#mrsstefadamsfoster

[mrslenaadamsfoster]

Autumn Dreams || Lena & Stef

Lena trudged downstairs, feeling a hint of melancholy nagging at her. It had been there all morning, just beneath the surface as she went about her day. It was just after noon and she had already completed her To-Do list for the weekend. There wasn’t nearly as much on it these days. With only three people living in the house now, there wasn’t as much mess to clean - fewer dishes to wash, so little laundry she wasn’t even doing a load a day anymore, less clutter laying around. It should have been nice but after so many years of keeping up with the house and juggling everyone’s schedules, Lena wasn’t used to the downtime, or the quiet, and she didn’t quite know what to do with herself. 

In the kitchen, she could see her wife sitting outside at the patio table, feet kicked up on the chair across from her, head tipped back, eyes closed. With a hint of a smile at the sight, Lena poured two cups of coffee and headed out back. 

With light footsteps, she crossed to the table and set Stef’s blue mug down and took the seat next to her wife. She ran her fingertips feather-light down Stef’s forearm before giving her wrist a gentle squeeze. “Enjoying the quiet?” she asked as she leaned back in her own chair, eyes squinting against the sun.

[miss-thing-adamsfoster]

Change of Heart || Mariana & Mom

It had been a week since Mariana had made her decision to go to UCSD instead of MIT but she hadn’t told anyone yet. She was telling herself it was because she didn’t want her moms to be suspicious that she was changing her mind immediately after their fight and that was true. But it had more to do with the fact that she had only just been able to think about it without crying. This was the right choice and she would just be grateful that she was going to college at all. 

Mom had actually come home in time for dinner that night. It was almost weird to have her at the table with everyone. There was still something between her and Mama. They were trying to act normal like everything was okay but she could just tell. Something was still off. Maybe if Mariana told them about her decision, things would get better. While everyone was getting dinner put away and the dishes done, Mariana went over to Mom who was putting leftovers in the fridge.

“Hey, Mom? Could I talk to you?”

[mrslenaadamsfoster]

A Romantic Evening || Lena & Stef

Almost a week had passed since Lena and Stef’s reconciliation and every day, Lena felt a little lighter. A little more comfortable believing that nothing had been damaged beyond repair. Stef was home for dinner every night. She was back to helping around the house and with the kids. They were both communicating their feelings about the future. They were both still concerned about money but they were working together to figure out a plan. They were back to talking and laughing and things were starting to feel like they were back to normal. Even the kids had finally relaxed and the household was falling back into its usual routine. The familiarity was enormously comforting.

That afternoon, Lena was sitting in the breakfast nook doing some research on grants and scholarships. Mariana’s aid package was good but Lena wasn’t sure she’d tapped into all of the potential sources for aid outside of the school itself. There had to be more out there for a young, adopted Latina with lesbian parents who was going into a STEM field. And Lena had enough experience on both sides of academia to help her get as much as she could. The kids were all upstairs doing homework Lena was enjoying the quiet solitude as the smell of dinner in the oven began to fill the room.

[mrslenaadamsfoster]

Laying Blame || Lena & Stef

After two discussions with her daughters, Lena still felt like something was off. But Mariana had insisted, after muttering that she was going to kill Josie, that she was worried about her mothers’ marriage and she felt like staying close to home was the right choice. She’d even cried and asked, “What if I go away to school and you guys get divorced and I miss the time my family was a whole family?” It had damn near broken Lena’s heart and had only fanned the flames of her anger toward her wife. Why couldn’t she see what this was doing to their family? Why couldn’t she see how much they all needed her?

When Lena had done all the reassuring she could, she finally left Mariana. But instead of going to find her wife to have a serious discussion about what she had just heard from their daughter, she went to her room and let her anger stew. She went through her nighttime routine and waited. Stef should be up soon. But apparently Stef was still avoiding her because by the time Lena was ready for bed, she still hadn’t shown up.

Her annoyance as she went to find Stef wasn’t really justified but she was too far gone to care. Downstairs, Lena found Stef at the dining room table, glasses on, hunched over a bunch of papers strewn across the table. Lena stood in the entry way and watched her for a moment, trying to reel in her anger and frustration. They needed to figure this out and they couldn’t do that if she was in a rage. But it was hard to keep that in mind when she was just seeing red.

Finally, she moved to the dining room, pulled out the seat beside Stef, and sat down on the edge, her back ramrod straight, her hands clasped tightly in her lap.

“Did you talk to Jesús?” she asked, her voice measured. She wasn’t sure if her wife even would have remembered that she was supposed to. It wouldn’t surprise her if she hadn’t.

[mrslenaadamsfoster]

Into the Fire || Lena & Stef

After a restless night, Lena woke feeling guilty. She had let her anger and her hurt feelings get in the way so not only had she been hurtful, they hadn’t even been able to talk about the problem and come up with a solution. Unfortunately, by the time Lena was up, Stef had already left so it was going to have to wait. Again. By the time she was taking her lunch, she hadn’t heard anything from her wife and knew she was going to have to suck it up and reach out first.

I’m sorry about last night. I was being petty. I love you. ❤️ Can we talk tonight?

