#mrsblakehalewinchestemason

[dustydreamsanddirtyscars]

Dean and Fashion: Costumes 6x18 "Frontierland" 7x12 "Time After Time After Time" 8x11 "LARP and the Real Girl" 8x20 "Pacman Fever"

Let's talk about Dean and fashion. Let's talk about how he went from hating wearing anything other but jeans and plaid shirts to enjoying dressing up in a well-cut suit. Let's talk about how he was more than excited whe he traveled back in time to work with Elliottt Ness and got all decked out with suit, tie and shoes and actually for once liked what he saw when he looked into the mirror.

Let's talk about Dean started to express joy about these little things more after he came back from purgatory, how the time there made him more open to express his emotions and grew more comfortable in his own skin.

Let's talk about how Dean has as latest as when he told Sam that he "always dreamt of becoming a firefighter as a kid" expressed a passion for dressing in era-specific clothing. Let's talk about how this love for dressing up as a Cowboy when him and Sam were huntng a phoenix or like a warrior when they were LARPing with Charlie shows not only that Dean has grown and is able to say he likes stuff that might not nescessarily go hand in hand with how he thinks a man has to be, but also is a sign of him exploring his identity.

Let's talk about all of this and more and then let's talk about how Dean loving to dress up and sometimes at the same time slipping into another character, another role - like when he was Charlie's handmaiden or a high-ranking officer when both of them were attacked by a Djin and were hallucinating their worst nightmares - might be the best way to escape from himself and his troubles, a way for him to feel like he matters, like he is a hero, because even though for all of us it is clear as day that Dean Winchester is a wonderful beautiful flawed and complicated person with a heart of gold, an amazing brother and friend, Dean has his troubles seeing himself this way. Can't think of himself as a hero.

And if it comes down to me, well... I don't love Dean because he is a hero or a fighter (though he certainly fits the criteria for both), I don't need him to be any of it, because Dean Winchester, just Dean Winchester with his fears, his flaws and his strength is more than enough for me. Yes, I love him just cause. For everything he is and maybe most for being so beautifully human - even when his eyes are black and not the colour of hope...

[dustydreamsanddirtyscars]

5x04 "The End"

[dustydreamsanddirtyscars]

4x16 "On the Head of A Pin"

"You don’t want me to doing this. Trust me."

While re-watching some scenes of 4x16 to properly reply to an ask, I once again was struck by how much in love I am with how this episode utilized the shadow-light play. And not just in this scene, but the whole episode through, because it tells half the story without any words needed. I mean, what better visual could you use for duality and an inner struggle than showing half of Dean’s face shrouded in darkness, one of his eyes practically looking black while he remembers hell, what he did and what he was close to becoming. Just… Ugh, this show is just so good when it comes to silent storytelling.

[dustydreamsanddirtyscars]

5x11 "Sam, Interrupted"

A very important post about Sam and Dean looking utterly gorgeous in blue scrub pants and white t-shirts while going mad.

[dustydreamsanddirtyscars]

5x11 "Sam, Interrupted"

"I'm not real, Dean. I'm in your head. Cause you are going crazy."

I find it interesting how fast Dean shows the first symptoms in this episode. It happens far earlier than with Sam. For Dean it starts right after Sam is ordered to stay back when Sam has a group therapy thing going on. That's when he starts hallucinating an attractive doctor, who is basically a personification of his inner voice. Confronting him about his non-existent sleeping patterns, alcoholism, hook-ups and in the end his depression and desperation. And while in the beginning she seems to offer support, in the end she turns on Dean, shows her "true" face. It's so tragic, because it's Dean's mind wrking against himself. Dean is truly his own worst nightmare and enemy.

This episode really is endlessly telling about Sam and Dean, because you get more than just a glimpse into their minds and what they are struggling with. And once again - especially the part about Dean not being able to trust his own judgement, perception and reality anymore - to me relates to 10x09 perfectly. Becuse in a similar fashion as Dean is here no longer sure if what he sees is true or a product of his own madness, in 10x09 the lines between nightmare and reality blur together. And the tragic thing here is, Dean saw the wraith, but he didn't trust his own judgement any longer. He saw the nurses true face, but since all the other faces looked that way as well, he thought none of it was real.

And since the wraith only amplifies what is already there, you kind of have to wonder for how long Dean might have been struggling with not knowing what's real and what's not and seeing things. It was addressed or alluded to when Dean gave Sam the "stone number one speech", but I think the issues Dean faces (depression, troubles of perception, hallucinations, etc.) and that are explored here date far further back. ;___;