I’m no longer sad or mad about the stuff that has happened to me lately. I’m not content with how things played out, but I’m not letting it affect me. I’m not going to pretend about anything anymore. I believe I could have done a lot of things differently, but I also strongly believe that I did so much good. I have no regrets, because I needed this to grow. I didn’t know my worth, I didn’t think about my feelings, I blamed myself for a lot when I didn’t need to. I believe people who come into your life come to teach you lessons, and it’s up to you whether or not you learn them. I’m still learning but I feel like I’ve learned a big lesson. People are more complicated than they like to show. People aren’t black and white, there is no manual to how to deal with people, there’s nothing but grey areas. I have a huge heart, and I tend wear it on my sleeve. I give so much of myself to people that I forget to leave some for me. I care for people I shouldn’t, I wonder about people I shouldn’t, but I’m human and having never ending amounts of forgiveness, love and care will always be a flaw of mine, but honestly I would rather be flawed by that than to be flawed by the alternative. Life is too short to play games and pretend you don’t care for someone or love someone, life is too short to be anyone but who you are, life is too short to live it for anyone but yourself, life is too short to push aside good people. People are flawed imperfect creatures, no one should expect us to be 100 all the time, but just because we are flawed does not excuse how we tend to treat one another. People need room to grow, people need room to thrive, people need room to explore and this is something that is hard to accept but important to accept. We hurt eachother by accident all the time, but you should never ever intentionally hurt someone who genuinely cares about you. I feel like the ones who intentionally hurt someone who cares about them are the ones who need the most loving, the most caring, and the most understanding to a degree. Because maybe they are the ones that are hurting the most.
But all people are different, no one truly understands someone perfectly, everyone has their demons, but one thing that everyone has in common is this: self acceptance and self love is the truest and purest form of love someone can have, and no one but you can give you that love, you have to achieve that love to feel full and complete, no other person can make you truly full and complete until you love and accept yourself for who you are. No boyfriend/girlfriend/friend/child will make you feel complete until you are complete and full of love on your own.