She sent the text at one that afternoon and by four, when she was getting ready to head home, she still hadn’t heard back. She called her cell and hung up when it went to voicemail. Lena sighed to herself. Was Stef really still that mad? Choosing to take the high road, instead of getting frustrated, Lena decided to call the station. Stef would at least have to talk to her that way. Even if it was just long enough to hang up on her. The phone rang five times and she was sure it was going to go to voicemail when the line finally connected.

“Detective Velasquez speaking, how can I help you?”

“Hi, I’m looking for Detective Adams Foster.”

“Detective Adams Foster is out of the office, can I take a message?”

Lena was confused. “She is?”

“Yes. Can I help you with something?” Stef’s partner was starting to sound impatient.

“Uh, this is Lena. Adams Foster. I was looking for Stef because I haven’t been able to reach her on her cell.”

“Oh, hi. Yeah, Stef’s patrolling today. She probably just can’t get back to you right now.”

“What do you mean she’s patrolling? Why is she patrolling?”

“Because she’s been taking some extra shifts. She told you, didn’t she?”

Lena didn’t answer for a moment as she tried to make sense of what she was being told. “Um, yeah, right. I just didn’t realize she was doing that today,” she lied. “Thanks, Margo.”

“Sure thing.”

By the time she and Margo had exchanged goodbyes and Lena hung up the phone, she was livid. Stef was working the beat without telling her? What the hell was she thinking? And why? Was that really all that was going on? She could barely make sense of the questions swirling around her head but the one thing she knew for sure was that she was angry. Really angry.

Lena went home and made dinner, now knowing that there was no chance Stef was going to be home. Dinner was quiet despite her efforts to keep her anger hidden. And the kids somehow seemed to know that downstairs was not the place to be, vacating the floor as soon as they could. By the time Stef got home - a whole hour earlier than usual - Lena’s anger had had enough time to grow into the quiet fury that made her calm instead of explosive but it was far more dangerous. She was sitting at the head of the kitchen table, her elbows on the wooden table top, fingers steepled against her chin, waiting.

[miss-thing-adamsfoster]

Letter Limbo || Mariana & Mom

It was a Saturday and Mariana could have been doing a million different things but all she was doing was sitting in the living room, watching out the window, waiting for the mail truck. Her letter from MIT should have been here by now. Emma got her acceptance letter almost a week ago and if they went alphabetically, Mariana would have been before her. Unless they send out rejection letters last. She tried to ignore the thought but it kept nagging at her. She had practically convinced herself she wasn’t going to get in and was trying to talk herself into caring about any of the three other schools she had been accepted to. Perched in the corner of the couch with her knees pulled up to her chest, Mariana alternated between staring out the window and refreshing her email on her phone, hoping maybe she might get an email from the school before her actual letter showed up. At this point she would be happy just to be waitlisted. 

[mrslenaadamsfoster]

Young Love || Lena & Stef

At 8:05 that Friday morning, Lena found an excuse to be in the hall by Mrs. Atkin’s kindergarten class. Her girlfriend always made a point to drop her son off at his class instead of at the front door and it was one of those little things that showed how big Stef’s heart was, how caring and nurturing she was. One of those little things that Lena loved about her. Having her girlfriend’s son attend the school Lena worked at was as convenient as it was distracting and most mornings she wandered her way toward his class in the hopes of crossing Stef’s path. That way they could get a few minutes of conversation while Lena walked her to her car.

Sure enough, at 8:07, Stef exited the classroom and just the sight of her made Lena’s stomach flutter at an almost uncomfortable rate. “Hi,” she greeted Stef with a radiant smile as she approached. Lena fell in line beside her, close enough for intimacy but far enough apart for propriety’s sake. It wasn’t a secret that they were dating. Lena had been quietly out to her coworkers from the beginning. And by the time she and Stef had made things official six weeks ago, many of her coworkers had already been suspicious. But they still maintained a safe distance with minimal contact at the school for both Lena’s professional comfort and Stef’s personal.

As they made their way to the parking lot, they made idle chit chat while, as always, Lena’s hand itched to take hold of Stef’s. This self-imposed boundary always drove Lena a little crazy, making her overly aware of how strongly connected to this woman she already felt. Once in the parking lot and mostly isolated from prying eyes and ears, Lena changed the subject to one she’d been thinking about since early this morning. “So, since Mike has Brandon this weekend, I thought, if you’re not working tonight, maybe we could have dinner…?” She knew Stef wasn’t working but Stef could still make her so nervous, she asked anyway. No woman had made her this nervous or excited in a long time and it was one of a million little things that told Lena this was different than anything she’d had before.

[mrslenaadamsfoster]

Backfired || Lena & Stef

Lena lingered outside Brandon’s door for a minute, dwelling in her heavy heart. She really messed up this time. Not that she regretted talking to Mike - however futile that conversation had been. But she did regret letting her own fear keep her from being upfront with Brandon. She should have told him she was going to talk to him. She knew him better than to think asking forgiveness would be easier than asking permission. But she had chosen to listen to her fears instead of her instincts and she was paying for it now. Frustrated with herself, she padded across the hall to her own bedroom where her wife was getting ready for bed. After closing the door, she talked as she began peeling off her clothes. “He still won’t say more than two words to me. I don’t think he’s ever been this mad at me before.” Her tone was rueful, though lighter than her heart felt. She knew he would come around eventually but it was hard facing that cold shoulder, even if she deserved it.