Welcome back to your 𝐅𝐀𝐕𝐎𝐑𝐈𝐓𝐄 segment, 𝓕𝓪𝓷𝓶𝓪𝓲𝓵 𝓱𝓸𝓾𝓻𝓼 𝔀𝓲𝓽𝓱 𝓜𝓲𝓼𝓽𝓮𝓻 𝓐𝓷𝓽!"
The audience cheers.
"As you can see... We've changed the set up around here!"
"A desk, 𝓬𝓸𝓯𝓯𝓮𝓮, and a 𝕝𝕒𝕡𝕥𝕠𝕡 to browse your messages easier. Don't worry if you're writing us a letter on paper, the fanmail sorting department is working ꪮꪜꫀ᥅ꪻ꠸ꪑꫀ to 𝕕𝕚𝕘𝕚𝕥𝕒𝕝𝕚𝕫𝕖 everything, and your letters will be stored in my room as always."
"Welcome, welcome, welcome dear viewers! I am so happy to have you here today! My last appearance was... 𝚊𝚋𝚛𝚞𝚙𝚝𝚕𝚢 𝚌𝚞𝚝 𝚜𝚑𝚘𝚛𝚝. I know you were all 𝔀𝓸𝓻𝓻𝓲𝓮𝓭 𝓼𝓲𝓬𝓴 for me, our fanmail sorting department got a 𝖍𝖊𝖆𝖗𝖙𝖜𝖆𝖗𝖒𝖎𝖓𝖌 amount of letters asking about me and my health. Be assured, I am doing better. However... my impromptu absence has caused changes in our programming, and I have no doubt that you've missed all those segments I would usually host... well. As a 𝓱𝓮𝓪𝓻𝓽𝓯𝓮𝓵𝓽 𝓪𝓹𝓸𝓵𝓸𝓰𝔂... You will not only get one Tenna, but 𝐓𝐖𝐎!" The audience cheers wildly. "Please welcome our............ 𝚋𝚎𝚕𝚘𝚟𝚎𝚍 𝚐𝚞𝚎𝚜𝚝, coming to us from across the multiverse!"
The stage screen comes to life, broadcasting static, before switching to a white screen. Then, a giant nose pops out of it, accompanied by a mischievous smile and rosy cheeks. The guest laughs and sticks his tongue out.
"𝓗𝓮𝓱𝓮𝓱𝓮, haii!!! ℌ𝔦 𝔢𝔳𝔢𝔯𝔶𝔬𝔫𝔢!!!"
The audience cheers as Ant tries really hard to hide his annoyance. Can't shit on a guest the second they appear, even if they make their appearance very obnoxious and annoying.
"........ go on and introduce yourself to our beloved viewers."
"My name is Tenna, but call me 𝓣𝓮𝓷, cause I'm feeling like a 𝓣𝓮𝓷 out of 𝓣𝓮𝓷!" Ten's nose bounces from happiness as the audience awws and cheers.
Ant's smile widens mockingly. "That was very corny."
"Haven't you heard? 𝕮𝖗𝖎𝖓𝖌𝖊 culture is 𝕕𝕖𝕒𝕕! Do whatever you want forever!" His nose grows in size until he manages to poke Ant with it.
Ant furrows an eyebrow. "𝚁𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝."
Ten playfully turns his nose the other way, returning it to its normal size. "I 𝘤𝘢𝘯'𝘵 𝘸𝘢𝘪𝘵 to answer questions from your fans! Do you think they'll become my fans too?"
The stage is back to its normal TV Time set, though it is only dimly lit. Ant is standing to the left side, barely visible, coated in shadows and backlit by the limited light bouncing from the stage.
A spotlight turns on, shining onto Tim who’s on the opposite side of the stage. “𝐖𝐞𝐥𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤, 𝐝𝐞𝐚𝐫 𝐚𝐮𝐝𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞.” He waves at the camera. “𝐖𝐞𝐥𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲 𝐥𝐚𝐬𝐭 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐨𝐝𝐚𝐲’𝐬 𝐛𝐢𝐫𝐭𝐡𝐝𝐚𝐲 𝐬𝐞𝐠𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭, 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐁𝐨𝐬𝐬 𝐅𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭.” He looks at Ant, prompting the camera to turn towards him as the spotlights point at him. “𝐀𝐫𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐞𝐱𝐜𝐢𝐭𝐞𝐝, 𝐀𝐧𝐭?”
“Sort of? I’m also scared cause I get the feeling you’re gonna pull a fast one on me.” Ant fidgets with his gloves. His getup looks like a costume, and, I guess it is? His chestplate, small pink cape, and boots are an outfit that hasn’t been seen in almost a decade.
