#mrs.grief

[sirins-grief]

Modern Romance

2am and I’m sitting here awaiting your reply Just like another modern romance

[sirins-grief]

Loyalty is

What keeps you to your friends.

But you never told me

What it is that makes you

Cling

To

Me.

[sirins-grief]

Being friends with you

"I want that.",

You whispered.

"To say, someday, that this love wasn't my first but definitely be my last."

In silence I smiled,

Shaking. Shivering.

Yet smiling,

Knowing

These words wouldn't ever be mine for you to speak.

Knowing

That for eternity

You wouldn't ever

Mean

Me.

[sirins-grief]

I've always searched for my haven. My shelter.

Funny though, this ship never even had an anchor.

So, when the storm came,

It took me with it. Onto the open sea.

Away from you.

[sirins-grief]

I don't want to be a happy person.

I want you.

[sirins-grief]

Little did I know

that this thing we had

would last forever.

(Even though it's just a memory.)

[sirins-grief]

Perspective is a strange thing.

They say that we're strong

When we start to wish them happiness instead of pain.

When we smile instead of pushing them aside. Smile, to contain their peace.

When the whole world starts to fade and everything comes down on us, yet we'll always be there for people we love.

When we know that stopping and drawing a line under everything that hurt us would be rational and great and easy, but we still cling to all these things. Because we hope for better days.

They say we're strong.

But on the other side, do they even know?

What it's like to break down, shiver, shake, cry and yet smile?

What it's like to feel all your anger and frustration fire up the worst in you and yet still wish them the best of luck?

What it's like, to rather vanish instead of forgetting anything about that person?

Do they know?

Is that strong?

To me, it's pathetic.

Yet, I don't want to change anything.

Does that make me pathetic, too?

I guess so.

But I'd rather be pathetic than another cold shell in this world.

[sirins-grief]

Sure, it wasn't the first time I got rejected.

And it wouldn't be the last time.

Yet

in this moment

here and now

it felt like a world crumbling down on me.