my grandmother died recently and there was a sad ceremony at the local church, I cried a lot, but something stuck up to me about catholicism specifically, now, I'm not at all religious but I do believe that, if there is a god, he is the most forgiving and loving being we could ever have the luck of knowing, and I entirely disagree with the whole mercy and forgiving of sins thing because he would simply receive us with a warm hug.
At least I'd like to imagine my grandma went into those comfy and loving arms if there's a god.
I've recently read that they say the one who is in love is the winner, but i don't feel like I'm winning AT ALL. in fact I think I am losing so much time it could be spent with her, I'm missing unshared kisses, touches not completed and I irremediably feel like a loser, and maybe I am. Maybe the enormous love I have for her it's destroying my brain from the inside out, it's making me miserable with no chance to see the light at the end of the tunnel.
I want to spray her pillow with those dumb lavender mists, scratch her back, hug her all day and I just can't. If it's not torture it definitely feels like it.
so I've been thinking about a conversation that bothered me at work, and really bothered me because this happened like 2 weeks ago, but anyways, we were discussing how 'weird' people are getting more common in public spaces and how we should react to them, I personally don't mind weird, in fact I love weird and freaky people even if it makes me uncomfortable, because I understand those are MY feelings instead of how I should act, wich I know can be separated. But there i was having an oddly complicated discussion with my coworkers and one of them, an older woman started saying that this 'boom' of weird people started out only recently, and it bothers her that she has to normalize certain aspects of other humans because we share the same common spaces.
So it bothered me because it clicked she wasn't talking about people that consciously make an effort to abandon societal norms, but she was talking about gay, trans and non binary people, and it really fucking hurt because I am a lesbian who doesn't share that info in the workplace (won't deny if asked though) because of people like her, people who think they have the right to make the decision to allow someone to exist in the same spaces, it was really rough to think about it, because you're not 'normalizing' shit, you're living among humans, diverse and rich humans who will act different than what you expect!! people do not have to ask for permission to live how they want to.
Review: MOTHR’s debut single ‘Dancing on the Edge of a Knife’ refreshingly offers a slice of indie-rock that’ll see them going far
Based in New York but previously from Belarus, the members of indie-rock band MOTHR connect with their audience in the simplest of ways. Extending a hand of normality, they say they are ‘like you but not exactly like you’, from a haircut to the size of your hands, they’re just other people on a planet spinning in the universe and for that they are a version of you. Dancing atop their pain in their music, MOTHR’s debut release ‘Dancing on the Edge of a Knife’ perfectly encapsulates all these thoughts they’ve been wanting to portray. Frontman and songwriter Alex Khurgin pours his deepest emotion into vivid musical stories of American weirdos - painting pictures of unlucky stars, high flying lowlives, Hollywood sign arsonists, and gorgeous simpletons in New York who all just want to be loved, and ‘Dancing on the Edge of a Knife’ shows us the first ever insight into that.
Jumping straight into electric energy and vibrant pulsations, ‘Dancing on the Edge of a Knife’ commences with an addictive thudding beat and radiant synths. As these simple elements together make for an evolving bed of sound, moments heighten and soften, before the pre-chorus leaps into an atmospheric build. Littered electric guitar notes colourfully fall into the background, before the chorus hits into a bright burst of colour. As every instrumental joins together for a memorable and euphoric slither of time, the overwhelming raise in volume and interlinked sounds make for an atmosphere like no other. Guitar strums, synth elements and the overarching drum beat all interweave amongst other fleeting elements that together leave ‘Dancing on the Edge of a Knife’ lingering in your mind long after first listen. Topped off by their vocalist’s unique delivery, the band mix a spoken-sung tone with haunting sung moments in the chorus segments, adding an air of familiarity and friendliness whilst still allowing for every hook and beat to stay with you long after. Reminiscent of bands like Sundara Karma but with their own unique flair and individuality, it’s without a doubt that MOTHR are destined to go far as they already boast such a thoughtfully mastered piece of art in ‘Dancing on the Edge of a Knife.’
Written as an anthem about trying to break out of the suburbs and follow your dreams of change, ‘Dancing on the Edge of a Knife’ is a little bit of an uncomfortable listen that holds you accountable for losing the spirit and lack of care you once had in your youth. With lines like ’Now that you find yourself estranged from all your fantasies of change’, it’s evident that MOTHR are not afraid to be bold and make their listeners truly take a step back to evaluate their own life in such a perspective, looking back on their own desires for change and adventure that were squashed by the harsh realities of the real world. Becoming further ‘estranged’ from the potential and plans that at one time felt like were a solidified part of your future to come, ‘Dancing on the Edge of a Knife’ truly asks you to look at your life and work out whether you’re happy with where you are and what you’re doing. As time goes on, it’s easier to reflect on those wishes rather than pursue, lingering in lines like ’Just a little time to reminisce and loop through thoughts that rip your heart out’ to feel the pain of those crushed dreams but still only find time to ‘reminisce’ rather than go out and make a change. Heavy and hard to hear at points, ‘Dancing on the Edge of a Knife’ very much offers up an utterly juxtaposed feeling to the bright soundscape at play, perhaps there to remind that within all the darkness and time that has passed, there’s still hope to be had that you can go out and live your dreams if you’re brave enough to live the life you’ve always dreamed of.
Shared along with an exceptional music video,‘Dancing on the Edge of a Knife’ can be enjoyed alone or with the visuals to make you think a little harder about the narrative rather than flow through the colourful tones of their sound. Exploring the story of a father who seems disconnected from life and the mundane everyday routine, he snaps from this reality and looses control, acting upon debauchery with a stranger he found on the streets. There are many ways this narrative could be interpreted, leaving it a wonderfully open way to perceive the song whilst covering more serious topics too.
You can find ‘Dancing on the Edge of a Knife’ here for you to listen to on your own time, as MOTHR certainly won’t be a name you’ll be forgetting if this first single is anything to go by for their future work!
Written by: Tatiana Whybrow
Photo Credits: Screenshot from the music video directed and edited by Boris Khaykin