Ant glances around the stage, wondering what the boss is going to be, but his gaze is quickly drawn back to Tim, who tosses him his cane, followed by his hat that lands perfectly on Ant’s head.
“𝐓𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬, 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐦𝐚𝐲 𝐧𝐞𝐞𝐝 𝐢𝐭.”
“Need it?”
“𝐘𝐞𝐬.”
“...Alright.” Ant decides to play along and brandish the cane like a sword. “I’m ready for.. whatever the boss is.”
Tim smiles. His form seems to darken by the second, somehow making his previous void of light look like a light gray. His feet break contact with the ground as he slowly rises in the air, now floating a few feet above the stage. He grabs the knot of his tie, loosening it until he can entirely take it off. Extending his arm in front of him, the tie stands straight, before morphing into the shape of a sword.
Ant’s expression shifts as he shows an uncomfortable smile, hoping that this is some kind of tasteless joke.
Tim grabs his weapon, and, with a clean slice, cuts reality in half. Both sides of the image fall down, exploding on impact – impact with what? Your guess is as good as mine – revealing the oh-so familiar battleground behind them as the boss music kicks in.
Ant feels an uncomfortable pinch in his chest, before the soul jumps out, immediately encased into the soul arena. It is also holding a little cane, how dapper!
“𝐄𝐧𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡 𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐭𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐭!” Tim turns his back to the audience and snaps his fingers. Three items dash past the heart arena, trying to hit the soul, but it’s much faster than them, parrying the attacks it can’t dodge.
Ant takes a deep breath. Focus… Focus… He moves his cane into a parry stance.
Mirroring the attack used on the soul, the three PR team employees surround Ant, before dashing at him, brandishing office supplies. Ant manages to dodge the shadowgal and the pippins, but the zapper nearly lands a blow on him which would have no doubt hit if Ant wasn’t able to counter it with the cane.
3…
Tim holds his forehead. Seems whatever the soul is doing is distracting him from the fight. He doesn’t seem too pleased about it, as his smile is entirely gone once he looks back at Ant. The manager lifts his sword, and brings it down with a strength greater than what started the fight. The soul arena is split in half and shards fly in all directions.
Almost skipping the beat, Ant ducks just in time not to be hit by the follow-up slice messing with the fabric of reality. With each new slice, Ant and the soul dodge being the ones split down the middle, but with the interval getting smaller and smaller… Soul is hit by the last attack.
Ant feels his body freeze outside of his control, and pain overwhelms him as Tim cuts him in half… but not really. It only feels like it. Not pleasant either way. He catches a glimpse of the damage numbers, seeing a 1, surprised that an attack this painful could do so poorly, even with a defensive stance. Is Tim holding back?
2…
Tim puts his swords behind him, pointing the finger of his other hand at the soul and Ant. A beam of purple light shines from it, and suddenly, what looks like paper contracts shoot out, flying right at the two in the spotlight.
Seeing that the projectiles are paper, Ant feels confident in just swatting them away with his cane, but one of the papers just slices its end clean off, making Ant squeak in surprise. Okay plan B, we keep dodging.
The flying papers eventually slow down, then scatter along with the light.
1…
Ant sighs and falls on one knee, out of breath. The adrenaline is slowly wearing off, and he’s feeling exhaustion hit all at once.
Tim lifts his sword, and Ant, despite his state, gets ready to dodge. However, the slice is not directed at him, but at the battleground itself, and apparently at the music too, as it stops playing. Just as it did when they were brought here, the image falls off screen, ending its trajectory with an explosion and revealing… the TV Time stage?
Ant dares to hope. “Did I… win?”
“𝗠𝗨𝗛𝗔𝗛𝗘𝗛𝗔𝗛𝗔𝗛𝗔𝗛𝗘𝗛𝗔𝗛𝗘𝗛𝗔.”
A laugh shakes the stage. Ant looks at Tim, but he isn’t the one that’s coming from. He does, however, bow, before fading out of view.
Ant and the soul are confused. But not for long.
𝗧𝗛𝗨𝗗
The stage is shaken even harder. In place of the PR manager stands… Ant?
“𝐒𝐔𝐑𝐏𝐑𝐈𝐒𝐄.” Hunched over, Ant’s body seems to find the situation hilarious. TV Time kicks in, and while Ant doesn’t register it due to… everything going on at the moment, the rendition seems to be slightly… different?
The CRT’s grin is wide and filled with a dangerous aura, which makes Ant shiver. Is this what he looks like to others???
