I might like to see you again, though, at some point. Just to check in. Would that be okay with you?

M: It's not like I could say no.

T: You can, though. Unless they order another evaluation, you can say no. They'll probably help you set up a follow-up, but outside of that. //shrug//

M: ...if it means I don't get in trouble, and I don't have to take more meds or go to the hospital, then sure, I'll meet with you.

T: Good. I'm gonna suggest a couple brain scans and a hearing screening. Next time we meet, I'll probably need to do a couple tests. But for now you're free to go back to the infirmary.

M: Don't put me under for any of the tests.

T: You won't have to be. The scans and screenings require you to be conscious. And mine are just a series of personality tests and projective tests. You've probably heard of them before.

M: ...okay. Good.

T: You're welcome. Have a Better day, Marcos.

M: Sure.