seen from China
seen from Türkiye
seen from United Kingdom
seen from Austria
seen from United Kingdom
seen from Russia
seen from Norway
seen from United States
seen from Yemen
seen from Canada
seen from South Korea
seen from Malaysia
seen from Malaysia
seen from Norway
seen from China
seen from Norway
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Favorite Ben character in Yonderland?
Elder Vex
Nick
The Woolworths
Brother Marcus
Cake lady Sue
The last Fahl
Sir Ian of Mace
Dissectus
Mr. Havelock
Random side character #154 (say who in the tags)
Thanks again to @bfqt for her Yonderland Blog
Mr. Payne, Sir...
Series 3 Episode 7 - Miss Smashing
My reaction to both their fuckfaces exactly
I'm Liam with my friends
Series 3 Episode 3 - The Bird and The Bee
Prompt ficlet
This is for @andietries who asked for a fic about the Paynes & Archibald going to Ennythingos. They don't actually end up going there in the ficlet but I hope you enjoy it anyway!
Next up:
so dramatic: [character] complains about their cold. - Humphrey
dreamer: [character] talks in their sleep. - Kitty
vacancy: [character] forgets where they are. - Mary
Please be okay: [Fanny] isn’t feeling well, causing them to act differently.
Careful care: it’s hard for [Thomas] to accept help. [Francis] knows which care methods are “acceptable”.
Ask Games are here & here. Filled prompts are here & here on AO3.
________
The Party
“Sir, if I may have a word –“
“If it’s about that damned party again, the answer is no,” Mr Payne said without looking up from his writing.
Archibald hesitated. He was here because of that damned party as his master had so eloquently put it but that was only one of the reasons. Mostly, he was here for young Christopher. The lad was locked inside his room right now, trying very hard to muffle his tears against the pillow so no one would hear him cry. Archibald knew Christopher had been looking forward to the party – an official celebration of his university class’s graduation, really –for weeks now. Only yesterday, he had confided in him just how much it would mean to him to have his father there for the Hat Throwing Ceremony.
And now, barely half an hour ago, Mr Payne had crushed those hopes.
“I would rather go and visit that bumbling fool Bernard than set one foot into the den of iniquity that is Ennythingos,” he had said derisively. When Christopher had opened his mouth to argue Mr Payne had stopped him with a sharp look. “That’s my final word on the matter, Christopher. You are dismissed.”
After a heart-breaking moment of hoping his father would change his mind, Christopher had hung his head, sniffed once and left the room with drooping shoulders. As Archibald had silently watched him go, he’d vowed to find a way to fix this. The poor lad had been through enough pain and disappointment in his young life already. He deserved a day of joy and celebrations.
“Sir, with all due respect – I think you might have gotten the wrong impression of the event on Friday,” Archibald said carefully, very much aware that he was risking his master’s anger by pursuing this matter.
Unsurprisingly, Mr Payne raised one unimpressed eyebrow as he put down his pen. “Have I, Archibald? It’s obvious why Christopher and his friends chose that … that place for it. They plan on getting drunk out of their minds and I will have no part in that.”
Archibald took a tentative step forward towards the desk Mr Payne was sitting behind. “They didn’t, actually – choose the place, I mean. The Dean did after part of the town hall’s ceiling came down during rehearsals last week. Ennythingos is the only place with a town hall of similar size and capacity that was available at such short notice.” He paused to gauge his master’s reaction before he went on, a little more softly. “The kids might go out after the ceremony to celebrate, yes, but that’s never mattered to Christopher.”
“Didn’t it?” Mr Payne asked sceptically.
“No, sir,” Archibald said softly. “All Christopher wants is to have you there so he can share this important moment of his life with you. He wants you to see the hat being thrown onto his head, wants you to cheer him on as all the other parents do. Your presence and support mean the world to him, sir.”
Mr Payne was silent for a very long moment that had Archibald holding his breath. “And you are certain of this, Archibald? Because I refuse to let myself be manipulated into chaperoning my son and a bunch of other kids just so they can get drunk on overpriced alcohol that is bound to be mediocre in quality at best.”
“I’m sure, sir,” Archibald promised. “Christopher just wants you to be there.”
He didn’t tell Mr Payne that what Christopher actually wanted and desperately needed was for his father to be proud of him, just once in his life. That was something Mr Payne had to figure out on his own, as much as it pained Archibald to admit. Sometimes, he wished he could knock some sense into his master just so he would see what a brilliant and kind son he had, and how much he longed for a kind word and loving touch.
“Very well,” Mr Payne said at last and Archibald breathed a sigh of relief. “I will accompany Christopher on Friday. I trust you will take care of the travel arrangements, Archibald?”
“Of course, sir,” Archibald smiled. “I’ll get right to it.”
“Good,” Mr Payne said. “And let’s hope you are right about my son’s … motivations.”
Archibald left the room with a newfound spring in his steps and the excited buzzing of bees in his ears as they passed on the happy news among themselves. He couldn’t wait to tell Christopher and see the lad’s bright, boyish smile finally replace the heartbreak, at least for a little while.
JUNK FOOD: More confused than dazed
I was a first-year college student when I watched Richard Linklater’s Dazed and Confused for the first time. The movie came out in 1993, takes place in 1976, and I was watching it in 2003. The people I was with had seen it a hundred times and were parroting the characters and howling at the jokes, but I remember not, like, really getting it. It felt like an exercise in nostalgia for a time and place I couldn’t relate to and didn’t really want to anyway. High school was traumatic enough without sitting through 103 minutes of not-so playful hazing. I think the movie’s interesting when viewed for what it is, though, which is a cast of twenty-somethings acting as 18-year-olds seventeen years prior. But today I only want to talk about one character: Mr. Payne.
A central driver of the action in Confused is the give and take of hazing. It’s the last day of classes in a Texas high school and bedlam is barely contained until the end of the day, when things get dire quick. It’s apparently in good fun and charitably coded “tradition,” but the rising seniors spend the afternoon violently hazing the rising freshmen with insults, threats, and wooden paddles. When two students ask their teacher to be let out early to avoid the melee, Mr. Payne replies with, “It’s like our sergeant told us before one trip into the jungle: Men! Fifty of you are leaving on a mission. Twenty-five of you ain’t coming back.” It’s a joke, I think. But more Full Metal Jacket than Stripes.
Clearly there’s no real love lost between this movie and me, but this Memorial Day I’m thinking of Mr. Payne and hoping the interceding years were kind to him. I’ve only known war in the abstract, and I am grateful. So I don’t care that Payne is fictitious, I still wish peace and calm and clarity to the man, the soldier. I’d argue that Dazed and Confused aged horribly, but I hope Mr. Payne didn’t.