“𝒯𝒽𝒶𝓉’𝓈 𝓇𝒾𝑔𝒽𝓉, 𝒻𝑜𝓁𝓀𝓈!” The TV chuckles. “𝔸 𝕋𝕎𝕀𝕊𝕋! A 🆂🅴🅲🆁🅴🆃 🅱🅾🆂🆂. Isn’t that so much 𝖋𝖚𝖓?” The audience cheers at the reveal. The boss notices Ant’s dumbfounded expression. “Surprised? Wasn’t it you who said that an old CRT can learn new tricks?” He laughs. “Well, how do you like this one?”
Ant gets back on both feet, a whole new dose of adrenaline rushing through his veins. The stage falls apart, and Ant finds himself standing on the cooking minigame set. “...Again..?”
“𝟏𝟎𝟎𝟎 𝐩𝐨𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐬 and you 𝕎𝕀ℕ! Simple, yes?”
With no warning, fire blasts from every direction, nearly frying Ant alive. His dodging isn’t very controlled, it’s led by instincts he didn’t even know he had. Fire touches his skin in a few places, which makes it sting, it even chars his cape, but apparently that doesn’t count as a hit.
It’s easy to tell when the attack is about to end, as the amount and size of flames winds down, and Ant allows himself to fall to his knees to catch his breath.
+ 𝟮𝟰 🇵🇴🇮🇳🇹🇸
The different parts of the set slide away, revealing the stage underneath.
But then, he has a realization. One of his skills is
“Another go!” His own mocking voice announces.
“That’s cheating!” The words escape his mouth before he can even think about them properly.
The stage makes room for… another stage. The darkners live one specifically. A set of drums falls and lands in front of Ant.
“Yes.” The CRT chuckles. “That’s the whole point, isn’t it?”
Ant’s hands are shaking from both exhaustion and stress, adrenaline isn’t enough… There's no way he can play like this.
“𝙸 𝚐𝚘𝚝 𝚢𝚘𝚞.”
The soul takes over just in time to not miss the first falling note. It plays every note with rehearsed precision, unimpeded by how tired the body is, since it can’t feel it from where it is.
However, as soon as the notes stop and the stage reverts to the other one, it’s ripped out of Ant’s body once more.
+ 𝟯𝟳 🇵🇴🇮🇳🇹🇸
Ant looks at the ground. He’s gaining so little points with each attempt… Something’s not right. That fight would take way too long if it was meant to be played fair. Which means… He’s not meant to win. He’s meant to fail for entertainment. This realization is frustrating… no, enraging.
Forcing himself up and looks at the laughing CRT towering over him, he finds it in himself to ignore the intimidation factor. After all, he knows the guy, and that guy ain’t shit.
An idea pops into his mind, and he grins, which seems to unnerve the CRT no matter how well he hides it. Ant lifts his cane in a parrying stance, ready to deflect the gunfire.
And deflect the gunfire he goes! Once the set is turned into the wild west, Ant masterfully stops every single bullet meant for him, only breaking a sweat when the assault stops. Before everything slides away, he sneaks one of the rubber bullets into his pocket.
Ant mumbles. “I’m gonna need your help.”
“𝙰𝚜 𝙸 𝚜𝚊𝚒𝚍, 𝙰𝚗𝚝. 𝙸 𝚐𝚘𝚝 𝚢𝚘𝚞.”
“Well, dear contestant.” The CRT leans forwards. “How does it feel to be part of an 𝖆𝖑𝖑 𝖘𝖙𝖆𝖗 𝖈𝖆𝖘𝖙?”
The stage darkens, and soon after, a shower of stars comes down on the battlefield. Ant and the soul both do their best to dodge everything, and while not everything is avoided, his health is not yet down to zero. And that’s all that matters.
As the stars fade, Ant grabs his hat, spins to grab momentum, and sends it flying at the TV way above him. That is… jarringly easily dodged.
The CRT looks at the hat fly past him, turning around to see it hit the wall behind him, then laughs. “Was that supposed to do anythin—
His voice cuts out and his face turns to static. The reflex of reaching for his head doesn’t even get the time to fully start, and the robot falls back and flat on the ground.
Despite the boss music still playing, the silence both on stage and in the audience is deafening. And then, allowing the tension to be released, the music stops.
The audience roars with applause and spotlights focus on Ant, who… uhm. Who’s passed out on the floor due to exhaustion.
Tim steps in front of the camera. “𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐚𝐧 𝐮𝐧𝐞𝐱𝐩𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐯𝐢𝐜𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐲. 𝐂𝐚𝐧 𝐰𝐞 𝐠𝐞𝐭 𝐚 𝐫𝐞𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐲 𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭?”
Cameras cut and we get a better view of the last moments of the fight.
As the stars fade, Ant grabs his hat, spins to grab momentum, and sends it flying at the TV way above him. That is… jarringly easily dodged.
The CRT looks at the hat fly past him, turning around to see it hit the wall behind him, then laughs.
Ant puts his hand in his pocket, taking the rubber bullet out and throwing it up. The soul takes over control of the body, and with every ounce of energy this vessel has left, the cane hits the rubber bullet, sending it right at the CRT, and more specifically, at his full power off switch.
“Was that supposed to do anythin—
The image cuts back to Tim, who leans in closer to the camera. “𝐖𝐞𝐥𝐥, 𝐰𝐞𝐥𝐥, 𝐰𝐞𝐥𝐥, 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐚𝐧 𝐢𝐦𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐧.” He steps back, then turns around halfway to look at Ant. “𝐌𝐢𝐤𝐞, 𝐰𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐡𝐢𝐦 𝐮𝐩. 𝐀𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐂𝐑𝐓 𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐨𝐧.”
A few employees hop on stage, making their way to Ant, while one of them stays near the CRT, messing with its channel dial. Ant is woken up with a bucket of ice water, a very classy solution, and he’s clearly pissed off by that, but doesn’t have any energy left to even yell at the perpetrators.
The pippins turning the dial finally gets it in position, and as the screen of the CRT flickers back to life, its body starts slowly moving along, getting up with some difficulty. When up, it turns its head towards Ant, then leans forwards, as its screen flashes interferences. And then, his face appears.
“𝓐𝓷𝓽𝔂!” He giggles. “You did such a ᧁ᥅ꫀꪖꪻ ꠹ꪮ᥇, I really didn’t expect that trick!”
Ant is, to say the least, dumbfounded. He begins furrowing his eyebrows, but can’t muster anything past a slightly annoyed expression. “𝚂𝚘, 𝚒𝚝 𝚠𝚊𝚜 𝚢𝚘𝚞.”
“It was 𝓶𝓮𝓮𝓮𝓮~!”
“𝚆𝚑𝚘 𝚕𝚎𝚝 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚞𝚜𝚎 𝚖𝚢 𝚋𝚘𝚍𝚢?”
“Oh, 𝓐𝓷𝓽𝔂, this isn’t your body, I would never do that without your permission. I had this custom made for today!”
“.....................................................................𝙸 𝚜𝚎𝚎.” He lets out something halfway between a sigh and a chuckle.
We would like to thank all our dear viewers for participating in Mister Ant's birthday event with as much enthusiasm as you did! We sincerely hope that you all had as much fun as we did, and we hope to see you again for future events!
We would also take a second to apologize for the multiple technical difficulties that caused the different parts of the event to be delayed several times, while nearly all of that was beyond our control, we also should have been better prepared. This has been a valuable learning experience, and we will do better next time!
Ant looks into the mirror of the dressing room, taking his tie off. While he no longer feels the exhaustion and pain of exertion of a human body, his mind is feeling quite tired. He decides to pause and sit still for a second, trying to recoup at least a little energy.
𝗞𝗻𝗼𝗰𝗸 𝗞𝗻𝗼𝗰𝗸!
“Come in.”
“What’s up BIЯƬΉDΛY BӨY?” Info laughs. “ㄒ丨尺乇ᗪ?”
“Like hell. What are you doing here?”
“Can’t I check how my friend is doing?” Info walks up to the mirror. “That was one gяєαт ѕнσω! I’m glad I got the angels to stay silent long enough to not spoil the surprise for myself.”
“𝕷𝖚𝖈𝓴𝖞 𝖞𝖔𝖚. While you’re here, are you free later?”
“I am, why?”
“Come over to my place, I have a gingerbread house I want to build and I don’t want to do it on my own.”
“Oh? Can’t you ask 几ㄖ乇ㄥㄥ乇?”
“It’s a surprise for her, so no, not really.”
“Then consider me already there!”
“Thanks.”
“Oh, last thing.” Info reaches into his jacket, rummaging around, and eventually pulling out a birthday card. “This isn’t for you!”
“..Then why are you giving it to me?”
“This is for Ten!”
“𝚃𝚑𝚎𝚗 𝚠𝚑𝚢 𝚊𝚛𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚐𝚒𝚟𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚒𝚝 𝚝𝚘 𝚖𝚎?!”
“You’re gonna give it to 卄丨爪 when he appears to congratulate you about the show.”
“Can’t you give it to him directly?”
Info puts his free hand on Ant’s shoulder as he hands him the card. “Ant, I’m ωιηgмαηηιηg for you.” He almost immediately steps back, perfectly dodging Ant’s attempt at grabbing him by the shirt, before blipping out of existence.
Ant looks at the card in his hand, and crushes it as he tightens his grip on it in anger.
𝗞𝗻𝗼𝗰𝗸 𝗞𝗻𝗼𝗰𝗸!
The CRT looks up at the door as he lowers the hand holding the card. “Who is it?” He already knows.
The door opens slightly, and Ten peeks into the room with a big goofy smile. Seems he’s back in his own body. “𝓗𝓲 𝓽𝓱𝓮𝓻𝓮!”
“𝚈𝚘𝚞 𝚌𝚊𝚗 𝚐𝚘.”
“Oh, come on, I just got here!” Ten slides into the room. “How are you feeling?”
“𝚆𝚘𝚛𝚜𝚎 𝚗𝚘𝚠 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚜𝚑𝚘𝚠𝚎𝚍 𝚞𝚙.”
“You know, I was 𝖗𝖊𝖆𝖑𝖑𝖞 𝖎𝖒𝖕𝖗𝖊𝖘𝖘𝖊𝖉 with the strategy you used back there!” He hands Ant a bouquet.
Ant’s gaze lands on the flower bouquet. Cherry blossom.
“I didn’t even notice you pocketing that rubber bullet, I only saw it later when watching back the footage. Though, I didn’t expect 𝓪𝓷𝔂 𝓵𝓮𝓼𝓼 from you! When you’re putting people through this kind of 𝐩𝐡𝐲𝐬𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐥 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐧𝐠𝐞, you’ve got to have the skills to 𝖔𝖚𝖙𝖘𝖍𝖎𝖓𝖊 them in a similar situation, right?”
Ant glances in his direction, then looks back at his own reflection in the mirror.
Ten leans forwards, getting closer to Ant to make sure his whispering is heard. “𝕴 𝖙𝖍𝖎𝖓𝓴 𝖞𝖔𝖚 𝖉𝖊𝖘𝖊𝖗𝖛𝖊 𝖆 𝓑𝓲𝓰 𝓟𝓻𝓲𝔃𝓮 𝖋𝖔𝖗 𝖙𝖍𝖎𝖘 𝖛𝖎𝖈𝖙𝖔𝖗𝖞~”
“𝙻𝚎𝚊𝚟𝚎.”
Ten steps back, his smile widening. “𝓞𝓴𝓪𝔂!”
The unwanted guest turns around to leave, but Ant remembers something. “...Hold on.”
“Hm?”
Ant extends his fist, still crushing the birthday card, towards Ten. “This is yours.”
“Ohh! A…” He takes a good look at the crumpled paper in Ant’s hand. “...birthday card(???)!”
“Yeah.”
“From you?” He grabs it, and after a few tugs, Ant lets go, letting Ten see the card in all its destroyed glory.
“𝓗𝓮𝓱𝓮! See you around!” As he goes to leave, Ten tries to save the poor birthday card enough to read it.
Ant looks at the mirror again. Back on stage, Ten mentioned having that fake body custom built for today. He also was in the audience during the whole show… What's that guy’s deal? Doesn’t he have his own birthday to worry about? Why is he wasting so much time taking part in Ant’s birthday activities? Not to mention that he sent a birthday card too, no matter how well staff tried to cover it up with other ones.
Whatever. Validation is validation. It doesn’t matter if this specific one feels warm or fuzzy...
"My type? Oh, you mean, 𝓻𝓸𝓶𝓪𝓷𝓽𝓲𝓬𝓪𝓵𝓵𝔂? Easy question!" Ten puts his hands together. "I like a 𝕤𝕥𝕣𝕠𝕟𝕘 𝕞𝕒𝕟! Someone who can carry me! Which would require a lot of strength, I don't tend to get small! But I still want him to have some fat on, you know? I'm not really interested in someone who looks like he lives at the gym. Someone who knows how to ᦔ᥅ꫀᦓᦓ ᭙ꫀꪶꪶ, someone who can get over my celebrity status too. I'm tired of going on dates with people who will say ꌩꍟꌗ to everything I ask of them just cause I'm known. I actually would prefer someone who 𝕕𝕠𝕖𝕤𝕟'𝕥 𝕔𝕒𝕣𝕖 about 𝐖𝐇𝐎 I am, but about who I 𝓐𝓜! Makes sense?"
